CONFESSIONS

[seangj]

Know how youre feeling. Its the same here. I have a single parent and it blows. We would be getting childsupport to make it easy because my brother and I are still in school but my father is a moron and did this so were not getting any for obvious reasons (not like he didnt owe us a ton of cash tho): http://www.muncyluminary.com/page/content.detail/id/507641/Accused-drunk-driver-wanted-officers-to-shoot-him.html?nav=5036

 

 

My dad fled to Thailand in order to not pay child support, but that doesn't really compare at all.

 

Damn. I'm sorry about all of that. I understand about the money issues. I was raised by a single mom, but I never knew my dad. He ran after he got my mom pregnant. I don't know how single parents do it. They have nothing but respect from me.

[Guest]

I introduced one of my best friends to weed a few years ago, and soon after that she was smoking every day all day. I also introduced her to my dealer who she eventually dated and had a baby with. She dropped out of nursing school and now she's living with him in a mobile home and caring for their child and his other 4 children. Her kid and another one of his kids has a pretty severe mental disability. He abuses her verbally and physically. And they do couple porn shows on webcam sites for money. AND he has a kid with another woman who is almost the exact same age as their child together, so he was/is cheating on her.

I saw her today and she had a bald spot on her head from a fight they had. Got me thinking about how involved I was with getting her to where she is now in her life.

[WalnutSoap]

I introduced one of my best friends to weed a few years ago, and soon after that she was smoking every day all day. I also introduced her to my dealer who she eventually dated and had a baby with. She dropped out of nursing school and now she's living with him in a mobile home and caring for their child and his other 4 children. Her kid and another one of his kids has a pretty severe mental disability. He abuses her verbally and physically. And they do couple porn shows on webcam sites for money. AND he has a kid with another woman who is almost the exact same age as their child together, so he was/is cheating on her.

I saw her today and she had a bald spot on her head from a fight they had. Got me thinking about how involved I was with getting her to where she is now in her life.

 

You shouldn't focus too hard on your part in that, as it's tiny.

 

In my experience, people who gravitate to self-destruction will find one way or another to do it. If you hadn't introduced her to weed, I'm sure she would have discovered it through someone else. It would have just been a different chain reaction that caused the shit in her life.

 

I don't know if that seems mean for me to say and obviously I don't know this person, but if you take all emotion out of the situation, it seems like your friend would have messed herself up another way if not this way. You can set a clock back, but it still carries on moving forward - you see?

 

Sorry for piping up, but it reminded me of a very similar situation I was in a couple years back.

[cbbrew22]

You shouldn't focus too hard on your part in that, as it's tiny.

 

In my experience, people who gravitate to self-destruction will find one way or another to do it. If you hadn't introduced her to weed, I'm sure she would have discovered it through someone else. It would have just been a different chain reaction that caused the shit in her life.

 

I don't know if that seems mean for me to say and obviously I don't know this person, but if you take all emotion out of the situation, it seems like your friend would have messed herself up another way if not this way. You can set a clock back, but it still carries on moving forward - you see?

 

Sorry for piping up, but it reminded me of a very similar situation I was in a couple years back.

 

Really good advice. It is so easy to find reasons to blame yourself for things that are really out of your control, no matter what the influence is. 

[Princess Logan]

Damn. I'm sorry about all of that. I understand about the money issues. I was raised by a single mom, but I never knew my dad. He ran after he got my mom pregnant. I don't know how single parents do it. They have nothing but respect from me.

 

Single parents are seriously incredible. My brother and sister are both my half siblings, I don't look at them that way, but they don't have much support from their fathers either. Out of all of them, mine was the worst. I have some pretty traumatizing stories and it sucks to know that his blood runs through my veins. 

 

I try to live my life in as much light and kindness as possible to make up for my father's mistakes. 

 

 

And Madie, I agree with everything Walnut Soup had to say. It's a really difficult situation and I've definitely been in similar, but you can't beat yourself up for things like that. 

