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djones0930

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Everything posted by djones0930

  1. ^^^ Well, that guy's wiener will probably fall off soon. He's a boy in a man's body, and so he'll never be completely satisfied, no matter how many girls he bones. By the time he's ready to settle down, he'll probably have HPV, Gonorrhea, Diarrhea, no familia, haunted by Bob Villa...and it'll be too late. Your ex's cousin sucks.
  2. I was getting the same way, but then I found new ways to enjoy them. I started adding different spices n herbs, and it got to the point where it would taste fucking amaaaazing. Especially with added pepper jack cheese. Spicy and delish. Try that!
  3. Oh I have an insane amount of random confessions. One time I masturbated to The Naked Gun during its sex scene with leslie nielsen and priscilla presley. I was probably 12 or 13. In Kindergarten, I peed my sweatpants, got scared, and blamed it on the bully, Wenley. I remember everything...i literally told my teacher "he pulled it out...then...peed on me" -- she fucking believed me. fuck you, wenley. I had a dream that I was having sex with a beautiful girl, but then she turned into a cat I used to own. I totally owned that cat. Haha jk...no I freaked out in the dream and woke up with cat hair all over my crotch. When I'm alone and listen to music, I like to pretend like I'm the singer. Basically it looks like I've been possessed by Anthony Green and other crazy onstage performers. I like to jump around everywhere and lip-synch lyrics while listening to awesome bands. Whenever I listen to EITS, I love pretending I'm Munaf. It's such a great exercise. Also I'm usually sore as shit the next day.
  4. Minus the Bear. Andy Hull. Wanting to be older... now that I'm older (24), shit sucks. I gots back pains, knee pains, growing pains dvd box set, shitty eye sight. I am, however, healthier than I've been. Fast-food restaurants...except Taco Bell -- any day, anywhere. Chalupacabraaaa
  5. I feel like the thread should end on that note. Hands down, awesome response.
  6. haha ditto that! Let's just say I had a terrible vacation, and am glad to be back. BAM Now where are all of Errol's dumbass confessions?!
  7. Another confession: Post graduation, I shit on a random teacher's desk at my high school. I still feel bad, but at the same time it was awesome. Also, right after the break up with my ex, I hung out with this beaaauty at the middle school track. We had cigars while staring at the stars...(d'awwww). Well, upon walking back to the car, I had the urge to take off my pants and run a lap. So I did. It was honestly the most exhilarating sense of freedom. My feet were blackened by the pavement, but didn't care...and thankfully it wasn't too cold out. Fucking fantastic.
  8. Now Mike, you said you haven't had sex with any females since 04...what about animals, males, skyscrapers?
  9. "Treat 'em like dirt, they still to you like mud" ...it's fucking lame, but the idea is true. If you give a girl everything you have to offer, then she'll be uninterested because you aren't throwing her curveballs. I fucking HATE how everything has to be a goddamn game, and nothing can just easily work out. My lady friends will say "it's all about the chase". Well, most of them will have a relationship lasting a year, have a terrible break up, then find some other dude and follow their same routine. From dating a goddess for almost 3 years, I know how to treat a girl well. I didn't know how to treat myself well though, and that's how things ended. I had to finally be selfish. I broke up with her because she became too goddamn insane and I was dooooone with walking on eggshells and mentally beating up myself to make her feel better. This break up was two years ago, and now she's married with a hott dude who owns a house n shit (via parents). Good for them. Wasn't time for me. All of my confidence goes toward my personality. I also have really defined legs for some genetic reason, but besides that I know I can mentally speak to a girl and have fun with it. That's the key: just fucking TALK and have fun with the conversation -- do not ATTEMPT to 'get' the girl already. If you act like you're just friends, then she'll feel most comfortable with you. A few weeks might go by down the road and you're in the friends zone, but she's there. Now, who knows if that girl is still the girl you were first taken back by -- if she is, then stop hanging out with her. That'll make her pull toward you -- the curveball has been thrown. You'll find out if she really likes you or she likes having the attention and doesn't really appreciate it. I kinda tried that out. It worked, but then I fucked up and pushed too hard to date when, even though she liked me a lot, she just wasn't ready to date (this was relatively recent). Ah well. I'll just settle for a hood rat.
