Awkward situations

[Guest falloutcollapse]

So, a friend of my girlfriend's (and a lot of my other friends) died today. He was drunk, and was walking around, and get hit by a car. He died very early this morning. I don't know how I should react, because:

A) I barely knew him

I didn't like him very much

I really don't want to say anything about him, because he is dead now, and he should rest in peace, without me being an asshole. But there's so much I really want to say, and would say any other day.

This is by far the most awkward situation of my life.

Post yours!

[Guest falloutcollapse]

When I first read that, I thought you were saying a lot of your friends died.

That's an awful situation. Ben Gibbard talks a little bit about a situation like this in "Drive Well, Sleep Carefully" in reference to the story behind "Styrofoam Plates." The guy was an awful person in life and at the funeral people would say things "well one thing about so-and-so is he never took no for an answer." They couldn't think of something nice to say, but tried to spin it nicely.

When she told me this happened to Chris (kid that passed), all I could think about was this song.

[cadetapplesauce]

i went to a small private catholic high school, and there was this kid here who got leukemia. i didn't like this kid at all. i thought he was an arrogant little prick with no respect for others at all (which he was). he didnt die or anything like that, but people were all freaking out. i honestly couldnt find anything to say that was too nice about him, other than "that sucks, and i hope he gets better, but i just don't like him." i only said these things to my then-girlfriend. my suggestion is if you dont have anything nice to say, don't say it at all. it would probably be better to let those bad feelings go, anyway, cuz he won't be there to bother you anymore. but express sympathy, i mean, you've got to have some. if not for him, at least for his family?

[hickey]

Tell your girlfriend and your other friends that you're sorry about what happened and leave it at that. Don't say anything negative, because that will make you look like a dick. If you're pressed by anyone, just say, I didn't know him well, but I knew a lot of people who liked him.

[Guest falloutcollapse]

Tell your girlfriend and your other friends that you're sorry about what happened and leave it at that. Don't say anything negative, because that will make you look like a dick. If you're pressed by anyone, just say, I didn't know him well, but I knew a lot of people who liked him.

i went to a small private catholic high school, and there was this kid here who got leukemia. i didn't like this kid at all. i thought he was an arrogant little prick with no respect for others at all (which he was). he didnt die or anything like that, but people were all freaking out. i honestly couldnt find anything to say that was too nice about him, other than "that sucks, and i hope he gets better, but i just don't like him." i only said these things to my then-girlfriend. my suggestion is if you dont have anything nice to say, don't say it at all. it would probably be better to let those bad feelings go, anyway, cuz he won't be there to bother you anymore. but express sympathy, i mean, you've got to have some. if not for him, at least for his family?

Both are good suggestions, thanks a ton. When someone brought him up earlier, I just said that it was a sad situation that didn't deserve to happen, and that he should rest in peace. I don't really think I'll say anything else about it.

[thomas]

I have had this exact situtation happen 4 or 5 time to me in the last few years (friend of a friend dying), and I usually try not to say anything other than it is sad but if you don't know or like the kid I don't see why you should have to say more.