[Peateargriffin]

My wife isn't "in love" with me, but I stay hoping one day she falls back :-/

[ronniegwilliams]

In regards to single parents, and also parents that have less money than they should, my mom may be the greatest mom in history (sorry if you think your mom wins, she doesn't). My mim raised my sister and me while working two jobs at a time. We were constantly broke and I never realized it until I grew up. The bulk of Christmas presents were pre-wrapped Salvation Army gifts, and she would skimp on bills just so we could afford a Starter jacket that I bitched and insisted on having when I was fourteen. Looking back, I was an asshole of a teenager. Fast forward a number of years and my mom, who has already done her part as being a fucking amazing mother, has adopted the three darling nieces of mine because their mother (her daughter) has a meth problem and the state attempted to take them away. Somewhere between the Starter jacket and now my stepfather came into money working in the oil business, and prior to his death my mother and him were very comfortable financially, but now that he's gone she makes comments about 'when she can afford' certain things. If I could I would give my mom every goddammed penny I earn at my job because she is the greatest human to ever exist. I hate it when she says that she can't buy something, because I know all of her money is going into raising three beautiful little girls that shouldn't be her responsibility. When people think it's funny to respond to something said with "your mom" I literally want to fight them.

[jase]

Today, I drove 4 hours each way interstate for a funeral for a mate of mine that died under suspicious circumstances. The police say he was murdered. Stabbed multiple times. No leads, no suspects no nothing. Now, as the majority of the boards here are American this probably doesn't seem 'too' out of the ordinary. But this happened in my nations capital. In a good city.

Add on to that. This guy was about 5'5". Legally blind, profoundly deaf thanks to a degenerative hearing disorder. And was the actual nicest guy anyone could have ever met.

This guy when he was younger and had better vision would drive 3 hours to my town just to watch a bunch of local bands play, then drive home. Cos music. He loved punk rock so ducking much. It's kind of unfathamable just how much and how far he would go for a show. He befriended everyone because he had no one. Both his parents died when he was 16-17. So he lived with his grans for a while. Then she died.

He found solace in our community of music. And we all fucking loved the guy. I mean. How could you not? He went to every show ever. Up front and centre singing all the words. Bought merch and offered a floor for any band going through his town. Deadset champion.

It got to the point for him that traveling to my home town wasn't really cutting it. So come weekends he'd come to us, pick a few of is up, then drive to Sydney. We'd watch the show. Them he'd drive our drunk arses home. Crash at one of our houses and drive himself home the next morning. Dedication right there! And love. And smiles. And good times. Always good times.

It was this dedication that earnt him a little moniker for overseas touring bands. The punisher. Bad religion. Descendants, strung out, pour habit, jugheads revenge, nofx, cobra skulls, dead to me amongst many others. All knew him by name, or by moniker. Nick or the ginger ninja.

He travelled Australia for every fucking show all these bands played here from about 2006 onward. And that was in between all the local shows he'd attend

It wouldn't be long until he thought, fuck it. These bands tour the states so often, and over here every few years. I might as well go to America and follow them around for a bit as well. Which he did 3 times. Once for punk rock bowling. Which as it turned out was great timing. He always had that.

After being in the states watching lagwagon rip it up at PRB lagwagon toured here the following week. And you guessed it. The ninja was front and centre when they took stage. Which lead to just one of his many amazing from great artists.

Joey cape and the rest of them took stage. Joey did that hand in front of the eyes thing, squinted a bit in the lights and said hey, we're lagwagon. Then did a double take when he looked out on the crowd as he saw the ginge. Bemused he asked 'hey, weren't you at punk rock bowling last week?'. That smile on his damned face. I'll never forget it.

It was the same smile that would light up as soon as he saw a familiar face. Infectious doesn't cut it. He was an absolutely ridiculous character. Think the guy you've seen with the most deliberate dumb haircut. He had it beat by a thousand times. Think the dumbest thing you've ever done. He's done it, probably twice. Maybe even taken a piss at the same time.

And it's with all this in mind that the funeral arrangements were prepared. His casket was COVERED in tour posters. From his own collection. Which amassed literally hundreds. There's been a number of the bands I already mentioned that wrote some great things on their Facebook pages. Most notably strung out.

