deafening Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 This is an image I did not expect to have today, or ever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
castaway Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 thedillon, sjb2k1, fooood and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 All I have to say... Baby wipes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Satan Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 you guys never cease to amaze me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abovetheearth Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 yup. at first i tried to ignore it. a moment later i just flipped her over and avoided that position for the rest of our go. id still be thinking of the poo and suggest a movie after doggie. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amnstypls Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 anyone ever fuck a girl from behind... and notice she's got a little poopy still hangin out in her b-hole? Scooby snack!!!! mcguirk and derrickcook19941 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steventangent Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 Go get blown behind the dumpster at Arby's like a normal fucking person. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amnstypls Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 I've got a story for y'all niggas. So, I was dating this banging ass bitch. Covered in tats; gigantic ass with a tight little waist. Went out with her for her 21st. Got her FUCKED UP. About halfway through her mom decided to join. I got them both so hammered they couldn't walk straight. I took them both home (they lived together.) My GF got sick and started vomiting all over. Me, being the classy gentleman I am, rolled her ass over in a huge pile of her own puke. I didn't want that bitch to Jimi Hendrix herself. I strutted on out to the living room and laid some pipe on her mom. No rubber. I sucked on them 40 year old titties and busted my nut right up in that shit. Even had a brief moment of turd-cutter play. After I was done I couldn't even zip my fly up before I called my best friend and bragged about it. Yeah.... I have had one hell of a life. laralaurent 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
derrickcook19941 Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 this thread fucking delivers so hard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abovetheearth Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 When I was 19, I dated a 33 year old. Met her at a pool. She was pretty but trailer looking. Like Jaime Presley. She had the name of her ex, in prison tatted on her calf. "Eddie" in a rose. and a dream catcher tat on her shoulder. Didn't even know her name before we're down a dirt road and she's shaking hands with Abe Lincoln. She's going to town. About to start a small fire in my crotch. Then she start slapping him. Punching, spitting. I'm grinning. High as fuck. Then mr winky enters her mouth. I think a few teeth were missing. No worries. I start to go for her shorts. She said no. So as punishment I made her swallow. I ate something funky so the minute I put a gallon down her throat she gag coughed and spat it. . It flew across the cab of the truck like a flying octopus. Landed on the dash. My dad's trunk. He'd smell my musk forever. I cleaned until the paper towels no longer stuck to parts of the car. I met her a few days past. We made out and I put it in her pooper. She baked me an apple pie. Never knew her name. sjb2k1, videogamesandvinyl, edgedestroys and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fooood Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 What the hell haha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcpherson123 Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 Didn't even know her name before we're down a dirt road and she's shaking hands with Abe Lincoln. Wait... what? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edgedestroys Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 Man I wish I had a sex story that cool, I'm insanely boring. Best I've got is one of the first times I nailed my most recent ex when I pulled out I had blood on my dick haha. I didn't rush it or go TOO hard on him, but yeah. He never wanted to let me top because my dick was "too big" but I think it's just because he's an impatient baby. On a related note after I lost my v card to the first dude I dated I shat blood for a week. Didn't have insurance at the time and I was terrified out of my mind that I was gonna bleed out of my ass to death or something. Being 18 and irrational is cool. Guess it was kinda like breaking a dude hymen or something. Being gay is hella scary. Would not recommend. Other than the not worrying about getting pregnant part. That rules lol. tarzioo_, trifornais, sjb2k1 and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
