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MAN ADVICE


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Don't get me wrong I'm not going nuts about getting into a serious or really any relationship right now. The issue is that I am recently divorced after about 1 and a half years of being married and with the woman girl for a total of like 6 years. I'm really just trying to figure out how to get back out there after a long lapse of being out of the dating game. So far online dating has helped boost some self esteem and such for me. I've been on a few dates and some good some bad. It doesn't matter to me honestly.

Oh - there you go. i understand your case...when you are with someone for that length of time, it messes you up in a sense to you arent sure what to do. i was 19 when i got in the relationship, 26 when i got out. the way to meet someone and flirt, etc is so much different from being a teen to now. holy smokes.

best of luck to you brother in overcoming. it's a challenge - but keep in mind - it's for the best! bad days will come, but the good days are the best.

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i just don't go to bars, i don't have many friends to introduce me to women, and i work with 20 somethings who's idea of fun is getting fucked up and making out.. which in theory would be fun to most guys if that's all it was, but these girls (i'm still gonna call them girls since they dont carry the maturity level of women) have problems and tons of drama to go with it. you don't know how much crap i hear through the grapevine, since one of them is like the gretchen weiner of the store. its quite sad. luckily i keep my distance. so my options are limited. and the dating sites didn't work out so. it happens.

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I have an online profile because I do enjoy being single, but the idea of a relationship is not out of the question. So seein a brief profile on someone that hits me up allows me to say yay or nay to a cup of coffee. I'm an attractive, (mostly) non-crazy dude (minus the two cats), who just chooses to be less than proactive on the dating scene.

I've dated a lot of girls that hang out in the same spots I do, but they ended up being less than stellar, so now I need to branch out in ways that aren't me going to bars filled with Affliction shirts, bedazzled jeans, and the smell of desperation in the air.

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I guess for me personally I like to meet people right off the bat in real life, that way I instantly know if we have any kind of sexual chemistry. I can’t for the life of me understand someones personality through a text message, so I don’t want to waste time texting back and forth with someone only to meet them and be underwhelmed. I might be doomed.

I drunkenly made an ok cupid profile a while ago. Forgot about it until a few weeks later. When I checked it, I had a bunch of messages, but not one with any substance. It was just a lot of guys saying ‘ur hot’. One guy even got angry as to why I wasn’t writing him back. “AM I NOT YOUR TYPE OR ARE YOU JUST BUSY????? LETS SHOOT SOME POOL WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO LOSE” Other honorable mentions the guy who said he wanted to climb me like a tree and the guy who, after seeing we were only like 5 miles apart, said ‘you live there? I can ejaculate that far.” After that I gave up. I still check it every once in a while but it’s been nothing but creeps.

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I guess for me personally I like to meet people right off the bat in real life, that way I instantly know if we have any kind of sexual chemistry. I can’t for the life of me understand someones personality through a text message, so I don’t want to waste time texting back and forth with someone only to meet them and be underwhelmed. I might be doomed.

I drunkenly made an ok cupid profile a while ago. Forgot about it until a few weeks later. When I checked it, I had a bunch of messages, but not one with any substance. It was just a lot of guys saying ‘ur hot’. One guy even got angry as to why I wasn’t writing him back. “AM I NOT YOUR TYPE OR ARE YOU JUST BUSY????? LETS SHOOT SOME POOL WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO LOSE” Other honorable mentions the guy who said he wanted to climb me like a tree and the guy who, after seeing we were only like 5 miles apart, said ‘you live there? I can ejaculate that far.” After that I gave up. I still check it every once in a while but it’s been nothing but creeps.

i always wondered what men on okcupid wrote to women. i always made comments about their music preference or something i had some familiarity with. i never really made mention of them being attractive/beautiful for the sake that in my history it bites me in the ass. even when my thoughts are appropriate and sincere. and i never contacted them if they didn't respond. i think i got the hint the first time.

can't i just find a girl that will let me pee on her. is that too much to ask? (jk)

i seriously think it's my lack of not wanting to go camping or that i'm not a nature person that makes women not interested, along with the fact that i dont drink that often. and trying to get a women to go to a museum.. phhht. i'm a total party pooper. i'd rather go to a book store or talk about color schemes or music over coffee. but i refuse to have conversations with women about coldplay or the latest top 40 band.

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i always wondered what men on okcupid wrote to women. i always made comments about their music preference or something i had some familiarity with. i never really made mention of them being attractive/beautiful for the sake that in my history it bites me in the ass. even when my thoughts are appropriate and sincere. and i never contacted them if they didn't respond. i think i got the hint the first time.

can't i just find a girl that will let me pee on her. is that too much to ask? (jk)

i seriously think it's my lack of not wanting to go camping or that i'm not a nature person that makes women not interested, along with the fact that i dont drink that often. and trying to get a women to go to a museum.. phhht. i'm a total party pooper. i'd rather go to a book store or talk about color schemes or music over coffee. but i refuse to have conversations with women about coldplay or the latest top 40 band.

