Team Avatar Posted June 8, 2014 Share Posted June 8, 2014 her: I just don't care for relationships whatsoever I am so bad at them me: I am aware of that first hand her: I am sorry other things she said her: I don't mind hanging out. I just take most things seriously and don't like to leave things lingeringher: I like to know what I am with someoneher: relationships really bother me, but they give you bounds. AKA what the heck. I think we'll hang out again at least but yeahhhhhhhhh drama Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Out of Breath Records Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 So my girlfriend just got off work (she's a barista). And she told me that some guy who keeps coming to get a drink and always invites her to see his band play at some club, but it's 18+ , hugged her and kissed her on the neck today. She's 16, and this guy is older obviously (not sure of his exact age, but probably in 20s) and he told her she would be the first person he would tell if he played an all ages show. I am not sure if I should be allowed to be upset at this or not. I think it's pretty presumptive of him to violate her personal space at her workplace like that, and if I had been there I would've probably given him a stern talking to. Not sure if I'm overreacting though, my girl doesn't seem too bothered by it though she was made uncomfortable obviously. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seangj Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 So my girlfriend just got off work (she's a barista). And she told me that some guy who keeps coming to get a drink and always invites her to see his band play at some club, but it's 18+ , hugged her and kissed her on the neck today. She's 16, and this guy is older obviously (not sure of his exact age, but probably in 20s) and he told her she would be the first person he would tell if he played an all ages show. I am not sure if I should be allowed to be upset at this or not. I think it's pretty presumptive of him to violate her personal space at her workplace like that, and if I had been there I would've probably given him a stern talking to. Not sure if I'm overreacting though, my girl doesn't seem too bothered by it though she was made uncomfortable obviously. If she told him that she had a boyfriend, then the kiss is strange. So is the fact that he is knowingly hitting on a 16 year old if he is in his 20s. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Out of Breath Records Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 If she told him that she had a boyfriend, then the kiss is strange. So is the fact that he is knowingly hitting on a 16 year old if he is in his 20s. Update, actually I got 2 facts wrong. He's a magician, not a musician. And he's in his 30s not his 20s. Also, she didn't tell him she has a boyfriend, and I also feel that she shouldn't have to for him to just be a respectful customer and not a creepy prick. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seangj Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 Update, actually I got 2 facts wrong. He's a magician, not a musician. And he's in his 30s not his 20s. Also, she didn't tell him she has a boyfriend, and I also feel that she shouldn't have to for him to just be a respectful customer and not a creepy prick. The red sums it up Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
billya Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 Maybe she should tell him to do a magic trick and disappear. Out of Breath Records and controlthebleeding 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Out of Breath Records Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 Maybe she should tell him to do a magic trick and disappear. +1 that was good Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoneyFrosted Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 kissed her on the neck Dude. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Out of Breath Records Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 Dude. Hey man I think it's weird, but apparently I am overreacting (girlfriend's words) to think so. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tarzioo_ Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 Hey man I think it's weird, but apparently I am overreacting (girlfriend's words) to think so. In my experience, some customers mistake friendliness for flirting and she has to very clearly let him know she's not interested in any kind of touching. You can talk to him but she has to be the one to ultimately do it. But that's just my experience and that may not be worth much. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Out of Breath Records Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 In my experience, some customers mistake friendliness for flirting and she has to very clearly let him know she's not interested in any kind of touching. You can talk to him but she has to be the one to ultimately do it. But that's just my experience and that may not be worth much. Yeah I feel ya, but it seems she doesn't think that way at all and is apparently fine with it and I am the weird one for thinking that that was inappropriate, so there's that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
circuit bored records Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 Even outside of her relationship in which she is supposed to be committed to you (which adds a whole other level of weird), if a 16 year old chick doesn't think it's inappropriate for a random 30+ year old customer to kiss her on the neck while she's working, she's got some issues. Either that or she's into it and inviting that kind of behavior. Either way, I'd head for the hills bro. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Out of Breath Records Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 Even outside of her relationship in which she is supposed to be committed to you (which adds a whole other level of weird), if a 16 year old chick doesn't think it's inappropriate for a random 30+ year old customer to kiss her on the neck while she's working, she's got some issues. Either that or she's into it and inviting that kind of behavior. Either way, I'd head for the hills bro. We actually got in a huge argument about this with me not understanding why she didn't say anything, and is inviting that kind of shit by not saying anything. I mean if he's not getting a no, then he's basically getting a yes (or at least thinks he is) I'm accepting your flirtatious behavior, and thus reciprocating it in some way? She said it happened so fast she felt awkward, and she isn't the type to speak up about it, so she didn't tell him she had a boyfriend, or that that was inappropriate. She thinks I'm blaming her as the victim, and I'm not trying to, but I'm trying to make her understand that logic of "if it's not a no, then it's a yes (to him)". Like shit, you're going to lead this guy on and he might try for even more next time who knows, and this sick dude is like 30, who knows what he'll do if she continues allowing this to happen and she eventually says no. That Elliot Rodger dude killed people for less. Then when I explained that to her she told me she isn't some passive little girl, and she can take care of herself but the evidence is clearly not pointing at that. So I honestly don't know what to say about this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Princess Logan Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 What a fucking ass. If a dude I rarely knew kissed me on the neck and invaded my space/rights like that, I would punch him in the jugular. That's sexual harassment. Second, a female should not have to tell a male that she has a boyfriend in order for him to respect that she's not interested. Third, what the hell kind of magician has 18+ shows? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bladew1ll1s1sdead Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 Third, what the hell kind of magician has 18+ shows? spoon, llamaface, Team Avatar and 2 others 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jase Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 This is why adults(18+) don't date children(16yo). Firstly, it's weird as fuck. Sure it's only two years. And i'm not sure about the laws in america. But here, that's statutory rape. Dump the child,move on to adults. Quit playing childish games. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bladew1ll1s1sdead Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 This is why adults(18+) don't date children(16yo). Firstly, it's weird as fuck. Sure it's only two years. And i'm not sure about the laws in america. But here, that's statutory rape. Dump the child,move on to adults. Quit playing childish games. One, The laws are state to state. Two, that's not even a big gap in age and is perfectly acceptable here. Where I am 16 is age of consent so not shit can be done about it. I lived that life. I was 17 and she was 14. It ended when I was 18 and she was 15. We met through school and I thought she was older than I was. She was 6'0 at 14. Third, you just don't understand the age thing and that's fine because a lot of people do not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jase Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 17 and 14??? Nahhhh, you're right hey. I don't understand it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bladew1ll1s1sdead Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 The was a period of time when I was 16 when we first met. Our birthdays were 7-8 months apart. And like I said, she was taller than I was and didn't act like a freshman. It was a weird period in my life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bladew1ll1s1sdead Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 Definitely not as bad as one of my friends. Twenty years old and his girlfriend just turned 16. He will be 21 before the year is over. America is fucking weird man. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Out of Breath Records Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 One, The laws are state to state. Two, that's not even a big gap in age and is perfectly acceptable here. Where I am 16 is age of consent so not shit can be done about it. I lived that life. I was 17 and she was 14. It ended when I was 18 and she was 15. We met through school and I thought she was older than I was. She was 6'0 at 14. Third, you just don't understand the age thing and that's fine because a lot of people do not. I'm 18 and she's 16, she's been homeschooled and just graduated and starts college this fall. We've been together for a 13 months, and a lot of people think it's weird but a 2 year age gap isn't shit, especially since we're both out of high school. It's a different thing when you've got a 6th grader and a sophomore dating. (11 and 15), but the age thing isn't really the issue. She has been a wonderful girlfriend, but it's just this thing that I can't seem to deal with. Literally thought of this too btw. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Out of Breath Records Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 What a fucking ass. If a dude I rarely knew kissed me on the neck and invaded my space/rights like that, I would punch him in the jugular. That's sexual harassment. Second, a female should not have to tell a male that she has a boyfriend in order for him to respect that she's not interested. Third, what the hell kind of magician has 18+ shows? Yeah, I don't know she grew up around 5 older brothers and a bit of a tomboy so I feel like that may have something to do with her not understanding the severity of what that guy did. Also I totally agree, it shouldn't be mandatory, but if it works it works. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caninesapien Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 Did she tell her manager about it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Out of Breath Records Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 Did she tell her manager about it? Don't think so. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Princess Logan Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 Naawww, if someone tried to do that to me and wouldn't leave me alone, I wouldn't bother with the "I have a boyfriend" line. Why? Because I am not okay with the fact that some dude would only leave me alone because he respects another man more than my personal space. I would have 0 problems getting management or the cops involved for sexual harassment. I have a voice and god damn, you will listen to it. That's what your girlfriend needs to get out of this situation. tarzioo_, controlthebleeding, fluxxy and 2 others 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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