someoneseekinghelp

For what it's worth, they share discussion of what my mother's work schedule looks like, as well as what time would be best for the stranger for my father to take the dog on a walk (walks which tend to last longer than most movies...). My father works from home, so his schedule is easily accommodating. While I obviously have no concrete proof, I personally think it goes beyond 'sexting'. The former is one of the main things that runs through my mind. If that really was the case, I don't think I'd be at all resentful toward my father, as I believe everyone deserves to be happy. But engaging in the activities I believe he's engaging in while still married to my mother really irks me. (I know, as already stated, I don't actually know what's driving his actions, or even what these actions are) I would love to think this is something my mother condones and is alright with, but the secretive nature of my father's actions as well as the fragments of messages I have read lead me to believe otherwise. I hate looking at this so cynically, but I can't seem to view it in any other way.

I'll start right off by stating that I created this account for the sake of anonymity. If you are somehow able to identify me, please keep it to yourself. Short question: What should I do if I know my father is cheating on my mother, and she has absolutely no idea? Long explanation/dilemmas: For a few months now, I have been noticing that my father is ALWAYS texting, but as to whom, I never had any clue. He doesn't text any friends/relatives, and my mother's texting doesn't extend beyond my siblings and myself. As time passed, I began to sneak an eye over towards my father's phone whenever he began texting somebody. I'd never purposely read the content, but I always tried to see whom he was messaging. Through this haphazard "investigating", I got nothing more than an acronym for a name, and the fact that it was said person's mobile phone. It was obvious that this person’s name was being kept secret, in the off chance that someone did happen to see on his phone who he was talking to. At first, I tried to just push it out of my mind. I figured that surely it was no big deal, and my over-analyzing mind was looking far too deep into it. And it worked, for a while. But as more time passed, I began noticing certain words and phrases being used in his texts to this mystery person, things that you don’t just discuss with anybody. I never knew for sure until one night, I noticed he left his cell phone at home when he went out. It kept on ringing, and quite frankly I was a bit growing agitated. I went to go turn off his phone, to discover a number of texts and missed calls from this mystery person. Now, I know this may have been completely wrong of me, but I proceeded to not open the texts, but rather open his inbox and just catch a few key words. While I won’t go into detail about what the first dozen characters of the texts said, I will say that they confirmed my suspicions. While the content of the messages was confirmation enough for me, curiosity got the best of me, and I took this anonymous person’s phone number and attempted to search online for a possible connection. While I couldn’t find anything really helpful, I realized the phone number was from a different area code – an area code more than 2000 miles away from here. I initially had absolutely no clue how this was possible, but then, with my suspicions already through the roof, I decided to attribute this to the person having previously lived there, and as such, having a phone number from there. Paranoid, perhaps, but it makes sense to me. Now, here’s where I am in need of advice. There are a lot of factors that have been running through my mind, and I feel I can no longer keep it all inside while properly assessing my options at the same time. Is it my responsibility to tell my mother? It kills me that I know this information, as she absolutely loves him, and they have been together far longer than I have even been alive. It would absolutely kill her if she found out about this, let alone if she knew that I knew about it long before her. I worry about her stability mentally, and worry that if she were to suddenly lose the life she has lived for so long, she would literally have no clue what to do. I’m fairly certain she is depressed as it is, which already worries me. She has made various empty threats in the past about harming herself (only in the setting of arguments), but I worry what a situation such as this could make her really do. In regards to my father, this has begun to really change our relationship. Although this is all relatively new, I’m already seeing my father through a different lens. I cringe when I hear him speak affectionately to my mother. It pains me to see them kiss. I've begun avoiding my father, and lack any motivation to do the things with him that we used to enjoy doing together. I’ve begun doubting the truth of things he tells me, and that kills me, as my family has always been some of the few people I could truly trust in life. Selfishly speaking, I really worry about how this would affect me. I am currently a student, and financially speaking, all of my loan backing and financial support comes from my father. My mother works as well, but she barely makes enough to support a single person, let alone help with my education. If I were to blow the whistle on this whole thing, I feel as if I’d also be throwing away my educational future. Do I bottle this up, and wait it out for the duration of my schooling? At the same time, this is killing me inside, and I feel I’m suffering mentally and physically. I mean, I’ve been up literally all night just thinking about this shit. In that regard, I wouldn’t see any potential whistle blowing as selfish in nature. But with the previous considerations in mind, I don't see how I could be acting completely selflessly. To top it all off, I’ve always been a relatively passive person, and as such, I really don’t think I’m strong enough to confront either of my parents, or anybody for that matter. (I've basically lived my entire life thus far avoiding confrontation at all costs) Bottom line, I don’t have a clue what to do. I have nobody to talk to about this in person, so any serious advice you people have is greatly appreciated. (On the off chance that someone reading this has gone through a similar experience and doesn’t want to speak publicly, I’d be more than appreciative of a PM or e-mail)