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The Ex-Girlfriend (or Boyfriend) Thread


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  • 10 months later...

Seven years and we're breaking up.  I still love her so much, but her love for me has waned over the years.  We've lived together for five of those years, never fought, had a fiery passion for each other, and went through so much together.  We were always considered the "model couple" by our friends and family and I always saw her as my future wife and mother of my children.  We have so many memories together, had made so many plans together.  And now it's nearing the end.

 

We are currently on "a break" for "space" that was supposed to last a month (which I always assumed was just a drawn out way to break up).  Right now I'm crashing at my buddies' bachelor pad on the couch for the time being. 

 

She contacted me two days ago - about two weeks into the "break" - to meet up with her tomorrow "to talk". I know what that means.

 

The last two days I've been kind of in a shocked daze, not fully accepting it.  But now that our planned meeting is less than 12 hours away, it's beginning to set in.  It's so fucking difficult, realizing that she's no longer going to be a part of my life.  The minor details are starting to sink in - the cathartic experience of moving out, separating "our" stuff into "her" stuff and "my" stuff, the mutual friends, the countless memoirs of her hidden in everything I do, the process of everyone finding out that our "perfect" relationship has ended (and the countless questions of why, which I don't have answers to), the debilitating heartbreak that takes the rest of your life to get over.

 

I've been listening to a lot of Beatles tunes, certain ones really speaking to me:

I'm So Tired

I Will

Something

For No One

Yer Blues

Let it Be 

 

She's going to ruin The Beatles for me. :/

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Seven years and we're breaking up. I still love her so much, but her love for me has waned over the years. We've lived together for five of those years, never fought, had a fiery passion for each other, and went through so much together. We were always considered the "model couple" by our friends and family and I always saw her as my future wife and mother of my children. We have so many memories together, had made so many plans together. And now it's nearing the end.

We are currently on "a break" for "space" that was supposed to last a month (which I always assumed was just a drawn out way to break up). Right now I'm crashing at my buddies' bachelor pad on the couch for the time being.

She contacted me two days ago - about two weeks into the "break" - to meet up with her tomorrow "to talk". I know what that means.

The last two days I've been kind of in a shocked daze, not fully accepting it. But now that our planned meeting is less than 12 hours away, it's beginning to set in. It's so fucking difficult, realizing that she's no longer going to be a part of my life. The minor details are starting to sink in - the cathartic experience of moving out, separating "our" stuff into "her" stuff and "my" stuff, the mutual friends, the countless memoirs of her hidden in everything I do, the process of everyone finding out that our "perfect" relationship has ended (and the countless questions of why, which I don't have answers to), the debilitating heartbreak that takes the rest of your life to get over.

I've been listening to a lot of Beatles tunes, certain ones really speaking to me:

I'm So Tired

I Will

Something

For No One

Yer Blues

Let it Be

She's going to ruin The Beatles for me. :/

I've been there and it sucks. It sucks a lot, and for that I'm so terribly sorry for you. I know it sounds cliche, and you're gonna hear it over and over again, but it does get better. Actually, it can get a lot better and everything you thought was perfect can actually get better and more rewarding. Again, I know it sounds cheesy, but keep your head up man, you'll get through it.

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However, in the last seven years dating has gotten wild. So there's that.

 

Really? Does it ever change? I stopped dating when I was 16 and got my heart broken. That's when it started to be almost too easy. Happily out of the game now since three years. So.. Wild how?

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Seven years and we're breaking up.  I still love her so much, but her love for me has waned over the years.  We've lived together for five of those years, never fought, had a fiery passion for each other, and went through so much together.  We were always considered the "model couple" by our friends and family and I always saw her as my future wife and mother of my children.  We have so many memories together, had made so many plans together.  And now it's nearing the end.

 

We are currently on "a break" for "space" that was supposed to last a month (which I always assumed was just a drawn out way to break up).  Right now I'm crashing at my buddies' bachelor pad on the couch for the time being. 

 

She contacted me two days ago - about two weeks into the "break" - to meet up with her tomorrow "to talk". I know what that means.

 

The last two days I've been kind of in a shocked daze, not fully accepting it.  But now that our planned meeting is less than 12 hours away, it's beginning to set in.  It's so fucking difficult, realizing that she's no longer going to be a part of my life.  The minor details are starting to sink in - the cathartic experience of moving out, separating "our" stuff into "her" stuff and "my" stuff, the mutual friends, the countless memoirs of her hidden in everything I do, the process of everyone finding out that our "perfect" relationship has ended (and the countless questions of why, which I don't have answers to), the debilitating heartbreak that takes the rest of your life to get over.

 

I've been listening to a lot of Beatles tunes, certain ones really speaking to me:

I'm So Tired

I Will

Something

For No One

Yer Blues

Let it Be 

 

She's going to ruin The Beatles for me. :/

 

The seven year itch.... some people just don't make it. I'm so sorry though. Seven years is a really long time to devote yourself and your life to someone. I can't even imagine the pain and difficulty you're going through right now. I hope you are able to do some soul searching and find what makes you happy without her in your life. Enjoy what you have as much as you can, and think about all the adventures ahead of you. 

