MAN ADVICE

[controlthebleeding]

You're mostly depressing. Cheer up, geez.

 

i prefer the word self-deprecating. 

[Guest]

can i just mention that one of my best friends has two girls on his résumé who are currently finalists to be cowboys cheerleaders...

[sideny]

can i just mention that one of my best friends has two girls on his résumé who are currently finalists to be cowboys cheerleaders...

good on him for getting in there beforehand

[KennyFuckingPowers]

Alright so the worst possible thing happened the other night. My girlfriend had a drunken one night stand. She allowed herself to lose control of herself and fucked some douchebag. I cant get it out of my head. I cant stop thinking about how the fuck she cheated on me. Everything was fucking perfect just a week ago and earlier in the day I was on the phone with her for 2 hours. The night before she blew my phone up calling me 14 times and leaving me 8 voicemails. I dont understand what the fuck happened and how she could do that. I then get the picture of her cheating on me in my head and I fill with rage. To the point where I almost attacked one of my friends last night. I cant believe this fucking happened to me. She fucked so much up. My life up. Im no longer going to be the guy I was when I was with her, because now Im emotionally destroyed, and will have THE WORST trust issues (I already had bad trust issues). The worst part is when I said to her one day "I dont want you to do something that I wouldnt be able to look at you the same again" she got fucking PISSED and said I was an idiot for even thinking she would do something like that.......well thats funny. I dont know man. I fucking hate women. They ruin good men. But I cant stop hurting over this. Its haunting me even when I sleep. its non stop on my mind. Its easy to say "get over her man, shes not worth it" but anyone who has felt super serious about someone like this will understand its not that easy. I actually saw a future with this girl. A family. Marriage. I NEVER feel that way about people. Im not like that at all. I never even allow myself to get close to someone but she was me in another body. She seriously was my soulmate. And the worst part about all this? I still want to work things out. I still want to be with her. Which is fucking pathetic on my part. But what the fuck? Im just in love with this whore.

[Ghost_Parlour*]

Alright so the worst possible thing happened the other night. My girlfriend had a drunken one night stand. She allowed herself to lose control of herself and fucked some douchebag. I cant get it out of my head. I cant stop thinking about how the fuck she cheated on me. Everything was fucking perfect just a week ago and earlier in the day I was on the phone with her for 2 hours. The night before she blew my phone up calling me 14 times and leaving me 8 voicemails. I dont understand what the fuck happened and how she could do that. I then get the picture of her cheating on me in my head and I fill with rage. To the point where I almost attacked one of my friends last night. I cant believe this fucking happened to me. She fucked so much up. My life up. Im no longer going to be the guy I was when I was with her, because now Im emotionally destroyed, and will have THE WORST trust issues (I already had bad trust issues). The worst part is when I said to her one day "I dont want you to do something that I wouldnt be able to look at you the same again" she got fucking PISSED and said I was an idiot for even thinking she would do something like that.......well thats funny. I dont know man. I fucking hate women. They ruin good men. But I cant stop hurting over this. Its haunting me even when I sleep. its non stop on my mind. Its easy to say "get over her man, shes not worth it" but anyone who has felt super serious about someone like this will understand its not that easy. I actually saw a future with this girl. A family. Marriage. I NEVER feel that way about people. Im not like that at all. I never even allow myself to get close to someone but she was me in another body. She seriously was my soulmate. And the worst part about all this? I still want to work things out. I still want to be with her. Which is fucking pathetic on my part. But what the fuck? Im just in love with this whore.

NEXT.

Seriously, you want to give her a chance to hurt you again? I've been lurking this thread for a while, and I'm not trying to take sides..just based on your other ex you should loosen the reigns a bit. She sounded a bit suffocated.

[simplyshanon]

Why would you want to spend the rest of your life with someone you won't ever fully trust again, and think is a "whore" now? I get you love her, but you have to respect yourself enough to let go and give yourself the chance to fall in love with someone else who won't bring all that negativity.

[thebiglebowski]

Yeah, million ways to say it. I'm sure others could be more poetic / sympathetic / empathetic / whatever.

 

But yeah, end it. Now. Alcohol doesn't make someone cheat. Get me blackout drunk and I won't cheat. People just get really drunk to have something to point to after they do it as a reason.

 

Text her "you blew it. It's over. Don't call or text me again". Defriend her. Drop her stuff off in a box. Don't respond to anything she does after that. Look at it as a chore -- just like cutting the lawn. No one wants to break up. It fucking sucks. Put your head down, get through it the best you can. The more you talk to her, the more you drag it out.

 

Don't marry a cheater! People don't change, at least once they become adults.