  10. BieberHole69? !!! is that you ? Hahaha....BieberAssEater6969 is that you??!?!?!
  11. I've never smoked weed. I've sat by friends who will toke up in front of me, but whatever, I'm not gonna NOT play Twisted Metal on the playstation. I thoroughly enjoy all stoner movies and stoner characters in movies, but I don't care to get high. People think I'm always on drugs because I'm typically hyperactive, super random, or severely chill. I'm just fucking weird. Actually, when I'm referred to as weird by someone, I take it as a compliment because I'm not some boring doucher like them. YUP. I slept under the stairs in the closet on an air mattress from this past March to December. #collegesacrifices. I got called Harry Potter. ....I did have a visitor a couple times in that closet -- it was awesome. (Input to String knows about it/witnessed haha) I FUCKING LOVE HOT ROD. not hot rods, but the movie Hot Rod.
  12. Yogurt. I remember absolutely yakking at the thought of yogurt -- the texture, smell, color...fucking grossed me out at a younger age. Now I'll buy the big ass tub of Yoplait Strawberry and shove it down my throat. SO FUCKING GOOD. Peas. Anchorman. "We Were Dead Before the Ship Even Sank" by Modest Mouse. I bought it the day of its release..gave it a few listens, then used it as toilet paper. Now it's super duper imo Cooking
  13. I tell ya one thing, if she say she a justin bieber fan, YOU ARE A JUSTIN BIEBER FAN. BIEBERCONDA
  14. ^^^fuck that. I feel bad for the tattoo artist.
  15. How about album art that made you buy the record???? Goodwill, $1
  16. So does this guy! But in all seriousness, those who you will keep close to you and those who will keep you close can be based upon the idea of: be interesting, and interested. If you think you'll never be good enough, even in just a basic conversation that's not about work or the shit you did over the weekend, start to research the most random shit: countries, foreign films, anatomy of the human body, art history, kama sutra, whatever -- the more things you find interesting, the more you'll have to discuss with someone else (male or female), and the more they'll find interesting in you. I grew up without confidence, and remained the quiet, yet random kid for a while, until finally I said fuck it and struck up conversation with anyone. Observe people and you'll learn. Talk to people and you'll learn. Communication is key, man. Communicate with yourself by expanding your personality, and communicate with all things. Without experience you'll never learn anything. Hell, I'll walk outside and talk to a goddamn plant for all I care -- they need carbon dioxide, and we breathe out carbon dioxide. Eventually I'll bring that up with someone who might not care about it, but if they're not interested in just talking about random things, then fine, whatever. If you're a beer drinking, go research how to brew your own beer and do it. Eventually, you'll randomly talk to someone at the bar, tell them you made a beer and ask if they want one. Perhaps they'll have a friend who's some cool chick that likes different beers. You never know...and you'll never know until you do something about it. There are too many people on this goddamn planet, man. Too many assholes, and too many genuine people that you'll never know until you meet 'em. I met a girl from Brazil on facebook, and she's cool as shit...she studies architecture and travels to random countries to see other cultures and to hike. I may have deactivated my account for now, but we skype. Skype's awesome. DO SUMTIN FUNN, THOMAS. RIGHT MEOW. __________________________________________ + listened to a lot of my records today since I moved into a new apt. - hungry as fuck + read a book of poems from the 80s. I haven't read a book in quite a while. + pumped up my aerobed.
  17. Well, it's time for me to create a bacon engagement ring and propose to her.
  18. I couldn't see them being such assholes to do that. It's gotta happen. Mi Fa Mi 2LP was my best purchase ever from Circuit City before it went bankrupt haha
  19. Wait. You're telling me you don't like the one I got on my lower left side? Son of a bitch, Brian!
  20. ^^^ ah hahahahaha. O-Town. Liquid dreams, baby. WOO! YEAH! WOO!
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