robthepenguin Posted March 17, 2012 Share Posted March 17, 2012 Once upon a time, there was a stupid. That stupid decided he wanted to eat peanut butter so he did. It made him good. He felt it. And massaged it. It felt like it was the goober stuff in the fridge that I like so much. I can’t believe that it’s all gone. I need to go to the store and get some more because my cat must have karate chopped the fridge and cat nipped it to death. The only other way out is if I kill my cat, open the rib cage and the mail is here. I have a package from UPS saying that I have a package at the command center. Who does that? Just leaves a package by the mustard saying that I have a package at the command center? That just seems like a waste of money to my buttered bosoms. On Friday I will go to the local book store and look for as many boobs as I can. You’re welcome. I went home to find the cat karate chopped my house. The end. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saxamaphone Posted March 17, 2012 Share Posted March 17, 2012 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hobohunter48 Posted March 17, 2012 Share Posted March 17, 2012 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fschoenleber10 Posted March 17, 2012 Share Posted March 17, 2012 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hipsterasfolk Posted March 17, 2012 Share Posted March 17, 2012 Saw too many wurdz, decided to lawl at cat and ignore OP. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
icecream Posted March 18, 2012 Share Posted March 18, 2012 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
idreamofpunk Posted March 18, 2012 Share Posted March 18, 2012 Rob, are you okay? Do we need to call someone? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robthepenguin Posted March 18, 2012 Author Share Posted March 18, 2012 Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Rob, are you okay? Do we need to call someone? I was bored at work and a buddy of mine was on lunch so I went to his computer and typed this up in about 90 seconds and left it up. He lost his shit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jpearin Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 Rob, are you okay? Do we need to call someone? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yocaseycasey Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 Rob, I will publish anything you write, ever. I am pretty sure you are a genius. Less karate chopping cats, more poopy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yocaseycasey Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 Who does that? Just leaves a package by the mustard saying that I have a package at the command center? That just seems like a waste of money to my buttered bosoms. I still can't get enough of this and it's been 5 hours since I originally read it. Seriously, I will pay you to write me a book. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robthepenguin Posted March 22, 2012 Author Share Posted March 22, 2012 Who does that? Just leaves a package by the mustard saying that I have a package at the command center? That just seems like a waste of money to my buttered bosoms. I still can't get enough of this and it's been 5 hours since I originally read it. Seriously, I will pay you to write me a book. Money for what comes naturally you saaaaay? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yocaseycasey Posted March 22, 2012 Share Posted March 22, 2012 I still can't get enough of this and it's been 5 hours since I originally read it. Seriously, I will pay you to write me a book. Money for what comes naturally you saaaaay? I will literally PayPal you $4 per page (that would be 12 point, Times New Roman, doublespaced, just like college) if you were to write a bunch of short stories for me. That's how much I believe in you. I will get whatever you send me bound and it will be the coffee table book that is always on display. Please call it "Sausage Couch and the Story of Lazer Man" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yocaseycasey Posted March 22, 2012 Share Posted March 22, 2012 See? http://landing.blurb.com/gbm-bind?ce=google_gen_bind&gclid=COuA06nb-q4CFcsAQAodRzfmyg Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jpearin Posted March 22, 2012 Share Posted March 22, 2012 Please call it "Sausage Couch and the Story of Lazer Man" I believe in you, Lazer Man. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yocaseycasey Posted March 22, 2012 Share Posted March 22, 2012 If he writes 1000 pages, that would be $4000 and you guys could record your next album, fully funded by me. But you'd have to call the album "Sausage Couch and The Story of Lazer Man." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GradedOnACurve Posted March 22, 2012 Share Posted March 22, 2012 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jpearin Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 If he writes 1000 pages, that would be $4000 and you guys could record your next album, fully funded by me.But you'd have to call the album "Sausage Couch and The Story of Lazer Man." I love you, Lazer Man. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robthepenguin Posted March 24, 2012 Author Share Posted March 24, 2012 Money for what comes naturally you saaaaay? I will literally PayPal you $4 per page (that would be 12 point, Times New Roman, doublespaced, just like college) if you were to write a bunch of short stories for me. That's how much I believe in you. I will get whatever you send me bound and it will be the coffee table book that is always on display. Please call it "Sausage Couch and the Story of Lazer Man" It will be done! Expect a first draft by the end of the month. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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