I almost pooped my pants...

[aarondltd]

Funny that I thought I might be the only one to respond to this when posting my story. Forgot what forum I was on I guess.

[batman]

I pooped on a handicap ramp next to a huge building in downtown Chicago. We ate deep dish pizza and everything was closed and the Metra station bathroom was locked. This was on a Sunday night and I feel really bad for whoever had to work there on Monday morning.

[FlippingOut]

i shit my pants when i was 17 while skateboarding in a mcdonalds parking lot

No coincidence there 

[abovetheearth]

coincides with the #2 value meal too

[FlippingOut]

coincides with the #2 value meal too

"I'm Lovin It"

[Dominic_]

When you make the conscious decision to shit in a porta-potty on a construction site in the Phoenix summer heat, you know that your lunch was a VERY VERY poor decision.  Never eat from a food truck that looks like it came straight out of 1967. 

 

Just a few months ago I ate some Ghost wings and when they want out, they don't wait.  Shit my pants at home.  I couldn't even make it from the couch to the bathroom before dropping my guts.  I spent the next hour in the bathroom hudled over like I was bracing for impact in a plane crash.  Ghost wings.  Never.  Again.  What was most embarassing was having to tell my wife why I just threw my clothes away and immediately took the trash out. 

 

You can smell these from like a block away. I always figured they hid dead bodies in them.

[SpazzyMcGee]

Posting so I can share later. Too many close calls..

[cats and bats]

my last poo pants situation happened last year.  i was on a conference call for work training my replacements and i thought i had to fart.  since i have a semi-colon (that's a whole different story), i should know better than to ever trust a fart.  anyways, i gave a little push and more than a fart came out.  and i wasn't wearing any underwear so i legit pooped in my pants.  i had to interrupt the call and pretend i had morning sickness from being pregs to get them to hold for a few mins while i ran to the bathroom to clean up.  thank goodness gracious i had an alibi and was working from home when it happened.  

[abovetheearth]

change your screen name to ;

omg please

also gave me a idea for a tshirt.

'NEVER TRUST A FART'

[Satan]

Best 3rd post I've seen. Bravo ma'am. Bravo.

[Bladewillisisdead]

I have never pooped my pants. At least not since I stopped wearing a diaper. Which is surprising because I have IBS.

[Rip]

Only time I ever recall pooping myself was when I was sick and I went to throw up and I was throwing up so hard I ended up pooping myself in the process.

That was probably at least 10 years ago though. I've had plenty of close calls though, but then again, don't we all?

[3arl]

I have never pooped my pants. At least not since I stopped wearing a diaper. Which is surprising because I have IBS.

 

you deserve a trophy

[Bladew1ll1s1sdead]

I have never pooped my pants. At least not since I stopped wearing a diaper. Which is surprising because I have IBS.

Your time is coming.

Had a VERY close call a couple weeks ago while sick and at the mall.

[TheGhostOfRandySavage]

I have never pooped my pants. At least not since I stopped wearing a diaper. Which is surprising because I have IBS.

brucewillisstillwearsdiapers.

[Zick]

i shit my pants when i was 17 while skateboarding in a mcdonalds parking lot

Pictured Dennis Eckersley saying this and can't stop laughing

[SpazzyMcGee]

So....to set the scene, I was running in a 10k in GA on the 4th of July. I believe the race started around 6 or 7 but you had to get there early yada yada. My girlfriend (soon to be wife) and I didn't know how to get there so we hitched a ride with two of her friends who were recently married. Turns out they had no clue either and kept calling their dad for directions.

Now, at this point I've forgotten to eat something and have only had coffee that morning and the rumblings begin, low and gurgling.

The more we're driving to find parking, the more I figure out we're probably going to park in a suburban area nowhere near a bathroom.

So we park and I'm having gut pains, concentrating holding it in and wondering if they'll still accept me if I crap in the bushes.

Again, the couple have to call their dad for directions and there are only houses for the next 8-10 miles (why we parked that far away, I'll never know).

I'm considering knocking on someone's door but the thought of walking anything but a straight line terrifies me.

It begins to rain and my concentration waivers, I can feel something trying to force it's way out. I've never held in something so powerful...then...I see it.....a house in this particular subdivision is being worked on and what's outside? A blue porta potty.
Forgetting I'm pinching to save my life, I start running towards it but it's too late.. By the time I get inside I'm practically ripping my shorts off and just aiming my butt inside and hoping I don't get any shrapnel on my hands.

My underwear was ruined so I left them there but my body had completely voided itself so need for the Hanes anyway..

[abovetheearth]

one thing odd about the crapped my pants thread, and I didn't expect it, but it has some beautifully written stories.

"...holding it in and wondering if they'll still accept me if I crap in the bushes."

awesome line

[nicole]

I've had many VERY close calls, but fortunately cannot contribute to this thread.

[QUA1L]

You can smell these from like a block away. I always figured they hid dead bodies in them.

 

Yah.  Terrible.  Worst shit of my entire life.  Dropping guts in my pants was a more pleasant experience than using that thing.  Imagine taking a deuce in a sauna, but with the smell of rotting meat so pungent that it could stagger an elephant.  The "art" that was also poorly drawn inside was super awesome too.  Some cartoon chick with massive tits riding what can only be described as the biggest, overly-veiny dick on planet earth.  If only cell-phones had cameras back then, it was snap worthy.  That poop will haunt me until I die.

[GalacticMelt]

Slightly off topic, but I hate pooping at work. However, sometimes it's fun because some schmuck will enter the stalls while he's on a conference call. He continues to talk while pooping. I usually try and make grunting noises and flush the toilet about 10 times so the rest of his phone audience can hear the excitement.

[Team Avatar]

I cannot talk on the phone while shitting if someone else is in the room.  I hate when I get phone calls in public restrooms.

[llamaface]

Yah. Terrible. Worst shit of my entire life. Dropping guts in my pants was a more pleasant experience than using that thing. Imagine taking a deuce in a sauna, but with the smell of rotting meat so pungent that it could stagger an elephant. The "art" that was also poorly drawn inside was super awesome too. Some cartoon chick with massive tits riding what can only be described as the biggest, overly-veiny dick on planet earth. If only cell-phones had cameras back then, it was snap worthy. That poop will haunt me until I die.

I love the crazy things people write/draw. It's always the most awful stuff, but it's usually so absurd that I can't help but laugh. My experiences are mostly from South Carolina, so I feel you on the heat and I'd reckon that the things I've read are from some of the worst people around.

[futures]

Slightly off topic, but I hate pooping at work. However, sometimes it's fun because some schmuck will enter the stalls while he's on a conference call. He continues to talk while pooping. I usually try and make grunting noises and flush the toilet about 10 times so the rest of his phone audience can hear the excitement.

 

my boss is ALWAYS on the phone while in the bathroom. unfortunately we have a single and its located right in the middle of the office so you can hear the whole conversation everytime

[llamaface]

my boss is ALWAYS on the phone while in the bathroom. unfortunately we have a single and its located right in the middle of the office so you can hear the whole conversation everytime

Awful. I guess it brings up the question of why is it acceptable to email or text or whatever while in the bathroom, but talking on the phone isn't? I just changed my stance. Everyone should be on a toilet all the time.