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Really? Does it ever change? I stopped dating when I was 16 and got my heart broken. That's when it started to be almost too easy. Happily out of the game now since three years. So.. Wild how?

Online dating no longer carries a stigma and apps like tinder are the new normal. Makes meeting people way easier and if you're into hookups then you're in luck.

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Also wait...you stopped dating at 16 and now you're 19? That hardly even counts. Once you're 21 shit gets way more real.

 

I don't think you can even really experience heartbreak when you're sixteen, since you aren't really capable of really, truly loving someone yet. Hell, you aren't even who you are really going to be at 16. Once that kid really falls in love, and then experiences heartbreak, that 16yr old incident will feel like a minor inconvenience. 

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I don't think you can even really experience heartbreak when you're sixteen, since you aren't really capable of really, truly loving someone yet. Hell, you aren't even who you are really going to be at 16. Once that kid really falls in love, and then experiences heartbreak, that 16yr old incident will feel like a minor inconvenience.

When you're 16 that shit feels like THE MOST IMPORTANT AND INTENSE THING IN THE WORLD

But yeah, then a few years later it should feel like nothing.

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When you're 16 that shit feels like THE MOST IMPORTANT AND INTENSE THING IN THE WORLD

But yeah, then a few years later it should feel like nothing.

 

Exactly. At 16 this shit feels like the end of the world, period. You get over this shit a lot faster than when you're in your late 20's, but damn it's intense. Ten years later I know for a fact that I was a kid who really fell for that self-loathing game.

And yeah, what Dave says: Now it seems like a minor inconvenience. But damn if it didn't mean the world to me then.

 

Also Dave: How's your leg?

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When you're 16 that shit feels like THE MOST IMPORTANT AND INTENSE THING IN THE WORLD

But yeah, then a few years later it should feel like nothing.

Yeah, this is why I actively avoid the teen dating thing. It will never go anywhere, and usually just ends in headache. Plus I don't want to have to use my record money on some girl. Who is she to think she is that important. :P

 

Jokes aside, I see no point in getting in on the teen high school dating thing. It's much more fun to sit back and watch other people make the stupid decisions. 

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Yeah, this is why I actively avoid the teen dating thing. It will never go anywhere, and usually just ends in headache. Plus I don't want to have to use my record money on some girl. Who is she to think she is that important. :P

 

Jokes aside, I see no point in getting in on the teen high school dating thing. It's much more fun to sit back and watch other people make the stupid decisions. 

 

I know teen drama is stupid, but I don't regret a thing. Now I know that love at 16 wasn't real, but it FELT real. It really helped me grow and see what is going to be important to me when I eventually start looking out for the one. Of course it's a lot of 'Look back and laugh' now, but I wouldn't wanna have missed any of it. Like this one time at 15 when I asked a girl out to a concert I won tickets to, and I really dug her. Next day she thanked me for the free ticket and told me to not come near her ever again. I cried for days on end. Today, when I tell that story to the one, it makes me feel thankful for all that bullshit that lead me right to where I am now.

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I know teen drama is stupid, but I don't regret a thing. Now I know that love at 16 wasn't real, but it FELT real. It really helped me grow and see what is going to be important to me when I eventually start looking out for the one. Of course it's a lot of 'Look back and laugh' now, but I wouldn't wanna have missed any of it. Like this one time at 15 when I asked a girl out to a concert I won tickets to, and I really dug her. Next day she thanked me for the free ticket and told me to not come near her ever again. I cried for days on end. Today, when I tell that story to the one, it makes me feel thankful for all that bullshit that lead me right to where I am now.

Not saying what you did was wrong, just saying that's not my thing. I'm generally kind of antisocial. I have a group of friends that I'm pretty close with, but otherwise I'm not a "let's just go randomly to XXXX event and see who I meet" kind of person. 

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Not saying what you did was wrong, just saying that's not my thing. I'm generally kind of antisocial. I have a group of friends that I'm pretty close with, but otherwise I'm not a "let's just go randomly to XXXX event and see who I meet" kind of person. 

 

Yeah, that was not supposed to come off as lecturing or something like that. I was just trying to express how I feel about teenage years now, looking back. I bet everyone does something stupid during those years, the only thing that matters is that you take something out of it that helps you being happy as a grown ass sappy adult.

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Yeah, this is why I actively avoid the teen dating thing. It will never go anywhere, and usually just ends in headache. Plus I don't want to have to use my record money on some girl. Who is she to think she is that important. :P

Jokes aside, I see no point in getting in on the teen high school dating thing. It's much more fun to sit back and watch other people make the stupid decisions.

I regret not dating and making stupid decisions as a teenager.

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