Guest falloutcollapse Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 tell your good ones! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skumbucket Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 two sausages are in a frying pan. one sausage says to the other one, "boy, it's hot as hell in here!" the other one says, "aaaaah! a talking sausage!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hickey Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says "hey pal, we got a drink named after you." The grasshopper says: "You got a drink named Steve!?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
benchwarmer Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 a chicken and an egg are laying in bed, the chicken lights up a cigarette and says "I guess that answers that question" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottheisel Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 A panda bear walks into a bar. He sits down and signals to the bartender that he wants a club sandwich. The bartender brings it to him, but no more than three bites in, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the bartender in the stomach, before casually strolling out of the bar. The bar's patrons start to freak out and ask the bartender, "Should we call 911?" the bartender calms the down and says, "No, no, no -- that's a panda. He eats shoots and leaves." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hickey Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 ZING!!!! You get a karma point for that badboy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest scriptedrain Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 Hahaha these are great. - Jeff Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lokithelion Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 Three guys are up for a job at the CIA. They're all equally qualified so the hiring board comes up with a plan to weed out the best man. The bring in the first guy and tell him he's the perfect candidate for the job. He speaks and reads arabic, is an expert marksmen and graduated top of his class. They tell him all thats left is a test of loyalty, so they hand him a gun and tell him to go down to the lobby and shoot his wife. The dude tells them "I love my country but I love my wife more. I'm sorry" They tell the dude they understand and call in the next guy. Same story. The bring in the guy and tell him he's the perfect candidate for the job. He speaks and reads arabic, is an expert marksmen and graduated top of his class. They tell him all thats left is a test of loyalty, so they hand him a gun and tell him to go down to the lobby and shoot his wife. Guy number two looks at them horrified and tells them "All my life I wanted to work for the CIA, to serve my country. This is the kind of thing I wanted to join up to fight! Fuck you!" And storms out. The board is obviously thinking they need to rethink their plan as they call in the final guy. They tell him he's the perfect candidate for the job. He speaks and reads arabic, is an expert marksmen and graduated top of his class. They tell him all thats left is a test of loyalty, so they hand him a gun and tell him to go down to the lobby and shoot his wife. He looks at them kind of funny and shrugs and goes down to the lobby. The board, whose listening in via intercom, hears this. "Honey how'd it go? Whats that? OH MY GOD" *BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG* "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" "WHAT THE FUCK?" *CRASH* "AHhhhhhhhhhhhh....." The board gets confused and when the third man enters questions him as to what happened. He tells them. "Guys you wouldn't believe it. Someone put blanks in this stupid gun and I had to beat the bitch to death with a chair!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
riddle350 Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 haha That's funny as shit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrc Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 I didnt think any of these jokes would make me laugh but i was worng. You guys win. And, Wife beating jokes are always funny in my book. Exalt! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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