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MAN ADVICE v2.0


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so since the new year I've been talking to someone quite a lot. We text all the time, hang out a ton ( this week 5x although mostly at night ) and are really couple-y when we are together. She's introduced me to most of her friends (and vice versa) and I've met her mom and all that.

from the very beginning she's stressed that this was just sexual, that we would never ever date, etc, and I agreed, like what else am I supposed to say? ( at that time, and maybe even now, that's what I want ).

maybe a month and a half ago I had asked her what she was doing and she told me hanging out with some boy. It devastated me despite me really trying hard not to care. I wasn't surprised. We ended up talking about it and I explained to her how I don't want us to stop talking and being cute and I just don't want to know what she is doing.

She constantly tells me to talk to other girls, but when I'm not hanging out with her I don't want to spend time with other people. I do text other people and I re-downloaded tinder just so I could try and feel less alone when I know she's hanging out with other guys ( even tho she doesn't tell me now, it's pretty obvious ). I have hung out with other girls and hooked up with a couple since New Years but I feel dirty and as if I'm doing something wrong. I also don't like potentially leading on other girls ( but I should probably be upfront about the situation ).

On Friday she was really drunk and told me she loved me 100x and also cried a ton and wouldn't tell me why. Her friend told me that she had said that she was crying because she didn't want to hurt me but doesn't want to feel like her freedom is being taken away. She denied everything when I talked to her about it though, which doesn't surprise me.

soo long story short -

how do I let myself not get bothered that she sometimes hooks up with other guys?? ( its mostly only one guy, who creeps me the fuck out. its her shitty tattoo artist who is like 14 years older than her and absolutely obsessed with her )

I don't know want what we're doing to end anytime soon but I don't want to sit alone at night and be sad either.

I've been in this exact situation. I dealt with it through irresponsible drug use and other acts of self harm. Probably don't do that.

At a certain point you're going to have to ask yourself if having her in your life is worth the bullshit and how it makes you feel.

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and re my earlier post:

 

like last night I knew she was with someone else, and I guess it didn't bother me as much as it could have, but of course I couldn't sleep. Like i've been running on like 5 hours of sleep so I should have passed tf out at 1:00 but I woke up like 20 minutes later and throughout the night.

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and re my earlier post:

 

like last night I knew she was with someone else, and I guess it didn't bother me as much as it could have, but of course I couldn't sleep. Like i've been running on like 5 hours of sleep so I should have passed tf out at 1:00 but I woke up like 20 minutes later and throughout the night.

 

Honestly, if it is affecting you that emotionally and physically you should just end it, move on and find someone else. Doesn't seem like it's worth all of the stress.

 

 

Got engaged to my girlfriend of 7 years last week.

It's alright.

 

Congrats! I've been engaged for about 2 months now and I get the "it's alright" part. There is a lot of shit to do and plan, but enjoy all the free stuff that's about to come your way. Hit up some venue open houses. Free drinks, food, discounted shit. Make the most of it!

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soo long story short -

how do I let myself not get bothered that she sometimes hooks up with other guys?? 

 

either be a total bro and start tagging some other poon or end things with her cold turkey and move on. her feels are more important to her than yours are. it's normal to be bothered when the person you like is shagging their creepy tattoo artist freak nasty. the fact that it bothers you is a good indicator that those kind of lifestyle choices might not be your thing.

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There's also a possibility she's afraid of commitment so she's trying to create some distance. If you only want to be with her, let her know. High possibility it will be the end of things, but you need to be honest to both her and yourself. It's clearly affecting you and if you try to be "ok" with it you'll just end up hurting yourself.

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Find it funny that "no complications" almost always gets really complicated unless you are talking about one night stands.

 

We aren't built to hang with someone a lot, have sex with them, share our whats going on in our lives, and not have some chemistry kick off in our brains that makes things complicated.

 

It seems a lot less complicated to just date normally.

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Find it funny that "no complications" almost always gets really complicated unless you are talking about one night stands.

We aren't built to hang with someone a lot, have sex with them, share our whats going on in our lives, and not have some chemistry kick off in our brains that makes things complicated.

It seems a lot less complicated to just date normally.

I'll preface this by saying I'm very pro-internet dating. But this is definitely because of the internet and "fear of missing out." Before the internet, not just internet dating sites/apps, where could you meet people? Out at bars, at work, through friends, and shit like that. With the internet you have seemingly endless possibilities and people don't want to limit themselves because of who else might be out there.

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Congrats! I've been engaged for about 2 months now and I get the "it's alright" part. There is a lot of shit to do and plan, but enjoy all the free stuff that's about to come your way. Hit up some venue open houses. Free drinks, food, discounted shit. Make the most of it!

Congrats! Been engaged 9 months and we really getting heavy into the planning. It's stressful but an awesome ride

Thanks dudes! It's been a long time coming so it's awesome to be able to cross it off the list and not have to worry anymore. We've talked about it for a while so it just feels like a weight lifted off of the proverbial shoulder.

We are just gonna do an extremely small courthouse-type ceremony and have a party in someone's backyard sometime after, so the planning should be pretty straightforward and very minimal. Being my age and attending as many weddings as I have, I don't envy anybody who has had to plan any more beyond that.

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