[Guest]

fuck. i got all excited when i saw this thread at the top of the page.

but now i'm bummed.

everything lebowski said. every single word.

[cbbrew22]

I'm really sorry you had to go through this. I can't even imagine what that feels like. How long have you been together.

You might be able to forgive and move forward but there will always be that brokenness in your relationship. What will happen when you look at this ten years from now and think about that brokenness? Will you feel bitterness? Or will you feel sadness but then be happiness at what the two of you have overcome and what you have at that point?

Plenty of people come back and have good relationships after something like this happens, but usually that infidelity stems from an already broken relationship and then the people involves start fixing things and mending the relationship as a whole and that becomes a part if the past. You have a different situation on your hands though and it seems as if the best thing to do is to take some time to yourself and put some serious thought into your relationship and what the future holds and how it will affect you for the rest of your life.

You think this girl is great? Just wait til you find their perfect girl who doesn't go sleep with another guy. This isn't the end of the road of happiness for you, it's just now up to you to decide where that happiness will come from.

[Guest]

except i'm not bummed.

at all.

 

went to a friend's going away party last night, and expected to end the night with this girl who i've hooked up with a couple times already. except when we were on the dance floor, she pretty much started going at it with another dude. she's nothing more than a hookup, but it's still a drag.

 

but then, as the night was ending, this one very very very good looking girl with a personality to match who i spent some time talking to asked me to come hang out in her car for a while. she'd been drinking, and wasn't quite ready to drive home yet.

i don't remember how the conversation turned in this direction, but she kind of called me out for not hitting on her. next thing i know, i'm getting us a hotel room.

 

i slept all of 45 minutes in between sessions. my genitals have never felt this kind of pain before. 

and it was beyond worth it. some of the best, dirtiest sex i've ever had.

 

but the connection we made was instantly amazing. it's been about 9 hours, and we're both kind of talking about this situation as if it's going to become something significant. 

 

 

[thebiglebowski]

except i'm not bummed.

at all.

 

went to a friend's going away party last night, and expected to end the night with this girl who i've hooked up with a couple times already. except when we were on the dance floor, she pretty much started going at it with another dude. she's nothing more than a hookup, but it's still a drag.

 

but then, as the night was ending, this one very very very good looking girl with a personality to match who i spent some time talking to asked me to come hang out in her car for a while. she'd been drinking, and wasn't quite ready to drive home yet.

i don't remember how the conversation turned in this direction, but she kind of called me out for not hitting on her. next thing i know, i'm getting us a hotel room.

 

i slept all of 45 minutes in between sessions. my genitals have never felt this kind of pain before. 

and it was beyond worth it. some of the best, dirtiest sex i've ever had.

 

but the connection we made was instantly amazing. it's been about 9 hours, and we're both kind of talking about this situation as if it's going to become something significant. 

 

 

 

Huzzah! Nice work.

 

You got a pic? Two "very"s and I would have let it go but with 3, I want a pic.

[Guest]

we're not fb friends yet, so this is the best i can do. as far as her face goes, she's asian and italian..

 

she's also about 100 pounds and has full C's

[thebiglebowski]

Plenty of people come back and have good relationships after something like this happens.

 

Well I don't want to make a blanket statement about everybody in the whole world but I think the perfect analogy (I think I used this earlier in the thread) is dropping a glass on the floor. You can pick up all the pieces and if you work your ass off can glue it back into something that will hold water, but it's never what you started with. That's if you can even piece it together.

 

Just bail, Matt. Don't think you are different than everyone else. What you had may have been special to you, but your situation is not special. Happens to the majority of us. Don't make the same mistakes that others have.

[thebiglebowski]

Ha. That's a teaser photo. What I can see obviously looks good. Limber.

[Guest]

she was a dancer. until she broke her back..

 

but yes, extremely limber.

this morning, she woke up from a brief nap, and decided to stretch. i sat there in awe for the duration of it while she wore nothing but a black lace thong.

[Guest]

whoa, to everything in here today... just whoa

[Guest]

@matt: bummer...I say move on, but no one ever listens in this thread anyway, so do what you want.

 

@ry:

[thebiglebowski]

Kinda trite compared to other topics but my sister wants me to meet a girl she talks to at her coffee shop. Says she is cute and talked her up a little. I'll give it a try.

 

Go in solo?

 

Go in with my sister?

 

Try and get my sister to just get her to go to the bar or something?

 

I'm just in between all the options cause I don't want to be in a situation where I just say "hi. I'll have a coffee with cream no sugar" and move on but I don't know what else to do. That make sense? Probably not a big deal whatever route I'm just wondering what is best.

