takingchase Posted May 3, 2009 Share Posted May 3, 2009 Okay, so I'm sure most of you are already familiar with my broken heart thread and I appreciate all the help. I just found out that my ex is doing all kind of crazy ass drugs and drinking all the time. Now when we we got together I was a pothead and I drank. She had a abusive father who drank and did drugs so I gave up everything for her because love was worth it. Well I just found out she broke up with me because she's doing Heroin, exctasy, coke, weed and drinking all kinds of alcohol. What a kick in the fucking teeth. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cadetapplesauce Posted May 3, 2009 Share Posted May 3, 2009 bitches ain't shit but ho's and tricks it'll be fine. just worry about yourself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
casey Posted May 3, 2009 Share Posted May 3, 2009 Let me tell you somehting based on a LOT of experience: Anyoen who does those kinds of drugs has no business being ain a relationship. Good riddance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
punkrudeboy Posted May 3, 2009 Share Posted May 3, 2009 Hell she did you a favor then. Druggies like that are nothing but trouble, be fortunate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
takingchase Posted May 3, 2009 Author Share Posted May 3, 2009 True, it's much easier to swallow knowing she has changed so much. It's like she's not the same girl at all that I fell in love with. She had the fucking stones to ask for me back after everything she's done too. Still, as much as it's easier to swallow. It makes me feel so betrayed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
punkrudeboy Posted May 3, 2009 Share Posted May 3, 2009 True, it's much easier to swallow knowing she has changed so much. It's like she's not the same girl at all that I fell in love with. She had the fucking stones to ask for me back after everything she's done too.Still, as much as it's easier to swallow. It makes me feel so betrayed. She's gonna figure out shit the hard way man, and if shes willing to take drugs over you she's obviously fucked in the head. She'll if she hasn't already will realize she made a big mistake. Take it as a clue to take your other foot out of the door and just move on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
riddle350 Posted May 3, 2009 Share Posted May 3, 2009 Look on the bright side. At least she left you before she started to flip your records for blow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
casey Posted May 3, 2009 Share Posted May 3, 2009 It's funny this came up tonight. My wife and I saw Gaslight Anthem tonight and wea each ran into ex's that we both really regretted dating. On the way home we talked about how easy it is to fall in with the wrong people when you're in a certain position in your life. but we both were so much more appreciative of each other because we learned (the hard way) that the best things don't come easy and that you can only really appreciate what you have when you've had what is the worst for yoou. I hope this makes sense. I'm still kinda drunk. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
takingchase Posted May 3, 2009 Author Share Posted May 3, 2009 It's funny this came up tonight. My wife and I saw Gaslight Anthem tonight and wea each ran into ex's that we both really regretted dating. On the way home we talked about how easy it is to fall in with the wrong people when you're in a certain position in your life. but we both were so much more appreciative of each other because we learned (the hard way) that the best things don't come easy and that you can only really appreciate what you have when you've had what is the worst for yoou. I hope this makes sense. I'm still kinda drunk. This makes perfect sense actually. to this day I feel like I was with her because she made me comfortable about myself. My whole life I have been so uncertain about what I'm supposed to do. I've bounced around schools which never felt right. She accepted me for the poor, uncertain nerd that I am. And looking back I think this is why I fell for her. Because she took me for who I was, I realize that she wasn't right and that I fell in love with the idea of a girl like that and not her. I admittedly took her back(against the advice of everyone on VC) for a few days untill I realized this and broke up with her. I'm glad I took her back though, it really made me feel like I had power over everything to end it myself and not let her ruin me. It still hurt like a motherfucker, but I'm glad I did it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
casey Posted May 3, 2009 Share Posted May 3, 2009 I remember when you first posted your breakup thread and it struck a chord with me because I was your exact age and in a similar situation when I had my worst break up. I had given up so much to be with that girl because she fulfilled one small aspect of what I was looking for (but at the time felt like everything). eventually I built myself up enough to where i felt good every day about who I was and what I was doing. I wasn't looking for anyone, I was just incredibly glad to have found myself...and amazingly I met my wife when I was least expecting anyone. But I was perfectly content with my life. The point is, make yourself first and everything else will follow. I guess this is kind of off topic, but I just kind of had a revelation tonight and felt like sharing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
takingchase Posted May 3, 2009 Author Share Posted May 3, 2009 I remember when you first posted your breakup thread and it struck a chord with me because I was your exact age and in a similar situation when I had my worst break up. I had given up so much to be with that girl because she fulfilled one small aspect of what I was looking for (but at the time felt like everything). eventually I built myself up enough to where i felt good every day about who I was and what I was doing. I wasn't looking for anyone, I was just incredibly glad to have found myself...and amazingly I met my wife when I was least expecting anyone. But I was perfectly content with my life. The point is, make yourself first and everything else will follow. I guess this is kind of off topic, but I just kind of had a revelation tonight and felt like sharing. You sir give me all kinds of hope. Lately I've been feeling a whole shitload better about myself. I've lost 20 pounds since we broke up, I've been exercising and thinking about my life. While I'm still scared about what to do I feel good for once about myself without anyone helping me to that point. I'm still sketched on the whole relationship thing because of it but I'm starting to realize life goes on without her. And I am quite thankful for everyone on VC for lending a helping hand. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