controlthebleeding Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 i just cannot imagine enjoying the blood portion of things. sex is the last thing i want when im on the rag who said anything about being on the rag? i'm talking cutting (scalpel) and biting. that shit is intense but very messy. luckily my shower door was 4 feet from the bed. we had to jump to the linoleum as to not stain the carpet. speaking of the poop dept. once my roommate was having sex with my friend and his girlfriend, and when he pulled out of her anus, he got some poop on him. he immediately got it and flung it at her and it got caught in her 3/4" plug in her ear. without her acknowledging it for the next 15 minutes. he swapped condoms and kept going at it (but laughing and trying to cum because he couldn't concentrate anymore and just wanted to get it over with. when he told me the next day i couldn't stop laughing because i imagined the scenerio and started spitting and almost dry heaving into my cereal as i was laughing soooo freakin' hard. i always wanted to talk to her about that night and her getting poo in her ear. GradedOnACurve and edgedestroys 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edgedestroys Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 ^ oh my god haha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abovetheearth Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 Wait... what? Giving me a handy castaway 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amnstypls Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 When I was 19, I dated a 33 year old. Met her at a pool. She was pretty but trailer looking. Like Jaime Presley. She had the name of her ex, in prison tatted on her calf. "Eddie" in a rose. and a dream catcher tat on her shoulder. Didn't even know her name before we're down a dirt road and she's shaking hands with Abe Lincoln. She's going to town. About to start a small fire in my crotch. Then she start slapping him. Punching, spitting. I'm grinning. High as fuck. Then mr winky enters her mouth. I think a few teeth were missing. No worries. I start to go for her shorts. She said no. So as punishment I made her swallow. I ate something funky so the minute I put a gallon down her throat she gag coughed and spat it. . It flew across the cab of the truck like a flying octopus. Landed on the dash. My dad's trunk. He'd smell my musk forever. I cleaned until the paper towels no longer stuck to parts of the car. I met her a few days past. We made out and I put it in her pooper. She baked me an apple pie. Never knew her name. Amazing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jtcohenour Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 Scooby snack!!!! Oh damn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 a couple years ago, i was at the bar with two friends, and we met 3 smith college girls. they invited us back to their dorm, and of course the one i was talking to the whole time said "oh hey, you guys have fun. i'm gonna go to another bar with my boyfriend." but being the nice guy i am, went anyway, because i was the driver and didn't want to deprive my pals. so i 5th wheeled for a while as we played some dirty jenga. i think there was a handy in the closet at one point. but anyway. it got real late, i saw where things were going, and decided to take off. i'm pretty sure one of them fell short. but that part doesn't matter. what matters is that my other friend went back to his girls room. things started getting heavy, and she stopped and said "wait. i've never had sex with a guy before." he's thrilled. it's his first asian AND she's technically a virg. "do you have a condom?" the thrill quickly evaporates, as he was unprepared. drunk, horny, desperate, she says, "whatever.. use this." and hands him a ziplock bag. drunk, horny, desperate... he obliges. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roadmonkey Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 LOL.. Now This is what I'm talking about! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
castaway Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 Anyone ever get walked in on? When I was 16 (the first blowie I ever received), my girlfriend at the time told me she was staying at her grandma's house and that I should sneak in at 3 AM and get blown. So obviously I did, and when I snuck in and we started, the bed creaked and it made her grandma's yappy little dog go nuts. Her grandma knocked on the door and the only place I could hide was under the covers while she answered the door. Still in disbelief over how she didn't notice me. Another time we were at her dad's house, and I was upstairs in the middle of the day getting blown. I was there with my friend and somehow didn't think about how my friend would come looking for me if I left him all alone with my girlfriend's dad hahaha. Anyways he walks up and opens the door and the only way I possibly knew to react was: vialister, tarzioo_, laralaurent and 2 others 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amnstypls Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 The gif fucking made that story. tarzioo_ 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vialister Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 Anyone ever get walked in on? Yep. I was playing COD one night and my ex was sat on the bed. She walked in front of the telly and I told her to get out the way. she got down on her knees and started taking my trousers off and blowing me. About half way through I hear the door open and I look over the back of my chair and my brother walks in & says "just wondering if you're on COD, I'll join your game in five" and walks out, not suspecting a thing. Fuck knows how he didn't see her, the chair is one of those big leather things from Ikea so it must have blocked her and she was partly under my desk (or he just didn't want to say anything). Also had my mic on the whole way through and nothing was said & I went 29-2 or something. Fun times all round. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sjb2k1 Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 holy hell i forgot about this Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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