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So, I'm going to be a father in just a few weeks. It's my first time being a biological parent (I have an ex with a kid who's like 22 now...long story). Anyway, I'm genuinely seeking advice from millennial types like myself who know what it's like to be a parent for the first time. I don't really know what to expect. All I know is he's a male and he'll have a killer onesie  collection (so far we have "Appetite for Destruction" GNR, Bowie, and Bob Marley-still working on some of the punk ones). 

So, hit me, what do you have for guidance, advice, etc?

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I'm not a millennial, but a Gen X'er...but my kid's only 6.

 

Just remember that kid won't be a kid for long.

 

The first week she was home...it was awful for me. My wife couldn't help, long story, so I was handlin' all the business and at first I didn't handle it well at all. But the second week, she had started school...at least it seemed like it.

 

I can't believe my little one is 6.

 

The time will pass by more quickly than you can imagine.

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Congrats dude. I'm almost 31 with 2 girls (7 and 4) so I don't know much on the baby boy side but I would imagine with any kid, take LOTS of pictures, the time flies and if you have a shit memory like me, won't remember much from when they were a baby. Good luck!

Edited by KingTacoMunster
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I only have daughters, so I can't give father/son advice. Best tip I can pass along is just be honest with your kid. When he asks questions give him legitimate answers, and if you don't know just say so (or better yet find out together. My oldest (who just turned 10) and I have watched quite a few documentaries/YouTube videos together because she asked me something I knew nothing about and figured we could both benefit from learning about it). I grew up with religious parents who just told me God was responsible for everything, it sucked haha.

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A few things I've learned along the way (my boy is 6 and I'm 36):

Be as patient as humanly possible when they're a baby. You feel shitty for the rest of your life after telling a newborn to shut up when he/she won't stop crying (this is from personal experience).

Speaking of mistakes, realize, you'll make them. I beat myself up pretty hard at times. Then I'm reassured that I have a kind, caring, smart, funny, beautiful boy that makes me happy every day of my life.

Be supportive of your partner. Look up answers to questions, don't just ask because she had to figure out things with the baby. Go to doctor's appointments. Be able to an active parent so your lady can rely on you. This kiddo affects your relationship more than you know. So be a good helper.

Don't risk their life because of convenience. Always put them in the car seat. Until they're old enough to sit on just the booster. I hear reports more than I want of children dying in car accidents because they're not in car seats. It's real. Luckily I've never had to experience this.

Don't worry about what people say as far as 'baby instructions' or that kind of advice. People are trying to be helpful, but nobody can tell you what your child will exactly do. My son's mom and I heard "sleep when the baby sleeps." Guess what, kid didn't sleep for six months, LOL! That advice didn't work.

Don't spoil things for your kid. Whether you're religious or not, they'll eventually ask about God, magic, professional wrestling, the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus. You're not lying to them by letting them believe they're all real. My kid thinks magic is boring because I spoiled it for him. He has no interest. And while that's not terrible, I feel bad that I ruined something for him. Life ruins things for your children, don't be the source of your children's crushed dreams!

Edited by somethingvinyl
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Congarts, dude!

 

I became a father the first time 5.5 months ago...proud daddy of my lil boy!

It's a 180 degree life-changing event! Although I don't get too much sleep at the moment, I wouldn't change the situation for anything else in the world!

 

We're going on our first real holiday trip as a little family next monday! Really curious to see if the little man enjoys 5 weeks in Portugal! :)

 

edit:

One advise and I hope I'm treading on someone's toes: I hate it when people post pics of their babies e.g. on FB or anything similar. I'm as proud as one can be but my wife and I told ourselves to not post any pics of him on any social media shithole...so there's not a single picture of him anywhere on the net! (well, actually there is one in a thread here on VC where you can only see his hand holding my finger)...

Edited by Sasan
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7 hours ago, Sasan said:

Congarts, dude!

 

I became a father the first time 5.5 months ago...proud daddy of my lil boy!

It's a 180 degree life-changing event! Although I don't get too much sleep at the moment, I wouldn't change the situation for anything else in the world!

 

We're going on our first real holiday trip as a little family next monday! Really curious to see if the little man enjoys 5 weeks in Portugal! :)

 

edit:

One advise and I hope I'm treading on someone's toes: I hate it when people post pics of their babies e.g. on FB or anything similar. I'm as proud as one can be but my wife and I told ourselves to not post any pics of him on any social media shithole...so there's not a single picture of him anywhere on the net! (well, actually there is one in a thread here on VC where you can only see his hand holding my finger)...

I can totally see that. I personally don't mind doing it, but understand not. Unfortunately 99% of my family live hours upon hours away. So, they really like those posts and texts.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Random update:

Elliott is here and doing well. We're adjusting to lack of sleep and our schedule. I'm taking lots of pictures, helping out as much as possible, and being as patient as I can. I appreciate your advice and help. 

here we are, chilling out on Discogs (out of frame) 

https://goo.gl/photos/kTZbwb5nMrxZwnNp6

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I forget where I heard this...but always remember "this too shall pass."

 

That's for the good and the bad. 

 

My daughter is six now...my little ginger girl heated up her own pizza in the microwave the other week. She helps me cook. She plays sports. She can flip the records, turn on the TV, plays on her iPad and her Kindle (yes she has both.)...

 

When your kid is a baby, they imprint on you. Due to unforeseen circumstances, I had to do a lot more for the little one than expected. It took a toll on me, but she's daddy's girl. 

 

Remember this too...even when they're 1, 2, etc...they're far more perceptive than you think. There was a six month period when mine didn't ever want to play with me because I was in a bad headspace and I wasn't nice. As daddy, you're never allowed to be too tired or too sick...and you should never want to be.

 

I'm rambling now...I know.

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  • 3 weeks later...
  • 9 months later...

Update: kid's 10.5 months old. He's a normal baby (as much as one can be with me as a father). Thanks for all the advice so far. I'm no expert, but I think we're getting there. Here's a picture from our first record shopping trip 28168685_10204840092998267_2441080623238

Edited by Fowty Dollaz
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