MAN ADVICE v2.0

[cambionic]

Hahaha I wasn't making a cryptic post about myself.  I was commenting on all the shit going on in here.

[KennyFuckingPowers]

Hey all. Long time no see. So what the fuck do you do when a girl is terrible at texting? Met this girl at a show the other night, we hung out after the show, took the train back together then parted ways. She gave me her number over Instagram and we've been texting since. However she's fucking horrible at it. I usually stop talking to girls when they don't respond with anything that I can keep the conversation going or that just bore me. But for some reason I actually want to talk to this girl. How do you personally deal with this?

[Eliminator Jr.]

@KennyFuckingPowers Well, if you are interested in talking to her and getting to know her better, but texting is not the best means at it, ask her out! She might be more talkative in person and who know, the fact that she's horrible at texting doesn't mean she's not interested in talking to you. 

There's nothing to lose, I guess. If she turns out to not be interested in meeting you, then at least you can stop having these horrible conversations with her ;-)

[KennyFuckingPowers]

8 hours ago, Eliminator Jr. said:

@KennyFuckingPowers Well, if you are interested in talking to her and getting to know her better, but texting is not the best means at it, ask her out! She might be more talkative in person and who know, the fact that she's horrible at texting doesn't mean she's not interested in talking to you. 

There's nothing to lose, I guess. If she turns out to not be interested in meeting you, then at least you can stop having these horrible conversations with her ;-)

I asked to take her out the other night after we both parted ways and got home, however she has finals till Tuesday so I told her lets wait till after that because I know theres no chance a girl is going to hangout during finals week. So basically its just waiting it out until we hangout while trying to keep the interest there. 

[Bladewillisisdead]

That could also be why she's not really texting. Or she's not interested. I'd lean towards it being finals week though.

[WAXXX]

On 5/8/2016 at 1:31 AM, KennyFuckingPowers said:

So what the fuck do you do when a girl is terrible at texting? 

call her.

[The Butcha]

53 minutes ago, WAXXX said:

call her.

Agreed. Nothing beats hearing someones voice from time to time.

[marc32137]

Wow, it's been a while since this thread has been bumped. 

 

So at the end of June I connected with a girl on Coffee Meets Bagel. We chatted for a little bit and got along and then she tells me it was unfortunate we connected right then because she was leaving the state for a month for work (she's a marine biologist and was going to Washington state for research). So we kept a promise to stay in touch throughout her trip. We talked on the phone a few times and became Facebook/Instagram friends so we could both see what we were up to. 

So fast forward to last week. It had been a week since I had heard from her. She had told me ahead of time that the last week of her trip was gonna be a lot of late nights/crunch time for work and she wouldn't have a lot of time to be social so I understood that. Then all of a sudden I got a text from her saying she was back in Florida and that she didn't think it would work out between us. Mostly because she lives 30 miles away (although her job is closer to my town than hers) and we wouldn't have a lot of time to see each other with her work schedule. I'm not really sure if I believe her but I'm more bummed that the last month and a half led to nothing. She could've told me this weeks ago if she felt this way, right? Ugh. 

[jhook]

On 8/16/2016 at 9:29 AM, marc32137 said:

Wow, it's been a while since this thread has been bumped. 

 

So at the end of June I connected with a girl on Coffee Meets Bagel. We chatted for a little bit and got along and then she tells me it was unfortunate we connected right then because she was leaving the state for a month for work (she's a marine biologist and was going to Washington state for research). So we kept a promise to stay in touch throughout her trip. We talked on the phone a few times and became Facebook/Instagram friends so we could both see what we were up to. 

So fast forward to last week. It had been a week since I had heard from her. She had told me ahead of time that the last week of her trip was gonna be a lot of late nights/crunch time for work and she wouldn't have a lot of time to be social so I understood that. Then all of a sudden I got a text from her saying she was back in Florida and that she didn't think it would work out between us. Mostly because she lives 30 miles away (although her job is closer to my town than hers) and we wouldn't have a lot of time to see each other with her work schedule. I'm not really sure if I believe her but I'm more bummed that the last month and a half led to nothing. She could've told me this weeks ago if she felt this way, right? Ugh. 