I fucking loved you nick. We shared so many great moments. And every show I go to from here on out there's going to be a beer on stage, or side of stage, or in the corner for you. You won't be missed, because you'll always be here in spirit. You're in my thoughts daily. And I don't want to see a day that it doesn't happen. It won't happen. Because every single time I put that needle down. I'll be remembering all those times we pre-gamed. Or post-gamed. Or just gamed.

Today was a tough one. Today was a great one. Your turnout, was simply amazing. And I hope wherever you find yourself now you realise just how much you were loved by all and sundry. This community of ours. This punk rock community is drinking 10,000 beers for you right now.

Ted danson

[jase]

I should also explain. Ted danson was his way of saying cheers. Because, ted and cheers. Yeah, you get it.

Here's beers. I miss you

[jase]

Also, sorry to be a downer. It wasn't my intent. I've got a ginger smile ten miles wide for that man right now, as I listen to his favourite music. And I hope nobody feels down after reading that fucking essay. I wanted to get it off my chest. He really was a great guy. He wouldn't want sadness. But gladness. Listen to some punk and drink some beers.

[codeine]

Dang Jase, had me misting up 1/3 of the way through that. Sounds like a truly awesome guy. I'm sorry for your loss man, my condolences.

[jase]

I'm strangely at peace with it all to be honest. His funeral was BY FAR the most well attended i'ver been to. The service you couldn't get inside. Hopefully this works, but here is a quick snap of the procession following the hearse. As best i've looked, I couldn't see the end of this line. At least 300 people. For a guy that just went to shows and hung out with everyone. It's pretty fucking amazing

 

[codeine]

That's amazing, man.  Don't know what else to say, other than you all were fortunate to have known an awesome guy like him, and he was lucky to have a friend/many friends as awesome as yourself, Jase. Your positive outlook is refreshing.  I think we could all take a page out of yours, and Nick's playbook, and the world would probably be a much better place.

[jase]

Thank you. I've done really nothing to deserve niceties(its a word i think i just made up). But thank you. I've spent the majority of my day crying like a real fucking man, hugging the shit out of other real men and high fiving the shit out of ladies from australia wide. It's been a real weird day. And a sweaty day. Summer fucking sucks balls in Canberra. If anyone here has a chance to go, don't. It's a shithole

[jerseydave77]

Jase - I had a friend murdered in 2002. It was heartbreaking to suffer the loss then make the mistake of reading news articles about it (I don't recommend it). It was so senseless and remember the outpouring of the community being such a bright spot. I spent the night of the memorial with her brother shooting pool at her parent's and they were so damn lost but I could see that understanding the lives she'd touched meant a lot as a parade of family, friends and strangers came by to pay respects. If you can find a way to express your love for him to his family it would probably go a long way as they too cope with this insane loss. There is comfort knowing that the memory will live on and that the one we no longer see made a positive impact as you've already conveyed. 

 

I'm really sorry man, this really is horrible. Hope great news comes your way soon. 

[KennyFuckingPowers]

I love the guy in the NOFX tour shirt and the mohawk. Because judging by your friend's past, he wouldnt have wanted it any other way

[KennyFuckingPowers]

In regards to single parents, and also parents that have less money than they should, my mom may be the greatest mom in history (sorry if you think your mom wins, she doesn't). My mim raised my sister and me while working two jobs at a time. We were constantly broke and I never realized it until I grew up. The bulk of Christmas presents were pre-wrapped Salvation Army gifts, and she would skimp on bills just so we could afford a Starter jacket that I bitched and insisted on having when I was fourteen. Looking back, I was an asshole of a teenager. Fast forward a number of years and my mom, who has already done her part as being a fucking amazing mother, has adopted the three darling nieces of mine because their mother (her daughter) has a meth problem and the state attempted to take them away. Somewhere between the Starter jacket and now my stepfather came into money working in the oil business, and prior to his death my mother and him were very comfortable financially, but now that he's gone she makes comments about 'when she can afford' certain things. If I could I would give my mom every goddammed penny I earn at my job because she is the greatest human to ever exist. I hate it when she says that she can't buy something, because I know all of her money is going into raising three beautiful little girls that shouldn't be her responsibility. When people think it's funny to respond to something said with "your mom" I literally want to fight them.

