The Butcha Posted December 20, 2015 Share Posted December 20, 2015 These last few weeks have been really intensely passionate and intimate. We both fell in love with each other so hard and so fast. This will be the first night in over a month that I will be going to sleep in an big empty bed. I feel so goddamn empty right now. I anticipated this, so I set up my work schedule to take on as many hours as possible. I'm working eight hour shifts 10 days in a row, then I'll be doing six day weeks until the next semester begins at the end of January. I figure it'll distract me and fill my days enough to stave off any spiraling depression. I've been crying at work. Good idea with the work schedule. I pretty much do the same shit. I work 5-2. Take a nap. Go to the gym. Eat dinner. Time to start getting ready for bed again. Life goes by very fast this way but it helps you not think. How's she taking it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cambionic Posted December 20, 2015 Share Posted December 20, 2015 Good idea with the work schedule. I pretty much do the same shit. I work 5-2. Take a nap. Go to the gym. Eat dinner. Time to start getting ready for bed again. Life goes by very fast this way but it helps you not think. How's she taking it? I think she's in the same situation. She's been snapchatting me pictures from the bus all day and she just made it to the airport in the last hour or so. Her flight isn't until 5pm tomorrow, so she's gonna be alone in the airport for the next 24 hours. We've been texting back and forth and it hurts me even more to know that she's crying and missing me while I'm sitting at work. She said she wants to come back as soon as she's able, but I don't want to hold on to some idealistic naive hope for something that may never happen. Another somewhat surreal thing is that my ex's best friend (whom I've known for 10+ years) has been talking to me about this whole situation. She's very understanding and helpful, but it still feels weird talking to her about another girl that isn't my ex. She was there through my breakup and she's here during this situation. She's a good friend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chkadea Posted December 21, 2015 Share Posted December 21, 2015 I think she's in the same situation. She's been snapchatting me pictures from the bus all day and she just made it to the airport in the last hour or so. Her flight isn't until 5pm tomorrow, so she's gonna be alone in the airport for the next 24 hours. We've been texting back and forth and it hurts me even more to know that she's crying and missing me while I'm sitting at work. She said she wants to come back as soon as she's able, but I don't want to hold on to some idealistic naive hope for something that may never happen. Another somewhat surreal thing is that my ex's best friend (whom I've known for 10+ years) has been talking to me about this whole situation. She's very understanding and helpful, but it still feels weird talking to her about another girl that isn't my ex. She was there through my breakup and she's here during this situation. She's a good friend. I'm so sorry to hear about this. I know right now, during the holidays, it probably feels even more raw - but I think that both you and her, if you feel as strongly as it seems you do, should really step back and consider that maybe you CAN make it work. Nothing is impossible. Don't be naive, but don't be cynical and hammer the nails in the coffin just yet. You both deserve happiness, and if it can be together, even better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cambionic Posted December 21, 2015 Share Posted December 21, 2015 I'm so sorry to hear about this. I know right now, during the holidays, it probably feels even more raw - but I think that both you and her, if you feel as strongly as it seems you do, should really step back and consider that maybe you CAN make it work. Nothing is impossible. Don't be naive, but don't be cynical and hammer the nails in the coffin just yet. You both deserve happiness, and if it can be together, even better. I knew it was gonna be tough when she left, especially when this would be the first year in almost a decade that I hadn't had a significant other to spend it with. No shared presents, no shared New Years kiss. Both her and I will spend a lonely Christmas and New Years apart. I took on a double shift for Christmas Eve and Christmas, so I'll have some company during these times. She'll be stuck at home with her family, which is nearly as bad. But the more we talk, the more I realize that the naive ideals of her returning (or me moving to her) are just pipe dreams. Our paths are so different that it's highly unlikely we'll ever see each other again. She's always traveling all around the world, while I'm pretty much staying in California - or at least the US. And if she did come back to visit, I don't think we'd be able to revive the same intense intimacy and passion that we shared in these last two months. It would be bittersweet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cambionic Posted December 24, 2015 Share Posted December 24, 2015 Fuck. Today is hard. The next two days are going to be even more challenging. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chkadea Posted December 24, 2015 Share Posted December 24, 2015 Fuck. Today is hard. The next two days are going to be even more challenging. Sending you positive vibes, scout. Hopefully work provides some form of distraction, although not entirely sure how much fun that is. If you need anything, let me know! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cambionic Posted December 24, 2015 Share Posted December 24, 2015 Sending you positive vibes, scout. Hopefully work provides some form of distraction, although not entirely sure how much fun that is. If you need anything, let me know! Thank you. I was talking to her all day yesterday and I was in such good spirits - it was like she never left. We facetimed throughout the day, whenever both of our schedules overlapped. I stayed up to watch the sunrise while talking to her. But I woke up this morning and it felt different. She was spending more time with her family, so I didn't want to bother her much, but I felt this growing urge to talk with her and just let out all this emotion I had awaken with. We talked for a few hours and it got really, really heavy about what our future holds. It's all so up in the air now, and it is really unlikely that it'll go anywhere, but I want to hold on to this. It's just too beautiful and rare to lose so easily. I was openly crying a lot of the time and I couldn't put my phone down the whole time. I couldn't even manage to get out of bed until 30 minutes before my scheduled shift, so I was late to work today. My normal coworkers aren't here today, so I'm pretty much alone in this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cambionic Posted December 25, 2015 Share Posted December 25, 2015 Yeah, today was harder than yesterday. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Butcha Posted December 26, 2015 Share Posted December 26, 2015 Yeah, today was harder than yesterday. The holidays are super rough to be alone. I do know those feels. In other news, my ex is coming to visit me for New Years. I'm really fucking nervous. She's going to be staying with me for 5 days. I'm kind of excited to do the whole New Years thing with her. But ultimately I'm pretty stressed about the situation. Just knowing I need to bring up the what the fuck are we doing question in person and hopefully there will be some answers. Stay tuned... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cambionic Posted December 26, 2015 Share Posted December 26, 2015 The holidays are super rough to be alone. I do know those feels. In other news, my ex is coming to visit me for New Years. I'm really fucking nervous. She's going to be staying with me for 5 days. I'm kind of excited to do the whole New Years thing with her. But ultimately I'm pretty stressed about the situation. Just knowing I need to bring up the what the fuck are we doing question in person and hopefully there will be some answers. Stay tuned... Hey, this could be the beginning of something good! I understand the nerves, but stay positive. It might work out a lot better than you ever expected. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danthemjfan23 Posted January 2, 2016 Share Posted January 2, 2016 why did she get to the airport so early? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Vool Posted January 2, 2016 Share Posted January 2, 2016 I'm kind of excited to do the whole New Years thing with her. Don't know what your "the whole New Years thing" is, but did you do it to her? + Taco? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Butcha Posted January 2, 2016 Share Posted January 2, 2016 Don't know what your "the whole New Years thing" is, but did you do it to her? + Taco? Bahaha. Iv just always spent New Years alone. It was cool to actually have something to do. Things are going great so far. It wasn't until New Year's Eve that we finally seemed to remember each other a lot more. We were pushing 6 months of not seeing each other. We've got a few more days left together before I have to pull the "soo..what is this?" question. Having a long distance relationship is all we can have until she can ever make a move back here or not. There's also the potential that Tuesday is the last day I ever see her. So lots of emotions and crazy things happening in my brain. Whatever it is for right now, I'm enjoying it. And looking forward to some mini road trips we will be taking Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday when I finally get some days off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cambionic Posted January 3, 2016 Share Posted January 3, 2016 Bahaha. Iv just always spent New Years alone. It was cool to actually have something to do. Things are going great so far. It wasn't until New Year's Eve that we finally seemed to remember each other a lot more. We were pushing 6 months of not seeing each other. We've got a few more days left together before I have to pull the "soo..what is this?" question. Having a long distance relationship is all we can have until she can ever make a move back here or not. There's also the potential that Tuesday is the last day I ever see her. So lots of emotions and crazy things happening in my brain. Whatever it is for right now, I'm enjoying it. And looking forward to some mini road trips we will be taking Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday when I finally get some days off. Take advantage of the time you have now. Say the things that you feel need to be said, or you may never have the chance to speak them to her in person. We get these metered out moments that slip away so quickly, you never get them back. Don't let those seconds waste away. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ronniegwilliams Posted January 16, 2016 Share Posted January 16, 2016 I haven't posted in this thread in a long time. I haven't really needed to, since I've been with the girl of my dreams for nearly three years. That was, until she ended it two nights ago. Maybe it's silly to vent online but I don't have anyone to talk to and it helps just to say things, to anyone. I moved to D.C. last year for her and had a really rough time acclimating myself to a new city. Ultimately, I ended up handling the transition like a whiney brat, upset that I left a town where I knew everyone to go to a city where I was a nobody. This led to fighting, which led to more fighting. I'm not good at fighting; I'm stubborn and would rather sleep on a couch then swallow my pride. After a year of fighting, she finally got to a point where she is just exhausted. I can't blame her. I haven't been able to leave the bed and the only way I was able to sleep was a bottle of bourbon. My plane takes me back to Kansas tomorrow and I'm just waiting for her to tell me not to go, but it hasn't happened. It sucks, knowing that there's only one person in this entire universe that you want to be with, but you can't be with them. I would give anything in the world right now to be able to fix this, but I can't and it sucks. I thought I'd been through the worst, years ago. Turns out I was wrong. Again, I'm only venting because it's taking my mind off of it, for just a brief few moments. It keeps me from bawling like a baby or sending her messages. She really was the best thing to happen to me and I fucked it up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thebiglebowski Posted January 16, 2016 Share Posted January 16, 2016 Bummer man. Channel it into songwriting. Not that you asked for advice but anyways, quit with the messages. No one has ever fixed a breakup with a text. Just remember the only way to fix it is to give space, renormalize, then see where things stand. She may come to realize she made a mistake and want to try again. It's far from a sure thing but it's your best and only chance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chkadea Posted January 16, 2016 Share Posted January 16, 2016 I haven't posted in this thread in a long time. I haven't really needed to, since I've been with the girl of my dreams for nearly three years. That was, until she ended it two nights ago. Maybe it's silly to vent online but I don't have anyone to talk to and it helps just to say things, to anyone. I moved to D.C. last year for her and had a really rough time acclimating myself to a new city. Ultimately, I ended up handling the transition like a whiney brat, upset that I left a town where I knew everyone to go to a city where I was a nobody. This led to fighting, which led to more fighting. I'm not good at fighting; I'm stubborn and would rather sleep on a couch then swallow my pride. After a year of fighting, she finally got to a point where she is just exhausted. I can't blame her. I haven't been able to leave the bed and the only way I was able to sleep was a bottle of bourbon. My plane takes me back to Kansas tomorrow and I'm just waiting for her to tell me not to go, but it hasn't happened. It sucks, knowing that there's only one person in this entire universe that you want to be with, but you can't be with them. I would give anything in the world right now to be able to fix this, but I can't and it sucks. I thought I'd been through the worst, years ago. Turns out I was wrong. Again, I'm only venting because it's taking my mind off of it, for just a brief few moments. It keeps me from bawling like a baby or sending her messages. She really was the best thing to happen to me and I fucked it up. I'm not sure any of this is helpful, but here goes. First, I'm truly sorry you and her are at the point you are at right now. Fighting in a relationship, especially with the one person who means the world to you....love can be the most beautiful and rewarding of feelings, but also the most brutal and painful. You need one for the other. Second, and I don't mean to sound cold, but it sounds like you need to swallow your pride if she does mean everything to you. You have to know when to admit you're wrong, but also she has to come to terms and accept that living in a strange city is difficult, too. Lay it all out on the line, because at this point, what do you have to lose that you feel like you haven't lost already? Maybe a catharsis is what you need, or maybe it won't change a thing, but I think opening up, and then giving it space to breathe so you both can take the appropriate time to decompress, will do you a world of good. Good luck cfrancese5, danthemjfan23, Eliminator Jr. and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ronniegwilliams Posted January 16, 2016 Share Posted January 16, 2016 You're absolutely right, about everything. I just wish I would have made a change sooner to avoid all of this heartache. I've layed it all out there and she still wants to end it. Again, I do t blame her. I'm just hoping that with some distance and space, maybe there will be some sense of clarity that washes over her and reminds her of how good we can be. I know it may be a long shot, but hope will help me sleep at night, after ruining things with the most amazing person I've ever known. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eliminator Jr. Posted January 16, 2016 Share Posted January 16, 2016 I'm not sure any of this is helpful, but here goes. First, I'm truly sorry you and her are at the point you are at right now. Fighting in a relationship, especially with the one person who means the world to you....love can be the most beautiful and rewarding of feelings, but also the most brutal and painful. You need one for the other. Second, and I don't mean to sound cold, but it sounds like you need to swallow your pride if she does mean everything to you. You have to know when to admit you're wrong, but also she has to come to terms and accept that living in a strange city is difficult, too. Lay it all out on the line, because at this point, what do you have to lose that you feel like you haven't lost already? Maybe a catharsis is what you need, or maybe it won't change a thing, but I think opening up, and then giving it space to breathe so you both can take the appropriate time to decompress, will do you a world of good. Good luck amazing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cambionic Posted January 17, 2016 Share Posted January 17, 2016 I'm not sure any of this is helpful, but here goes. First, I'm truly sorry you and her are at the point you are at right now. Fighting in a relationship, especially with the one person who means the world to you....love can be the most beautiful and rewarding of feelings, but also the most brutal and painful. You need one for the other. Second, and I don't mean to sound cold, but it sounds like you need to swallow your pride if she does mean everything to you. You have to know when to admit you're wrong, but also she has to come to terms and accept that living in a strange city is difficult, too. Lay it all out on the line, because at this point, what do you have to lose that you feel like you haven't lost already? Maybe a catharsis is what you need, or maybe it won't change a thing, but I think opening up, and then giving it space to breathe so you both can take the appropriate time to decompress, will do you a world of good. Good luck Always on point with amazing advice! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marc32137 Posted January 19, 2016 Share Posted January 19, 2016 So after about two years of no luck on a bunch of free dating sites, I bit the bullet and decided to give money to Match.com. Sent a bunch of messages out and got one response. We were chatting back and forth for a couple days and I eventually brought up meeting for coffee or something. Haven't heard from her since. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Butcha Posted January 20, 2016 Share Posted January 20, 2016 So after about two years of no luck on a bunch of free dating sites, I bit the bullet and decided to give money to Match.com. Sent a bunch of messages out and got one response. We were chatting back and forth for a couple days and I eventually brought up meeting for coffee or something. Haven't heard from her since. Sounds like dating in 2016. cambionic and cfrancese5 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BuzzersonKillwell Posted January 20, 2016 Share Posted January 20, 2016 My plane takes me back to Kansas tomorrow and I'm just waiting for her to tell me not to go, but it hasn't happened. It sucks, knowing that there's only one person in this entire universe that you want to be with, but you can't be with them. You may choose to try and work things out with your partner and perhaps you'll reconcile and have a stronger union as a result. However, if this doesn't come to pass consider this my attempt to disabuse you of the romantic notion above. There are many, many people in the universe that you can find happiness with. Some you've yet to meet, maybe some you already know. I know this is a pragmatic approach but I've never gotten on board with the idea of a soul mate. You are compatible with lots of people. You can be happy with lots of people. You can and will be happy with someone else if that is how it has to be. Not tomorrow, maybe not in the immediate future. But it will happen, and when it does it will be as easy and fulfilling as anything you've had before. This probably isn't what you want to hear given this is all pretty raw. Take the time you need to process and heal but when you are ready someone out there is ready for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cfrancese5 Posted January 21, 2016 Share Posted January 21, 2016 So after about two years of no luck on a bunch of free dating sites, I bit the bullet and decided to give money to Match.com. Sent a bunch of messages out and got one response. We were chatting back and forth for a couple days and I eventually brought up meeting for coffee or something. Haven't heard from her since. It's such a shit show out there my friend. No one can make any sense out of it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Team Avatar Posted January 21, 2016 Share Posted January 21, 2016 I was able to meet up with a lot of people in the 2 years I had tinder and for the last few months OKC. (i deleted them now since I found out that I am indeed able to meet people in person if I go out more often lol). They kind of worked for me but I didn't feel connections with most of the people I talked to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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