 

 

Thats code for "I met someone else"

[marc32137]

50 minutes ago, jhook said:

 

 

Thats code for "I met someone else"

Quite possibly. She still hasn't unfriended me so we'll see if that's the case.

In other news, I started talking to another girl who just moved to my town from Birmingham. Just found out she occasionally tour manages for an alt/metal band so she immediately got more interesting.

[Bladewillisisdead]

21 hours ago, jhook said:

 

 

Thats code for "I met someone else"

This should just be the title of the thread

[Team Avatar]

man, how the fuck do people do the whole break up thing. i'm dying

Edited February 9, 2017 by Team Avatar

[Gumbo72203]

1 hour ago, Team Avatar said:

man, how the fuck do people do the whole break up thing. i'm dying

Can't put all your stock in another person, man.  Gotta be good on your own, to be able to give someone else the best of you. 

 

I believe you should never give another person agency over your emotional state. 

[Shelby]

1 hour ago, Team Avatar said:

man, how the fuck do people do the whole break up thing. i'm dying

Drugs

[Team Avatar]

unfortunately i'm straight edge, shelbs.

 

and gumbo, I totally agree with that.  I feel like i've been relying on other people to feel emotional stable for the entirety of my adult existence.  I don't know what to do.

[Gumbo72203]

Just now, Team Avatar said:

unfortunately i'm straight edge, shelbs.

 

and gumbo, I totally agree with that.  I feel like i've been relying on other people to feel emotional stable for the entirety of my adult existence.  I don't know what to do.

You say fuck it, and be awesome on your own.  People flock to the dudes who do awesome shit because it's quite simply what they want their life to be like.

 

Get your hobbies, go to your places.  Create your own awesome life that fulfills you, and you will attract people that will enrich that fulfillment.  Fuck relying on other people for happiness and fulfillment.  People suck.  Be awesome on your own. 

 

They're just a person.  They have flaws, and aren't perfect.  there are MILLIONS of other people out there.  Millions.  I don't believe there is "the one".  You have many, many compatible mates. 

 

So quit your sulking, and do something awesome tomorrow!

[Tommy]

Gumbo speaks 100% truth

[Team Avatar]

i appreciate the enthusiasm!  i will try to do something awesome today.  the foot of snow should help!

[Gumbo72203]

39 minutes ago, Team Avatar said:

i appreciate the enthusiasm!  i will try to do something awesome today.  the foot of snow should help!

Ample opportunity to go sledding and post pictures on Facebook!

 

Remember, you need stories.  Your life needs to be one to be told to other people.  When you are the one who has "things going on", people want to be a part of those things.  They want to feel included.  The great people are the ones who make things happen on their own because they have that creative engine inside them that makes them want to DO.  Everybody wants to be a part of something that's going on.  So, one of the greatest ways to attract females is to be a dude who has awesome shit going on. 

 

So, go sledding.  Invite friends!  Make an event!  Then it becomes a great story to recount, and that is an attractive quality.  Someone who sits home and watches Netflix all night and doesn't go out and do things has no stories.  What are you going to tell a girl, "Yeah I watched Blacklist last night again."  No, that's fucking boring.  You don't talk about Netflix. 

You go sledding when there is 8 inches of snow.  You go snowboarding.  You have your friend slowly pull you behind a car on a tube on a deserted road.  Something, anything! 

 

The trick is to make girls want to weasel their way into your awesome life.  You don't want to be the one clawing and scheming to try to weasel your way into THEIR life, because you've just given them all the power because you've said "Hey, you are way more interesting than me and I'm desperate to be a part of your life."  Make them be desperate to be a part of YOUR life.  Flip the power.  Become desirable. 

 

 

This is all about attraction, man.  I met my current girlfriend at a concert.  I went to Dark Tranquility/Sonata Arctica on Election Day with my best friend and my brother.  Ended up meeting a girl from an hour south of here, she gave me her number.  We date now.  You don't make life happen by sitting inside your house.  You have to get out in the world, and do things.  Insert yourself into society.  That's how you meet people, and get things happening. 

 

But it all starts with today.  Don't let today pass without doing something!