casey Posted May 3, 2009 Share Posted May 3, 2009 While I'm still scared about what to do I feel good for once about myself without anyone helping me to that point. Anyone who can get to this point in their life has an advantage over 98.4% of the world. Be glad for it. If you ever want to chat, pm me. Take care, dude. I'm gonna pass out now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
circlingvultures Posted May 3, 2009 Share Posted May 3, 2009 the day you stop thinking about her with the feelings you feel now is the day you move on. It will happen soon. Focus on you, keep working out, enjoy life. you sound like you have your shit together. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
takingchase Posted May 3, 2009 Author Share Posted May 3, 2009 the day you stop thinking about her with the feelings you feel now is the day you move on. It will happen soon. Focus on you, keep working out, enjoy life. you sound like you have your shit together. I'm starting to feel it now which is helping me out immensely. When I took her back I kept thinking about the girl who couldn't fall asleep until she heard my voice. I realize that's not the same girl anymore and that makes it so much easier to move on. Sure I still miss the girl she was but I know that's gone. When she originally left me I was left so confused as to what happened but now that I have some answers my life is so much better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
circlingvultures Posted May 3, 2009 Share Posted May 3, 2009 That's great man. People change for better or for worse. Unfortunately sometimes people we love take a turn for the worse, but that's their path and you need to let them go through it. The time you have now is the most valuable. Make the most of it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
takingchase Posted May 3, 2009 Author Share Posted May 3, 2009 That's great man. People change for better or for worse. Unfortunately sometimes people we love take a turn for the worse, but that's their path and you need to let them go through it. The time you have now is the most valuable. Make the most of it. Thanks dude. I really do owe a lot to everyone on VC. While I feel like my heart still belonged to her and I took her back I feel like you guys gave me a lot of confidence to stand up for myself. I called her and told her I felt like I was more of her failsafe and side project then her boyfriend and that love took work and if she was willing to work for it I would stick around, she remained silent so I told her to pick up her shit after her final on Tuesday because I was done with this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
punkrudeboy Posted May 3, 2009 Share Posted May 3, 2009 That's great man. People change for better or for worse. Unfortunately sometimes people we love take a turn for the worse, but that's their path and you need to let them go through it. The time you have now is the most valuable. Make the most of it. Thanks dude. I really do owe a lot to everyone on VC. While I feel like my heart still belonged to her and I took her back I feel like you guys gave me a lot of confidence to stand up for myself. I called her and told her I felt like I was more of her failsafe and side project then her boyfriend and that love took work and if she was willing to work for it I would stick around, she remained silent so I told her to pick up her shit after her final on Tuesday because I was done with this. See man yank the balls out and start swinging! Nice job. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
salparadise Posted May 3, 2009 Share Posted May 3, 2009 be glad it happened after you were separated and not while you were dating. playing second fiddle to dope sucks. i spent almost 6 months being begged and bitched at to hang out with my ex at her house a majority of the week, while i had a lot more important things to do at home, but i set them aside and fucked my schedule around to appease her. i frequently found myself coming back to reality after having zoned out from watching tv for hours and hours on end while laying in her bed waiting for her to come out of the bathroom, get into bed, and go to sleep (barring having to be up early in the morning - if i'm sharing a bed with a significant other, i'm going to go to sleep knowing that they're sleeping next to me, otherwise what's the point? where's the comfort?) - you never really know the definition of being alone until you are spending most of your time with someone and most of that time they are too pre-occupied with finding other means of feeling good to pay any attention to you at all. i don't know what the fuck i was thinking or why the fuck i kept up with it for so long. i've essentially lost any lingering interest i had in relationships and sex. relationships because i was treated like absolute garbage when i was acknowledged at all and sex because, well it's supposed to bring you closer together as people in a relationship and all that ever did was cause arguments because certain drugs entirely wreck the bodies ability to come and well dude...shooting dope is exponentially better than getting railed...there's no competition, so why bother? anyway dude, i'm sorry about this. i've been through it, it's garbage. but you can't let yourself hold yourself accountable or responsible for the choices she's going to make. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
intothewild Posted May 3, 2009 Share Posted May 3, 2009 I spent many years in a relationship with someone with an addiction problem. It's easy to think that the person is "choosing drugs" over you. You ask them to stop, see what it is doing to you, them, and your relationship, and yet it continues. For a long time I thought that I came second to alcohol and weed. The thing is, when a person has an addiction problem (whether it be physical, psychological, or both), it's like a compulsion that can't be stopped, even though that person may care about you very much. Anyway, like trivialhirsute said, a person like that needs help before he/she can be in a relationship. And with some people, it's better to just move on than to wait for that to happen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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