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6 hours ago, nancy_raygun said:

To me it just sounds like you like the drama.  Or you like being the "mature" one since you're older.  Or maybe she's really hot and gives it up easy.  Because if what you're saying is true, a rational person would have bailed a long while back. 

 

So I'm wary of your motives here, Gumbo.  Because most dudes in their late 20s/early 30s wouldn't string along an "immature" "bipolar" younger woman struggling through college.  That's kind of fucked up.

 

But, hey, maybe you're just blowing off steam.  Or maybe you're making it all up to boost that post count.

Stay with someone because you love them and want to make it work but don't stay with someone out of pity. That's neither helpful for you or them. I wish you clarity and chillness in this situation.

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Things used to be so much easier when I was younger. Usually it took about 2 weeks for a carrier pidgeon to deliver the letter, so there never was pressure to answer immediately.

This won't work for everyone but...get banned from VC for making threats to other members, come back immediately under a fake persona of a Russian scene kid whose dream is to backpack to the United St

This post suggests that you are a very happy individual in a healthy relationship with zero insecurities.  I completely believe that you are not secretly miserable.

1 hour ago, Gumbo72203 said:

lol i wish I was making it up.  I mean....  I think you might have something with the mature card.  Being able to be the grounded one, trying to be someone's stablizing force....   I think that's not a bad read. 

 

I just feel bad leaving now because that's what my long-term girlfriend did years ago when I had the same situation go on.  I wouldn't say I'm stringing her along...  I care about her, and want this to work, because it should.  Maybe I'm experiencing that phenomena where you like the idea of someone, but not the actual someone.  Because she checks off all the boxes with things I want... I mean, she has a damn Belphegor shirt, she's seen Morbid Angel, we met at a Dark Tranquility show, she likes GIAA....  

There are other girls who like metal. There are other girls who aren't into metal. Some compatibility with music/movies/books/podcasts?/memes? is important, but not as important as some people seem to think. 

 

My girlfriend and I can chill and listen to Metal Machine Music or Merzbow. But if I put on like Converge or These Arms are Snakes she rolls her eyes and makes the jerk off motion. She'll still go to shows and get in the pit with me, because it's what I'm into. 

 

But the strength of a relationship has nothing to do with liking the same bands. Honestly, it's more important that you hate a lot of the same bands. I've dated a lot of people who liked bands I thought were garbage...but I know I could never be in a relationship with someone who didn't hate Phish. Who I am as a person would not be compatible with someone into that kinda thing.

 

Maybe when she says she doesn't want to be with you she's just lashing out. Maybe it's how she really feels bubbling to the surface. Either way, it doesn't sound healthy for either of you.

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59 minutes ago, Bladewillisisdead said:

There are other girls who like metal. There are other girls who aren't into metal. Some compatibility with music/movies/books/podcasts?/memes? is important, but not as important as some people seem to think. 

 

My girlfriend and I can chill and listen to Metal Machine Music or Merzbow. But if I put on like Converge or These Arms are Snakes she rolls her eyes and makes the jerk off motion. She'll still go to shows and get in the pit with me, because it's what I'm into. 

 

But the strength of a relationship has nothing to do with liking the same bands. Honestly, it's more important that you hate a lot of the same bands. I've dated a lot of people who liked bands I thought were garbage...but I know I could never be in a relationship with someone who didn't hate Phish. Who I am as a person would not be compatible with someone into that kinda thing.

 

Maybe when she says she doesn't want to be with you she's just lashing out. Maybe it's how she really feels bubbling to the surface. Either way, it doesn't sound healthy for either of you.

As usual, pure unadulterated gold. Take heed, @Gumbo72203

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10 hours ago, GOTCHA said:

I enjoy reading your drama because my marriage is so enjoyable and normal.  Please stay in this relationship and keep posting.  You deserve each other.  

This post suggests that you are a very happy individual in a healthy relationship with zero insecurities.  I completely believe that you are not secretly miserable.

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2 hours ago, Derek™ said:

This post suggests that you are a very happy individual in a healthy relationship with zero insecurities.  I completely believe that you are not secretly miserable.

While I appreciate your presumptuous post, you are incorrect.  Most of what I read in here is total shit show material, and I enjoy it.  It's sad and hilarious, all wrapped up into one thread.  Who needs soap operas when you have a VC relationship thread?  The only thing missing is Thomas rolling in here with his hypochondria while having a relationship issue.  I pine for that day.  

 

Good luck with your long distance relationship, I'm sure it will work out just fine since you're such a stand up chap.

 

Please, post some more so you can try to push for an argument over the internet, which is clearly what you were aiming for with your last punchy post.

 

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you are
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5 minutes ago, GOTCHA said:

While I appreciate your presumptuous post, you are incorrect.  Most of what I read in here is total shit show material, and I enjoy it.  It's sad and hilarious, all wrapped up into one thread.  Who needs soap operas when you have a VC relationship thread?  The only thing missing is Thomas rolling in here with his hypochondria while having a relationship issue.  I pine for that day.  

 

Good luck with your long distance relationship, I'm sure it will work out just fine since you're such a stand up chap.

 

Please, post some more so you can try to push for an argument over the internet, which is clearly what you were aiming for with your last punchy post.

I'm actually kid of surprised you follow this thread so closely.  I get that you're really wrapped up in the lives of strangers on the internet, but please go back to managing your eBay listings and talking shit about your neighbor's wife so you can get your clock cleaned the fuck out.  As a firm advocate of karma, I legitimately cannot wait for you to get what's coming to you.

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1 hour ago, Derek™ said:

I'm actually kid of surprised you follow this thread so closely.  I get that you're really wrapped up in the lives of strangers on the internet, but please go back to managing your eBay listings and talking shit about your neighbor's wife so you can get your clock cleaned the fuck out.  As a firm advocate of karma, I legitimately cannot wait for you to get what's coming to you.

