mcguirk Posted March 22, 2014 Share Posted March 22, 2014 Today is a happy day indeed! My ex and I met at college and stayed together for around six years. I was faithful but I never really wanted the relationship to spiral out forever. Cue a couple years after college: she tells be she'll leave if we don't move in together. I oblige and sell my motorcycle. A few months later, she threatened to leave if I wouldn't propose to her. I bought a beautiful ring from the 1930s and -- after a few months -- she admitted she hated the ring and was embarrassed by the main diamond's size (maybe 0.4k)... but she was oblivious to the fact that I paid for all the furniture and initial move-in costs. About a month ago she wouldn't kiss me, hug me, etc. she returned the ring back to me. I started sleeping downstairs on the couch. Last night she finally decided to move out, albeit she is blaming all the problems squarely on me. Regardless, I'm so elated that I wanted to tell you buddies. This was an awful, abusive relationship, and I'm glad we killed it while we're both young. Now I'm stuck with the full rent and a few small bills, but my lease is up in September. So homies, if you're in a mentally abusive relationship, or you've hit a dead end, get out! I wish I had the balls to speak up sooner. David Loyd, castaway, zacaroo21 and 2 others 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Princess Logan Posted March 22, 2014 Share Posted March 22, 2014 I'm sure that's so relieving, I'm sorry you got stuck in a situation like that. I've seen a lot of friends fall into the rut of a mentally abusive relationship and it blows. But you're free!!!! What are you going to do now? Go to Disney World??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
futures Posted March 22, 2014 Share Posted March 22, 2014 Wow that sounds awful. I'm so sorry you had to endure all of that! Today is a great day indeed. =] I'm glad that you are so happy!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcguirk Posted March 22, 2014 Author Share Posted March 22, 2014 I'm sure that's so relieving, I'm sorry you got stuck in a situation like that. I've seen a lot of friends fall into the rut of a mentally abusive relationship and it blows. But you're free!!!! What are you going to do now? Go to Disney World??? Hahah! Funny you say that... my dad passed away a couple years ago and was buried in Florida, where he lived in his later years. So I'm planning on driving down once I'm done a big Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcguirk Posted March 22, 2014 Author Share Posted March 22, 2014 I'm sure that's so relieving, I'm sorry you got stuck in a situation like that. I've seen a lot of friends fall into the rut of a mentally abusive relationship and it blows. But you're free!!!! What are you going to do now? Go to Disney World??? Hahah! Funny you say that... my dad passed away a couple years ago and was buried in Florida, where he lived in his later years. So I'm planning on driving down once I'm done a big project at work. In the sooner term, I finally get to Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcguirk Posted March 22, 2014 Author Share Posted March 22, 2014 I'm sure that's so relieving, I'm sorry you got stuck in a situation like that. I've seen a lot of friends fall into the rut of a mentally abusive relationship and it blows. But you're free!!!! What are you going to do now? Go to Disney World??? Hahah! Funny you say that... my dad passed away a couple years ago and was buried in Florida, where he lived in his later years. So I'm planning on driving down once I'm done a big project at work. In the sooner term, I finally get to pick up speakers for my turntable (yes!!), rearrange stuff, and hop on a separate phone plan, maybe with a shiny new iPhone :] Also planning on hocking that engagement ring and using the proceeds in a very mature manner... I have my eye on a new-to-me Kawasaki Z1000. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gutzonborglum Posted March 22, 2014 Share Posted March 22, 2014 Good for you, dude. I'd say it's a huge win for you because you A) weren't married, and didn't have any kids, so it's an incredibly clean break. Best of luck on the beginning of a new chapter! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thoughtsky Posted March 22, 2014 Share Posted March 22, 2014 Had the same shit and broke up over a year ago. Since the I'm in a new relationship which makes me happier than I've ever been. The only advice I could give you regarding a new relationship is: get to know the person for some time and be friends before you get serious. A relationship is a commitment and if you make a commitment with someone you barely know it can turn out bad or good but chances are better if you know her or him Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tarzioo_ Posted March 22, 2014 Share Posted March 22, 2014 You know it was a bad relationship when you feel really relieved when it's over. I've been in a few of those myself ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steventangent Posted March 22, 2014 Share Posted March 22, 2014 Sold your motorcycle for her? Shame on you for ignoring early warning signs :-P Congrats and I'm glad things are looking up for you, dude! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
afireinside7444 Posted March 22, 2014 Share Posted March 22, 2014 Good for getting out. I was in something similar. I know alot of people ask how/why you would stay.... even i dont know why i did. She had 3 different groups of friends and the 2 i never hung out with was told how abusive sexually/mentally i was, wouldent let her have money or go to school ect when it was the opposite i would drive to Canada to get her from bars at 3am, give her money out the ass, i paid for her college that she kept failing and or droping classes. Brand new car while i drove used cars and when she left half the house went with her comics, comic/movie figures and statues, arts and crafts stuff no wonder i felt so cluttered. She meet some guy and ran as fast as she could with him, yet just a few months after came crying back saying he was abusive controlling yadda yadda yadda, i changed the locks on the house. Just be prepared for the i made a mistake call if it comes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ksleap Posted March 22, 2014 Share Posted March 22, 2014 If I could turn back the clock to before I got married I would go on a cougar cruise. You should go and let me live through you with pictures and stories. Go while your still young. entendu 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deafening Posted March 22, 2014 Share Posted March 22, 2014 Yo. Good for you dude! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abovetheearth Posted March 22, 2014 Share Posted March 22, 2014 cuffing season is over! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