No girl online will admit that they're a sado who sits at home on netflix for 8 hours a day - they all claim to be "outdoorsy" and love nature. What a sham.

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every girl in my general area on any given dating site is either a hot hispanic mess, or a cute blonde who lOoOoOoOvEs *~country~*!!!!

and then if i were to expand my searches toward boston, there still doesnt seem to be much of a selection... thats what puzzles me.

and hey roadmonkey, why either of you is single shouldnt be a concern. theres usually a pretty personal answer behind that, and in these very early stages it doesnt need to be shared, unless its something immediately threatening to the situation.

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Looking for a little advice on what a girl means when she wants to "take it slow". I've been casually dating someone for about a month and a half now. We've been over each others places, mainly watched movies and had lunch/dinner either out or something I cooked. Two weeks or so in, when dropping her off I went in for a kiss and she kinda freaked, just said "not now" and basically went inside. Right when I got back to my place I had a flurry of text messages from her apologizing about it.

The next day we had lunch and she said nobody has ever been interested in her (which is quite shocking to me) and she'd like to take things slow. (I'm 21 and she's 22. I feel like that needs to be said.)

I just don't know what direction to go now. She's coming over my place tomorrow afternoon to see Drive and probably go to Chipotle. I'm really into her and don't want to blow it, but at the same time I would really like our relationship to progress.

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Looking for a little advice on what a girl means when she wants to "take it slow". I've been casually dating someone for about a month and a half now. We've been over each others places, mainly watched movies and had lunch/dinner either out or something I cooked. Two weeks or so in, when dropping her off I went in for a kiss and she kinda freaked, just said "not now" and basically went inside. Right when I got back to my place I had a flurry of text messages from her apologizing about it.

The next day we had lunch and she said nobody has ever been interested in her (which is quite shocking to me) and she'd like to take things slow. (I'm 21 and she's 22. I feel like that needs to be said.)

I just don't know what direction to go now. She's coming over my place tomorrow afternoon to see Drive and probably go to Chipotle. I'm really into her and don't want to blow it, but at the same time I would really like our relationship to progress.

this is the worst. i cant help but imagine how badly id blow this situation at your age. patience is such a cruel dick in this stage of things.

you may be real into her, but dont make it obvious or blatant that youre any more than just enjoying whats going on. stay casual, and refrain from being overbearing. if shes actually confused by a guy showing her interest, then it doesnt sound like you need to worry about someone else snatching her up in the mean time.

go on your dates, have fun. and when it comes time to make a move, just know how to pick your spot. it would be awesome if she were the one to make the move, as a means of making it up to you, but i think us guys can all agree that never fucking happens.

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this is the worst. i cant help but imagine how badly id blow this situation at your age. patience is such a cruel dick in this stage of things.

you may be real into her, but dont make it obvious or blatant that youre any more than just enjoying whats going on. stay casual, and refrain from being overbearing. if shes actually confused by a guy showing her interest, then it doesnt sound like you need to worry about someone else snatching her up in the mean time.

go on your dates, have fun. and when it comes time to make a move, just know how to pick your spot. it would be awesome if she were the one to make the move, as a means of making it up to you, but i think us guys can all agree that never fucking happens.

Sorry not to be a contrarian, but thats what my gf did haha. We were watching a movie, and she was the one that kissed me. As for the take it slow thing, do just that don't make any more kind of moves until she makes it clear that she's ready. It sucks, but if that's what she wants follow along, and it'll probably help you get closer as a couple.

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this is the worst. i cant help but imagine how badly id blow this situation at your age. patience is such a cruel dick in this stage of things.

you may be real into her, but dont make it obvious or blatant that youre any more than just enjoying whats going on. stay casual, and refrain from being overbearing. if shes actually confused by a guy showing her interest, then it doesnt sound like you need to worry about someone else snatching her up in the mean time.

go on your dates, have fun. and when it comes time to make a move, just know how to pick your spot. it would be awesome if she were the one to make the move, as a means of making it up to you, but i think us guys can all agree that never fucking happens.

funny thing is it happened to me once. one of my last girlfriends did this. we all met up for drinks and she gave me a ride. we had hung out before just as friends. i never thought she'd be interested in me, so i just thought we were pals. so on the way home it's pouring. she drops me off and i go inside to dry off. 5 minutes later i hear a knock on the door and she's fuckin' soaked from the rain. she just threw herself on me and started making out with me and told me she's been meaning to tell me how much she likes me. we just layed on the couch soaked for about an hour talking until she had to leave.

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well, the girl i briefly dated back in the winter made the first move, and i wasnt exactly thrilled about it. we'd already hung out a couple times, and gone on a date, and then she invited me to meet up at the bar after her christmas party. well she was absolutely hammered, and just started making out with me on the dance floor. part of me was all "wooo! effortless!" but the rest of me was bummed knowing there was something there and the whole "soo this is how we're starting?"