[Guest]

depends on if your sister would make it awkward or not. Like if you went into the shop and your sister was like "soooo, this is *name*... who I was telling you about."

 

I say that because my brother will do that to me sometimes.

 

I'd say just ask your sister to get her to come out to the bar. less pressure.

[Guest]

i'd also say get her to the bar.

 

 

this girl and i are texting now... she is fucking filthy. it's amazing.

[hobohunter48]

she was a dancer chargers cheerleader until she broke her back pelvis.

That's all I could think of when you said that.

[Guest]

That's all I could think of when you said that.

 

A+

[bigbruise]

Just wanted to say props to Ry.

[Dashhax]

Alright so the worst possible thing happened the other night. My girlfriend had a drunken one night stand. She allowed herself to lose control of herself and fucked some douchebag. I cant get it out of my head. I cant stop thinking about how the fuck she cheated on me. Everything was fucking perfect just a week ago and earlier in the day I was on the phone with her for 2 hours. The night before she blew my phone up calling me 14 times and leaving me 8 voicemails. I dont understand what the fuck happened and how she could do that. I then get the picture of her cheating on me in my head and I fill with rage. To the point where I almost attacked one of my friends last night. I cant believe this fucking happened to me. She fucked so much up. My life up. Im no longer going to be the guy I was when I was with her, because now Im emotionally destroyed, and will have THE WORST trust issues (I already had bad trust issues). The worst part is when I said to her one day "I dont want you to do something that I wouldnt be able to look at you the same again" she got fucking PISSED and said I was an idiot for even thinking she would do something like that.......well thats funny. I dont know man. I fucking hate women. They ruin good men. But I cant stop hurting over this. Its haunting me even when I sleep. its non stop on my mind. Its easy to say "get over her man, shes not worth it" but anyone who has felt super serious about someone like this will understand its not that easy. I actually saw a future with this girl. A family. Marriage. I NEVER feel that way about people. Im not like that at all. I never even allow myself to get close to someone but she was me in another body. She seriously was my soulmate. And the worst part about all this? I still want to work things out. I still want to be with her. Which is fucking pathetic on my part. But what the fuck? Im just in love with this whore.

 

I'm sorry Matt you don't deserve that no one does. If you stay with her you will always have that on your mind and your relationship will never progress. I know how bad it can get thinking about someone never sleeping or eating. Nothing you can do right now will get her off your mind unless you can keep yourself busy with something else. In my opinion if someone cheats they don't deserve a second chance. Your best bet is to just move on, don't talk to this chick for a while let her live with her decision to do what she did. I don't know if you guys live together but if you do can you stay at a friends house for a few days?

[Guest]

Alright so the worst possible thing happened the other night. My girlfriend had a drunken one night stand. She allowed herself to lose control of herself and fucked some douchebag. I cant get it out of my head. I cant stop thinking about how the fuck she cheated on me. Everything was fucking perfect just a week ago and earlier in the day I was on the phone with her for 2 hours. The night before she blew my phone up calling me 14 times and leaving me 8 voicemails. I dont understand what the fuck happened and how she could do that. I then get the picture of her cheating on me in my head and I fill with rage. To the point where I almost attacked one of my friends last night. I cant believe this fucking happened to me. She fucked so much up. My life up. Im no longer going to be the guy I was when I was with her, because now Im emotionally destroyed, and will have THE WORST trust issues (I already had bad trust issues). The worst part is when I said to her one day "I dont want you to do something that I wouldnt be able to look at you the same again" she got fucking PISSED and said I was an idiot for even thinking she would do something like that.......well thats funny. I dont know man. I fucking hate women. They ruin good men. But I cant stop hurting over this. Its haunting me even when I sleep. its non stop on my mind. Its easy to say "get over her man, shes not worth it" but anyone who has felt super serious about someone like this will understand its not that easy. I actually saw a future with this girl. A family. Marriage. I NEVER feel that way about people. Im not like that at all. I never even allow myself to get close to someone but she was me in another body. She seriously was my soulmate. And the worst part about all this? I still want to work things out. I still want to be with her. Which is fucking pathetic on my part. But what the fuck? Im just in love with this whore.

have you guys been talking? I'm interested in seeing how this turns out for you matt.

 

I hate when people try to blame things on being drunk. I always think it’s the opposite... true feelings come out when people are drunk. she had no reservations about cheating on you. she sucks, and I’m sorry. like lebowski said, if my relationship was as intense as yours was, I could be blackout drunk and cheating wouldn’t even cross my mind. She wanted to... so she got drunk and acted on it.