agreetodisagree Posted March 23, 2014 Share Posted March 23, 2014 Good for you! Break free from your chains and make your life your own again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yocaseycasey Posted March 23, 2014 Share Posted March 23, 2014 After 28 years of life, I've come up with this quip to state when necessary. Unless someone else already said it that is more famous. But I have never heard it, and it is often my "I think I'm breaking up with my blah blah blah" or "Things aren't looking good with my blah blah blah." : Every girl is crazy. It's all about finding the kind of crazy you can put up with for the rest of your life.My wife is bat-shit crazy (she knows that I know this). However, her random crying gets cancelled out by the fact that she takes on the dishes and laundry, and if she REALLY wants that vintage lamp at the Antique Barn, then I really don't feel obligated to buy it for her, but I will anyway because she doesn't ask for much (except for milk... she BURNS through a gallon in a day and a half I swear). Plus she puts up with a ton of records and books always showing up in the mail. I was in a relationship for three years like the one you have described. She added nothing to the relationship and was the first to complain. Oh, and she didn't work, didn't have a license, didn't graduate high school, and was basically worthless (except for smoking the weed I bought and drinking the liquor I bought). Be glad you got out when you did. Find a kind of crazy that works with what you have going on. jayteamanis, The Saint and Ghost_Parlour* 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chamb117 Posted March 23, 2014 Share Posted March 23, 2014 congrats, brother. GradedOnACurve and topher 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chefchino Posted March 23, 2014 Share Posted March 23, 2014 After 28 years of life, I've come up with this quip to state when necessary. Unless someone else already said it that is more famous. But I have never heard it, and it is often my "I think I'm breaking up with my blah blah blah" or "Things aren't looking good with my blah blah blah." : Every girl is crazy. It's all about finding the kind of crazy you can put up with for the rest of your life. My gf is bat-shit crazy (she knows that I know this). However, her random yelling and demand for immediate attention gets cancelled out by the fact that she has the higher paying job and will do the shopping, and if she REALLY wants that Nintendo ds and pokemon bc it's on sale, then I really don't feel obligated to buy it for her, but I will anyway because she doesn't ask for much (except for lottery tickets... she BURNS through a stack of scratch offs in a week, I swear). Plus she puts up with a ton of records and expensive random meats and cheeses always showing up in the mail. I was in a relationship for three years like the one you have described. She added nothing to the relationship and was the first to complain. Oh, and she didn't work, didn't have a license, didn't graduate high school, and was basically worthless (except for smoking the weed I bought and drinking the liquor I bought). Be glad you got out when you did. Find a kind of crazy that works with what you have going on. best possible advice anyone can give a guy when it comes to finding a woman. Everything Casey said is interchangeable as seen in the quote above. Really great that you got out of this clean, non mutual long term relationship break ups rarely end well. I know it took me a while to get over mine but I wouldn't trade who I have now for anything Even as she's nagging me to stop playing on the internet and play mario kart with her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Green Tea Papi Posted March 23, 2014 Share Posted March 23, 2014 Manipulative relationships are never healthy, I'm glad you've begun a new chapter of your life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
somethingvinyl Posted March 23, 2014 Share Posted March 23, 2014 Glad you're free. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattisr1984 Posted March 23, 2014 Share Posted March 23, 2014 i was with a girl for 7 yrs. we bought a house, adopted a dog, got engaged. all the good stuff. the house was a fixer-upper - her dad came in and helped us fixed up the whole place. we literally gutted it and rebuilt it with all the stuff we picked out together. about 3 months after being engaged she started cheating on me with one of her co-workers. after she admitted it, she packed up her stuff and left. made me feel so awesome. while you seem to be relieved (kudos), my experience was soul crushing. in fact, it still fucking sucks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Princess Logan Posted March 23, 2014 Share Posted March 23, 2014 Even as she's nagging me to stop playing on the internet and play mario kart with her. Yo, don't leave us hanging...who won mario kart? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dominic252 Posted March 23, 2014 Share Posted March 23, 2014 Good for you, dude. I too was in a similar relationship. Controlling, manipulative, etc. She forced me to cut my best friends out of my life because I would smoke and drink with them. Oh yeah, wasn't allowed to do that either. This went on for 3 years until I finally snapped. Since ending it, I've been nothing but happy. My anxiety hasn't been nearly as bad as it used to be. It's a great feeling and I hope you're enjoying this new found freedom as well Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chefchino Posted March 23, 2014 Share Posted March 23, 2014 Yo, don't leave us hanging...who won mario kart? I was demolished, no mercy.I went 2 for 10. My girls got skillz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deafening Posted March 23, 2014 Share Posted March 23, 2014 My boyfriend refuses to play Mario Kart with me. He knows I'll win. Girls rule boys drool. and all of these success stories are pretty awesome. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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