You mom and mine are very similar. Minus the whole adopting thing. That's so unfortunate. Sorry to hear that man

[Shitty Rambo]

I'm getting pretty pissed at a dude a work who's trying to guilt trip me into playing music with him. This dude has never been in a band, pirates everything he listens to, has 0 experience, is living with his parents, and divorced with 2 kids. I have no problem with people making shit, but he's grossly obsessed with metalcore and is giving me a hard time for not wanting to fuck with any of this. I've played music for half of my life, I've done the garbage jam sessions in garages, playing shows to 5 people, touring, etc. I'm good, I have a family and a mortgage and already had my fun. This dude is posting shitty inspirational quotes like 'You can't do epic things with normal people'. I want to say "dude, this is going to suck for a while. That's what being in a band is. You're about 15 years too late".

/rant

[parkinglot]

I wish I had people begging me to play music with them. But I'm 20 and in university, not married with kids. Also, metalcore...ha.

[Shitty Rambo]

I wish I had people begging me to play music with them. But I'm 20 and in university, not married with kids. Also, metalcore...ha.

I don't want to be a bummer about it, but the last 3 bands I played with were all as a stand-in guy. I wasn't particularly interested in any of the genres, but they already had material so I basically just wrote along side what they had. This other dude has no music and only plays a damn synthesizer he bought a month ago. I don't want to try and write music I can't stand with someone who hardly plays something lol. I do have the itch to play with others again, but I want it to be worth while and a style of music I actually like. I just don't think this dude knows how much time and work it takes to even sound acceptable and he's being super passive aggressive like he years of experience under his belt.

[maneatingcow]

I don't want to be a bummer about it, but the last 3 bands I played with were all as a stand-in guy. I wasn't particularly interested in any of the genres, but they already had material so I basically just wrote along side what they had. This other dude has no music and only plays a damn synthesizer he bought a month ago. I don't want to try and write music I can't stand with someone who hardly plays something lol. I do have the itch to play with others again, but I want it to be worth while and a style of music I actually like. I just don't think this dude knows how much time and work it takes to even sound acceptable and he's being super passive aggressive like he years of experience under his belt.

 

I'm going to start trying to teach myself the banjo in a month or so and I'll totally play with him. 

 

Metalcore needs more banjo.

 

 

 

In reality that sucks that he's so pushy / desperate.  I get not wanting just be blunt and tell him you have no interest.  Hopefully he loses interest, or finds someone else.

[Youinreverse]

I'm going to start trying to teach myself the banjo in a month or so and I'll totally play with him.

Metalcore needs more banjo.

In reality that sucks that he's so pushy / desperate. I get not wanting just be blunt and tell him you have no interest. Hopefully he loses interest, or finds someone else.

I can't remember their name, but there's a band out of Kentucky that's half metal, half bluegrass. I think they're called Panopticon?

[maneatingcow]

I can't remember their name, but there's a band out of Kentucky that's half metal, half bluegrass. I think they're called Panopticon?

 

I shall be googling that later.

[Aych]

I feel kind of bad about saying this, but one of my biggest pet peeves as of recently is when people on Tumblr claim to be seriously mentally ill, but are completely self-diagnosed. Like, I'm sorry you feel like there may be something wrong with you, and I know you know yourself much better than I do or ever will, but until you get a real diagnosis from a real doctor/psychiatrist, I call bullshit.

 

I also realize that a few of the people who do it may not have the money or familial support to visit a professional and get the diagnosis and help they need, because the majority of the people I see doing it are still teenagers who live with their parents, but it still bugs the shit out of me.

[stampface]

I feel like I'm unable to create anything. I'm a talented singer, but any time I try to write songs, I just can't get anything down. I think it's because I keep my feelings bottled up and don't express myself. Also, I feel like anything I write just won't be noticed. Lord knows we don't need another guy singing about being broken-hearted. I just feel like all this stuff with me getting into a huge art school was just a fluke and I'm really just creatively bankrupt.