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Official Simpsons Quote Thread


mattramone
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How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?

THAT"S BECAUSE YOU WERE DRUNK!

Scully: Homer, we're going to ask you a few simple yes or no questions. Do you understand?

Homer: Yes. (lie dectector blows up)

Homer: Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals ... except the weasel.

Ralph: Hi, Super Nintendo Chalmers!

Homer: I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman.

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There are soooo many....hmmmm....

"My daddy keeps a sandwich in his holster"

- Ralph Wiggum

Professor Frink: "As you can see, I have created a lemon ball so sour, it can only be safely contained in a magnetic field. The candy, known as 77X42....where the hell's the candy?"

Homer with mouth "imploded": "I-unno"

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Lou: You know, I went to the McDonald's in Shelbyville on Friday night.

Wiggum: The McWhat?

Lou: Uh, the McDonald's restaurant. I've never heard of it either, but they have over 2,000 locations in this state alone.

Eddie: Must've sprung up overnight.

Lou: You know, the funniest thing though, it's the little differences.

Wiggum: Example.

Lou: Well, at McDonald's you can buy a Krusty Burger with cheese, right? But they don't call it a Krusty Burger with cheese.

Wiggum: Get out! Well, what do they call it?

Lou: A Quarter Pounder with cheese.

Wiggum: Quarter Pounder with cheese? Well, I can picture the cheese, but, uh, do they have Krusty partially gelatinated non-dairy gum-based beverages?

Lou: Mm-hm. They call 'em, "shakes."

Eddie: Huh, shakes. You don't know what you're gettin'.

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homer: ahh, the last peanut. covered in the grease and salt of its departed brothers

*drops it, searches under couch, pulls out money*

homer: awww, 20 dollars, i wanted a peanut

homer's mind: 20 dollars can buy you lots of peanuts

homer: explain how

homer's mind: money can be exchanged for good and services

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homer: ahh, the last peanut. covered in the grease and salt of its departed brothers

*drops it, searches under couch, pulls out money*

homer: awww, 20 dollars, i wanted a peanut

homer's mind: 20 dollars can buy you lots of peanuts

homer: explain how

homer's mind: money can be exchanged for good and services

i love that one. especially since most of the time when the go to homer's brain it usually has nothing productive or hepful to say, and when they go to it visually its always cows dancing around a maypole or monkeys jumping around making a ton of noise.

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"to alcohol...the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems" ??

yeah, i think so as my brother has a beer mug with that on it...

Homer: [on phone] Yeah, Moe, that team sure did suck last night.

They just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but

they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.

Marge: Homer! Watch your mouth!

Homer: Aw, I gotta go. My damn weiner kids are listening. [hangs

up]

Lisa: We're not weiners!

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Marge trying to get Homer to go to NY: "Well of course you're going to have bad memories of New York if you only remember the pimps and the c.h.u.d.s."

guy on the tv: and if you're not into Chicken

homer: No No I'm into Chicken!

guy on tv: how about wild boar? or Swordfish? or hippo?

homer: mmm hippo

Trent Steel: Max Power great name

Homer/max: thanks I got it off a hair dryer

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