[The Butcha]

Gumbo coming in clutch. Good advice my dude.

[Gumbo72203]

37 minutes ago, The Butcha said:

Gumbo coming in clutch. Good advice my dude.

When I'm not trying to push buttons and be deliberately outrageous, I like to think I have a lot of good insight

 

 

Especially with this shit, because I was there.  When my long-time girlfriend dumped me back in 2011, I was a mess.  I said "never again" to ever letting another person be the controlling arbiter of my psyche and the determining factor of how I felt about myself, my happiness, or my life.  I'm good on my own.  And you need to be.

 

Because chicks don't want to date some wiener dude who is so emotionally unstable and needy.  Girls want a man.  You also need to be sensitive, and understanding, but there's a big difference between a sensitive man and a guy who texts a girl 49 times a day because he's insecure about their relationship. 

 

 

Edited February 9, 2017 by Gumbo72203

[Tommy]

Attraction is the key. As someone who just went through a separation with my wife and turned it around I can tell you I have done countless hours of research on the subject and Gumbo just nailed all of it. You have to be on control of your own happiness and your own life in order to truly be able to satisfy another. Go do cool shit and be happy with the man you are and will be. The rest will come

[nancy_raygun]

Just because I feel differently, I'll say, doing stuff is lame.  My wife and I are codependent losers who never leave the house, except to go to work.  We come home every night, get drunk, listen to punk records, smoke cigarettes, then get high and play old video games or watch TV.  It's the best and I highly suggest it.  Outside and meeting people/having friends is way overrated when you can just be emotionally dependent on an angry feminist who knows how to mix cocktails.

[Oblivions]

19 minutes ago, Tommy said:

Attraction is the key. As someone who just went through a separation with my wife and turned it around I can tell you I have done countless hours of research on the subject and Gumbo just nailed all of it. You have to be on control of your own happiness and your own life in order to truly be able to satisfy another. Go do cool shit and be happy with the man you are and will be. The rest will come

Yep. We each send off a silent signal to those around us and the more active, self-content, and accomplished you are, the more inviting that signal is. If you are actively working on goals that matter to you (the goals can be ANYTHING!) and you are interacting with the outside world from a place of giving and collaborating rather than demanding/needing, you will send off a positive signal and attract people who are also kicking butt in their own lives.

Easier said than done but, if you are in the dumps with dating or career or life in general, my best advice is to let go of the idea that everything is fine and its just women/men/the world who are keeping you down and go get help. Seeing a therapist was the best thing I've ever done. I shudder to think where I'd be today if I was still that self-aggrandized yet hyper-insecure 23 year old who thought I should be lauded with attention, respect, honors and love even though all I did all day was stew in my self-aggrandizing yet hyper-insecure thoughts.

[Gumbo72203]

47 minutes ago, nancy_raygun said:

Just because I feel differently, I'll say, doing stuff is lame.  My wife and I are codependent losers who never leave the house, except to go to work.  We come home every night, get drunk, listen to punk records, smoke cigarettes, then get high and play old video games or watch TV.  It's the best and I highly suggest it.  Outside and meeting people/having friends is way overrated when you can just be emotionally dependent on an angry feminist who knows how to mix cocktails.

Hey man, sometimes this works for some people.  If you are both truly happy and fulfilled with this existence, then that's totally fine! 

47 minutes ago, richardsurf said:

Yep. We each send off a silent signal to those around us and the more active, self-content, and accomplished you are, the more inviting that signal is. If you are actively working on goals that matter to you (the goals can be ANYTHING!) and you are interacting with the outside world from a place of giving and collaborating rather than demanding/needing, you will send off a positive signal and attract people who are also kicking butt in their own lives.

Easier said than done but, if you are in the dumps with dating or career or life in general, my best advice is to let go of the idea that everything is fine and its just women/men/the world who are keeping you down and go get help. Seeing a therapist was the best thing I've ever done. I shudder to think where I'd be today if I was still that self-aggrandized yet hyper-insecure 23 year old who thought I should be lauded with attention, respect, honors and love even though all I did all day was stew in my self-aggrandizing yet hyper-insecure thoughts.

Well-said!  You nailed it with the signalling.