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MAN ADVICE


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I'm kinda like you Madie, had a long relationship right after high school, got married right after college. Didn't really have much dating practice and after it ended I wasn't sure how to go forward. Just started dating again this year. My favourite type of date is a walking date. I like walking in the park, or stroll around downtown. Going for a drink makes for another easy date. Something where neither of you are too preoccupied to talk and get to know each other. Dinner and a movie is actually a terrible first date. I'd save it for third or later. Well, the movie at least, dinner is cool once you're past introductions and stuff. For example this one girl I saw, we walked around for a few hours, took a break on a park bench where we talked more, and then decided to grab some food.

One piece of advice I was given that I found very helpful: don't think of it as a date, think of it as going out for a fun time with a new friend. And remember that even if nothing comes of it you will have had an enjoyable time (hopefully) and got some dating practice. As for what to ask? Just ask for more detail about something he says that catches your interest. Just be casual and shoot the shit. *Don't* do what I call the "marriage interview" where you ask all the same kind of questions you'd see on a dating site (do you want kids? do you own a home? what do you do for work? etc). That just makes for a boring date. A few of those questions would be ok to get a bit of info out of him if you know nothing but don't stay on that line of questioning for very long.

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I was with a girl for 8 years, got married, got divorced. One thing I'm pretty good at is being a gentleman. I don't recommend alcohol on first dates though, that can lead to unwanted places. I also think dinner isn't good either because there isn't enough talking while eating, and some people can get uncomfortable.

I'm going on a first date with a pretty gal tonight. First im gonna bring her to get ice cream, then we're gonna go walk around the river. That way we can talk and get to know one another. She's from out of town so I have a lot of options.

Maybe you two could grab coffee, or gelato or something. Bowling is always a lot of fun too.

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I think the majority of you guys overthink your dates. You act like the goal is to get non-stop conversation from start to finish.

The biggest part of whether a girl wants a second date -- whether she is physically attracted to you. Not how much of her life story you get out to her.

Every single thing mentioned is fine -- movies, walking, drinks, dinner, bowling. Be normal and confident. That's all you have to do. Whether you choose bowling or a movie doesn't matter.

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When I clicked on this topic, I thought it was going to be a mens advice thread... like you know... how to check for prostate cancer, and what to do if it hurts when you pee. That kinda stuff.

Anyways...

My fiance and I met at a ska show and ate at Waffle house later. I guess that was our first date, and it couldn't have been better. Nothing says romance like ska and waffles.

EDIT: I meant testicular cancer, not prostate cancer... it'd kinda be awkward doing self-check for prostate cancer. lol

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Go to LA. Play penis game at that Angels Knoll like in (500) Days of Summer. Go digging at Amoeba. Go back home to listen to what you've bought (and maybe watch if you bought movies). Fall asleep on the couch together because you played some sleepy music. Wake up and share some breakfast. Man I really need to take the leap soon.........

You can also go laser tagging.

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Will she eventually be returning? And if not, is it even in the realm of possible that you'll be living within proximity of one another in the future?

If the answer to both questions is no, I'd advise to sever it early. But if there's a possibility - even a slim one - that things could get serious and escalate into something great... go for it.

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okay so thank you to everyone that suggested laser tag. also thank you to everyone else who offered good advice, I knew I stuck around here for a reason. I fucking love laser tag so that’s what I went with. we got pizza afterward then walked in this alley between the river and the old industrial plant. sat by the river... sat in his car and listened to music. it's my birthday today, so at midnight he pulled out this mix tape he made me, and actual mix tape? I didn’t know people still made those but that was probably the best thing he could have done, after that I was like damn, I actually like him. it was kind of wonderful. he texted me when I got home and said “can I see you again, asap”... I think it was a success!

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So how did the date go?

I had my first date with a gal tonight and I'm so smitten its ridiculous. So side question- girl is only in town for a month and we both really dig each other; do I pursue in hopes of an awesome month and who knows, or just nip it out now so nobody is hurt later?

go for it, if it's meant to be you two will find a way to work it out. I think the worst question you can walk around with on your shoulders is 'what if?'

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Madie, that date sounds so rad. Laser tag, seriously? That's so cool. As far as out of town chick goes, we met at a bar, where neither of us wanted to go that night, but both of us got drug out to. She's going to school for writing, as am I. We both agreed that we're just not going to just pretend the distance thing doesn't exist yet, which as a whole could end up really kicking me in the as. But you're right, I never want to think 'what if'

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