+hecollec+or Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 Slightly off topic, but I hate pooping at work. However, sometimes it's fun because some schmuck will enter the stalls while he's on a conference call. He continues to talk while pooping. I usually try and make grunting noises and flush the toilet about 10 times so the rest of his phone audience can hear the excitement. I love pooping at work. Getting paid to take a dump rules. WAXXX, mssskat184, smug_vc_douchebag and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
futures Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 I think it comes down to professionalism. Talking on the phone is like at the top of that, where as email is more casual. Then texting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
llamaface Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 I think it comes down to professionalism. Talking on the phone is like at the top of that, where as email is more casual. Then texting. So I shouldn't start my emails with "So, I'm pooping right now and I just had a question about these reports..."? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
futures Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 So I shouldn't start my emails with "So, I'm pooping right now and I thought about you"? depends on who its to haha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abovetheearth Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 depends this would have prevented this thread. ditc586 and futures 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
llamaface Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 this would have prevented this thread. Many threads were harmed in the making of this thread. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bladewillisisdead Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 -Sent from my iPhone (while pooping) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rip Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 I love pooping at work. Getting paid to take a dump rules. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aarondltd Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 Ah well it was pretty crazy with the mini Jaws gnawing at the air with all those teeth while I was pooping in a bucket. They were probably similar sizes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WAXXX Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 I cannot talk on the phone while shitting if someone else is in the room. I hate when I get phone calls in public restrooms. yeah, i don't understand this. the other day a guy answered the phone while walking into the bathroom. he proceeds to fart, shit, and make general poop noises all while trying to book an appointment to meet up with someone over the phone. he is still talking on the phone while he wipes, zips up, and exits the restroom. he does not wash his hands. the whole thing felt disgusting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aarondltd Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 yeah, i don't understand this. the other day a guy answered the phone while walking into the bathroom. he proceeds to fart, shit, and make general poop noises all while trying to book an appointment to meet up with someone over the phone. he is still talking on the phone while he wipes, zips up, and exits the restroom. he does not wash his hands. the whole thing felt disgusting. Heard a guy doing this at the bus station a few weeks ago and was wondering what the person on the other line thinks of this. They might think no one can tell, but the echo and the strain in the voice when pushing are dead giveaway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Butcha Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 I shit my pants in the 1st grade. I missed recess because of it. I was super upset. That was the last time I shit my pants. streetwaves and Dominic_ 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WAXXX Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 Heard a guy doing this at the bus station a few weeks ago and was wondering what the person on the other line thinks of this. They might think no one can tell, but the echo and the strain in the voice when pushing are dead giveaway. it's a total giveaway. everything the guy did was loud. i bet most people are scared to ask a person they don't know very well "are you shitting right now?" on a phone call. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abovetheearth Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 this is why you ought never buy a phone on eBay. chances are it comes with a fecal plan. aarondltd 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+hecollec+or Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QUA1L Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 Slightly off topic, but I hate pooping at work. You are looking at it wrong. I wait to take my morning glory until I get to work. If you take a 10-15 minute shit every morning, at the end of the year you have roughly 50 hours of throne time. That's paid vacation my man. mssskat184 and WAXXX 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aarondltd Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 You are looking at it wrong. I wait to take my morning glory until I get to work. If you take a 10-15 minute shit every morning, at the end of the year you have roughly 50 hours of throne time. That's paid vacation my man. Yep, used to do this too but would work extra hard to get ahead enough to have the time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
futures Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 I shit my pants in the 1st grade. I missed recess because of it. I was super upset. That was the last time I shit my pants. oh noooooooooooooooo this reminded me of a similar event i had in the 1st grade. i've successfully blocked it out of my mind for 23 years. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Satan Posted May 28, 2015 Author Share Posted May 28, 2015 ...until now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
futures Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 exactly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fuckinandsuckinandtouchin Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 Wow, this thread delivers. I almost shit myself a few weeks ago actually. I was at the mall getting a haircut at Outlooks. I got there early to have some Dino's pizza and pooed afterwards which was a bad sign. Fast forward to my haircut.. I had crazy bad gas wanting out and was milliseconds from letting it out while this attractive girl cut my hair, whom I normally go to. It was BAD, almost shaking like a volcano erupting. This fart really wanted to get the fuck out, but there was NO WAY. I could barely talk and answered her in short, quiet answers when she asked me a question. She's really good at cutting hair, which is why I always request her. She pays attention to detail which was against my favor that day as I had to get out soon, but she kept making tiny adjustments. When I left, I went to let it out and found out it was more than gas. No way was I shitting in the mall bathroom again, so I drove home quick and let it all out. I sat in my bathroom for at least an hour plus. I have a piss story also. Will post later. Dominic_ and FlippingOut 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheGhostOfRandySavage Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 I saw someone's recess one and it made me think of another good one! So I was five, and went to a christian school in southern Indiana. Anyway, recess time, having so much fun because I'm five years old and awesome. Only problem is, I'm having so much fun I don't want to stop...but I have to shit reeeeeeally badly. I figured out a great solution! Walk over to the basketball hoops (this is Indiana after all), pull down my pants and pop a squat in front of literally the entire school, dump my load, and get back to the fun. The only problem is some teacher screwed up all my fun by making me go inside and then called my parents. Poops. I do them when and where I want. SpazzyMcGee 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marc32137 Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 I had a close call at work a couple weeks back. What seemed like a normal fart ended up having some... extra volume to it. Fortunately my office is a short walk to the bathroom. I blame the Panera I had for lunch. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrewest Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 "Ghost chili caramel corn + Ruby Tuesday hamburger & fries" That there is a deadly combo that leads to furiously bolting out of Petsmart which closed in 3 minutes to grabbing the car, scooping up your wife, legally hurry-driving to Kohl's, parking, power-walking more upright than I've ever walked in my life from the car into the store & to the bathroom & then having a Dumb & Dumber-esque moment where my eyes crossed & my palm reached my forehead. That was some professional balloon-knot puckering there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bladewillisisdead Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 I too recently pooped in a Kohl's. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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