I don't follow closely, just a skim through to enjoy the drama of people who post so openly about personal shit on the internet. It's fantastic.

 

I do find it hilarious that you can't find someone local to date and have to drive and hour and a half to be in a "relationship".    Speaks volumes of what women think of you locally.  

 

Hilarious how charged up you dorks have gotten over my comments.  Especially Derek.  I enjoy when Derek gets extra charged up, throws karma is coming at you type statements, and can't move on with his day without responding.....multiple times.  Totally rules.  Also, thanks for checking out my EBay listings and keeping an eye on them.  Shocked you follow them so closely.  

 

 

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That's very astute of you – I think I made one post in this entire thread mentioning the fact I live an hour and a half away from the girl I'm dating.  I'm not sure if I should be impressed or appalled by your dedication to personal detail.  Since you enjoy logging VC lives in your journal at home, you can probably refer to your prior scoop on me and discover that I live in the middle of fuck-all nowhere, Northern California.  (Refer to the time you threatened to make a detour from your Cali vacation to pay me a visit and beat me to a pulp, or whatever equally cringe shit you posted on one of your various old accounts.)  Not that you genuinely care, but I don't date local because the whole "farmer girl" thing isn't for me, personally.  You're going to have to try a lot harder to live up to that username to GET ME.

 

Since you keep returning to this thread, can you at least give some actual advice?  Like how you managed to trick another human being into tying the knot with a bitter, inept degenerate like yourself?  I bet that's a story worth reading.  My full sympathies to your wife and the horse shit she has to deal with on a daily basis.

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6 minutes ago, Derek™ said:

That's very astute of you – I think I made one post in this entire thread mentioning the fact I live an hour and a half away from the girl I'm dating.  I'm not sure if I should be impressed or appalled by your dedication to personal detail.  Since you enjoy logging VC lives in your journal at home, you can probably refer to your prior scoop on me and discover that I live in the middle of fuck-all nowhere, Northern California.  (Refer to the time you threatened to make a detour from your Cali vacation to pay me a visit and beat me to a pulp, or whatever equally cringe shit you posted on one of your various old accounts.)  Not that you genuinely care, but I don't date local because the whole "farmer girl" thing isn't for me, personally.  You're going to have to try a lot harder to live up to that username to GET ME.

 

Since you keep returning to this thread, can you at least give some actual advice?  Like how you managed to trick another human being into tying the knot with a bitter, inept degenerate like yourself?  I bet that's a story worth reading.  My full sympathies to your wife and the horse shit she has to deal with on a daily basis.

You so mad, bro.

 

I'm actually in CA right now.  You should drive down and we'll hang out.  Sound good?  

 

I'll stop responding.  It's the internet, you let this really get to you.  It's funny.  You're actually explaining yourself to me, like I care?  I see you're super fired up and passionate and won't stop until you feel like you've got the last word.  I'll let you have it.  You win, Derek.  You win.  Now get in the car and make the drive to see that gal pal instead of wasting time on a Saturday responding to posts on the internets, dummy.

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6 minutes ago, GOTCHA said:

You so mad, bro.

 

I'm actually in CA right now.  You should drive down and we'll hang out.  Sound good?  

 

I'll stop responding.  It's the internet, you let this really get to you.  It's funny.  You're actually explaining yourself to me, like I care?  I see you're super fired up and passionate and won't stop until you feel like you've got the last word.  I'll let you have it.  You win, Derek.  You win.  Now get in the car and make the drive to see that gal pal instead of wasting time on a Saturday responding to posts on the internets, dummy.

GIVE ME YOUR FUCKING ADDRESS RIGHT NOW BRO LET'S DO THIS I DON'T GIVE A FUCK JUST PICK A TIME AND A PLACE YOU PIECE OF SHIT I WILL EQUALIZE YOU.

 

But really.

 

s_IOq5w9.gif

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11 minutes ago, Derek™ said:

GIVE ME YOUR FUCKING ADDRESS RIGHT NOW BRO LET'S DO THIS I DON'T GIVE A FUCK JUST PICK A TIME AND A PLACE YOU PIECE OF SHIT I WILL EQUALIZE YOU.

 

But really.

 

s_IOq5w9.gif

Ahhhh typical Derek.  Always ending some no backbone statement with a meme.

Hit me up with a PM if you wanna roll down for a beer.  Otherwise, seriously, go take out some of your angst by making the drive and throw a pounding to your gal pal.  Unless....she doesn't exist and is just deflated under your bed waiting for an inflating.

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Well that escalated quickly.  People are so funny sometimes. 

 

As far as my situation, haven't talked much since Friday night...  I need time to figure out what I feel/want to do.  It sucks, because I really wanted this to work.  She fits.  But...  perhaps we don't line up so much as I thought.  Pretty sure the "i don't want a relationship" stuff is just her lashing out, trying to instigate.... she's repeatedly told me all the dudes she's been with have been shitty, so I think she's used to having to throw up defenses and fight and make it difficult.  I don't engage that nonsense haha. 

 

So, I don't know.  I'm very displeased that she was lying to me.  That might be the deal-breaker.  I'm far from perfect, and have gone through similar struggles, so I can relate and empathize and that's why I don't judge her for that.  But to lie about it, and not admit that you've struggling...  I don't know.  I get it, because it sucks and you're struggling and so you don't do things logically.  So how do you become mad at someone for that?  Is that really fair?  I'm not so sure, because I know that when I was struggling in school I WISH i had the strength to reach out and ask for help, but I didn't, because I was scared shitless and couldn't face it. 

 

But I think maybe I can't put my future on the line to be the savior for someone else....   a person can't fix someone else.  Only you can fix yourself. 

 

 

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