Team Avatar Posted December 5, 2013 Share Posted December 5, 2013 anti jokes aren't funny Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whoshotthefrog Posted December 5, 2013 Share Posted December 5, 2013 What's the opposite of Christopher Reeve? Christopher Walken ozfacter and paintedinexile 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottheisel Posted December 6, 2013 Share Posted December 6, 2013 What's the difference between a classic '57 Chevy and a pile of dead babies? I don't have the Chevy in my garage. aflycon 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottheisel Posted December 6, 2013 Share Posted December 6, 2013 What's better than having sex with an 8-year-old Filipino girl? Having sex with an 8-year-old Filipino boy. What's better than having sex with an 8-year-old Filipino boy? NOTHING. aflycon 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottheisel Posted December 6, 2013 Share Posted December 6, 2013 What sound does a baby make when you put it in a microwave and hit defrost? I don't know, I was too busy furiously masturbating. popscratch 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3arl Posted December 6, 2013 Share Posted December 6, 2013 What's three feet tall and gives great head? My son. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 6, 2013 Share Posted December 6, 2013 dead baby jokes weren't funny when i was in 6th grade, and they aren't funny now Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deafening Posted December 6, 2013 Share Posted December 6, 2013 I literally just discovered dead baby / baby eating jokes were a thing a few months ago. I get the shock value, but they're not legitimately funny. CaliforniaNoise 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottheisel Posted December 6, 2013 Share Posted December 6, 2013 dead baby jokes weren't funny when i was in 6th grade, and they aren't funny now Thank god we now know your stance on this topic! ozfacter 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steventangent Posted December 6, 2013 Share Posted December 6, 2013 Dead baby jokes were how 8th grade me coped with moving from Hawaii to ultra conservative rural Michigan by offending the very rednecks that I knew would never accept me. aflycon 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deafening Posted December 6, 2013 Share Posted December 6, 2013 Why do mice have such small balls? So few mice know how to dance. David The Gnome 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevinxabney Posted December 6, 2013 Share Posted December 6, 2013 My dad's favorite joke goes like this:What's green and goes " slam slam slam slam " ? a four door pickle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
emptyhanded Posted December 6, 2013 Share Posted December 6, 2013 I was told this joke by a guy I know from Norway. I don't know if it'll suck written out (and without the accent) but we'll see: So a doctor was having a shitty day and a hot woman walks into the office. At this point, his overall frustration leads to a complete disregard for any sense of professionalism. So she sits down on the table, and he starts rubbing her thigh, and asks "Do you know what I'm doing right now?". She answers "You're checking my thigh for any skin abnormalities and stuff like that", to which he replies "exactly right". Next, he starts caressing her breasts, and again asks "Do you know what I'm doing right now?", and she answers "You're checking for any lumps and other signs of cancer". Again, he replies "exactly right". His confidence in the situation begins to increase. All of a sudden he pulls off her pants and starts having sex with her, and asks "Do you know what I'm doing right now". She replies with "you're getting herpes, that's what I came here to talk to you about". jayteamanis and The Saint 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stranaspank Posted December 6, 2013 Share Posted December 6, 2013 What's brown and sticky? A stick How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Wanna go ride bikes? What do you call a black guy flying a plane? The pilot, you racist Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stranaspank Posted December 6, 2013 Share Posted December 6, 2013 Also, this is fun to do to people: Go up to someone and tell them you have a great knock knock joke, but they have to start it. It plays out like this: THEM: knock knock YOU: who's there? THEM: (doesn't know what to do, awkward silence, brain breaks) Team Avatar and castaway 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whoshotthefrog Posted December 6, 2013 Share Posted December 6, 2013 Three tampons are walking down the road, which one do you talk to? None of them, they're all stuck up cunts! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Team Avatar Posted December 6, 2013 Share Posted December 6, 2013 - clearly not, since they are both walking down the road. - the joke was already made - bitches is a much better word to use, since the phrase "stuck up cunt" isn't used half as much as "stuck up bitch" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deafening Posted December 6, 2013 Share Posted December 6, 2013 Cunts > bitches konk, Hobbes and entendu 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dillhole Posted December 6, 2013 Share Posted December 6, 2013 Cunt is far superior, just a stronger more direct word and also doubles as a term for a vagina. Keep it with cunt, leave the bitches at the pound! Hobbes and konk 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 6, 2013 Share Posted December 6, 2013 Cunt is the dopest word that I never use. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
parkinglot Posted December 6, 2013 Share Posted December 6, 2013 If this doesn't cheer you up then I don't know what to say. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KWrXZzzq1B0 The Saint and videogamesandvinyl 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Team Avatar Posted December 7, 2013 Share Posted December 7, 2013 It's just an awful word. It has such a bad connotation, can come off as sexist and it really upsets almost every single woman I know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deafening Posted December 7, 2013 Share Posted December 7, 2013 It's just an awful word. It has such a bad connotation, can come off as sexist and it really upsets almost every single woman I know. Interact with better women. In all seriousness, in regards to the joke, cunt just fits so much better. No need to fight it. It's just a joke, and it's just a word. Hobbes and ozfacter 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevinxabney Posted December 7, 2013 Share Posted December 7, 2013 Yeah - women love when you say bitches. entendu, CaliforniaNoise and Hobbes 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deafening Posted December 7, 2013 Share Posted December 7, 2013 You gotta hand it to blind prostitutes TheGhostOfRandySavage and jayteamanis 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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