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I tend to make the first move far too often, generally a kiss on the second date. The problem with this is, I tend to get over a girl almost immediately after we sleep together, which totally sucks because I know had I just waited to do anything physically, I could have given her and I a better chance at actually becoming something. However, this time I plan on taking it insanely slow to see if anything can come of it. Again, I dig being single, but the gal from last night is crazy attractive, digs great music, loves my nerdiness, and is around my age (most girls my age are typically married or insane, which leads to me dating 22-23 year olds).

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this has become the crush thread. LOVE it. there was a crush thread on another forum I post on but I don't post anything there because one of my ex's reads it...........

anyways I decided I'll call my crush and ask her to hang out on friday. hopefully she doesn't say " how about saturday" cause i'm totally going to see the offspring and sublime lol.

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I tend to make the first move far too often, generally a kiss on the second date. The problem with this is, I tend to get over a girl almost immediately after we sleep together, which totally sucks because I know had I just waited to do anything physically, I could have given her and I a better chance at actually becoming something. However, this time I plan on taking it insanely slow to see if anything can come of it. Again, I dig being single, but the gal from last night is crazy attractive, digs great music, loves my nerdiness, and is around my age (most girls my age are typically married or insane, which leads to me dating 22-23 year olds).

i'm completely opposite. i never make the first move. i tend to meet a girl and take things slow or just treat them as friends. and i treat my friends like my family. i've never really had a relationship with someone who i'm met off the bat. it's always been women that i tend to be friends first with and they just start to like me for some reason. even one nighters were never with a random stranger i met the night before. it's always been with friends and there has always been the mutual understanding that it's just for a night for fun. luckily i'm still friends with all my exes or anyone i've had sex with. after sex, i've never felt the need to just be over someone, because i liked them as people before the sex, even if was bad, i still wanted them in my life. the only problem now is i don't have many female friends that are single. all are married or in relationships. in turn, no prospects whatsoever.

at least i have netflix to keep me company most nights.

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anyone use tastebuds? its a dating/friend finding site based on last.fm profiles. i dusted mine off tonight, and found a gorgeous brunette on the other side of the state. im actually going to be in her town for work on friday, so i sent her a message... if this goes anywhere in the next day or so, im just going to pull the trigger and see if she wants to get together.

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anyone use tastebuds? its a dating/friend finding site based on last.fm profiles. i dusted mine off tonight, and found a gorgeous brunette on the other side of the state. im actually going to be in her town for work on friday, so i sent her a message... if this goes anywhere in the next day or so, im just going to pull the trigger and see if she wants to get together.

I don't use any dating sites, but if I did I feel like it would be this one. If I could find a girl that's into the same music that I am then most other criteria would go out the window.

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I feel like music is a huge part of what is attractive to me because it is such a large part of my daily life. I work almost 60 hours a week (with my headphones in 90% of the time) and when I have free time I spend it hunting down records, going to shows, or drinking and listening to music. one of the first questions I ask men is what kind of music they're into. maybe i'm doing it wrong

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I think there is a difference between asking a somewhat superficial question, like what kind of music do you like, and something deeper, like what role does it play in your life. Obviously one might try to word that last bit better.

If you'd consider music part of your "identity" you'll probably at least want some acknowledgement from a potential partner that they either agree, or it won't be a sticking point in the future. They lady and I don't align on what we listen to, but she is aware that when we travel there is going to need to be time for record hunting. Same goes for the amount of money spent annual on music related expenses, records, shows etc. So, in that sense, I think your both right.

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one of the first questions I ask men is what kind of music they're into. maybe i'm doing it wrong

Not doing it wrong imo. I've always asked about music. Probably because I mostly listen to metal and that's something I like to get out of the way quickly. Never had anyone deny me based on that but metal isn't for everyone. The only time I've ever dated someone and had an issue with their music was this country girl. Sorry but I can't do country music.

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30 and single?!?! Say it isn't so!

I've been loving being single at an age where I understand more about what I want. Back in the day when I was married that was more of an afterthought. Confidence comes from knowing yourself better.

Also, the music thing is key. I've been out with a gal a few times recently who shares musical taste with me. It's nice talking about this stuff and having the other party know what the hell yer talking about.

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I feel like music is a huge part of what is attractive to me because it is such a large part of my daily life. I work almost 60 hours a week (with my headphones in 90% of the time) and when I have free time I spend it hunting down records, going to shows, or drinking and listening to music. one of the first questions I ask men is what kind of music they're into. maybe i'm doing it wrong

i'd saying you're doing it wrong by working 60 hours a week. what do you have time for?

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I think there is a difference between asking a somewhat superficial question, like what kind of music do you like, and something deeper, like what role does it play in your life. Obviously one might try to word that last bit better.

That's exactly what I meant in my earlier post. Music is a lifestyle for me with all of the hours I spend listening to it, concerts I go to, the records I buy, and playing music. So it would be ideal to find a girl that shares the lifestyle, although maybe not to the extent that I take it to otherwise we'd be broke and just spend our money on records, concerts, merch, and food, haha.

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