nicole

Bare with me. I had all 4 of my wisdom teeth taken out thursday morning and I'm bored and miserable and feel like bitching. The motherfuckers kept getting infected so I suppose it was time. They sent me home with a bunch of narcotics which just turned my stomach and made me puke. I've been known to not handle heavy stuff. So I've been getting by with just Aleve and ice packs. Honestly, the pain hasn't been so bad. But I've been more exhausted than I can ever remember. I feel like I've had the shit kicked out of me. I can't stay awake for more than like 2 hours at a time. And I can't eat any real food. I have horrible lock-jaw. And I haven't pooped in like 4 days

If anyone outside of canada wants the pink one, PM me.

Vacations suck for me. If I have to I will poop in my hotel room but I've been known to hold it 3 days. Desperate urge gets held in or I go home sick. I hope that one day I will be able to experience the phenomenon that is the punched in poop.

While we are on the topic of fleas, everyone needs to know not to buy the over the counter hartz flea shit from walmart/Petsmart/whatever. It's extremely toxic and animals die from it all the time. www.hartzvictims.org

I can't shit anywhere but home. And yes, I also hover in friends houses. If it was up to me if never use a bathroom outside of home ever.

As for the girls squatting and peeing on the seat, I can say that it's not usually us peeing directly on the seat. It's when your squaring above the toilet and your pee causes water to splash up so what's left on the seat is essentially watered down pee sprinkles. Those paper toilet seat covers are a fucking godsend.

I want to stab people when they combine two words to make another word that isn't really a word. Like 'lupper' for a mean between lunch and supper. I actually fuck supper too. It's called dinner. And 'clopen' for when you work a closing shift one night and open the next morning. Stop making up words!!! You can only imagine how I feel about all these dipshits with "designer breed" dogs giving them retarded names like labradoodle, morkie, bashar. Fuuuccckkkk youuuuu. I also fucking hate it when people can't use the debit/credit card machine at work and say stupid shit like 'I don't want cash back!!! Why is it asking me for cash back?!!' It's because you pressed the yes button when it asked you fucktard. 'This thing has too many buttons.' 'Why does it ask so many questions? Why can't they just make all these machines the same? Everywhere you go, they're different!' I like how people act like retail employees are stupid or some how inferior to them when most people can't even read and follow simple instructions to spend their own money. Oh man. And when they don't know their own PIN..... I've notice a 400% increase in my use of the word Fucktard at work in the last 3 months. I think I need a new job.

yes. i'm glad someone mentioned ftw. that shit is so dumb. i also hate when people say smh or face palm. oh my god. when someone says something is 'jokes' i want to throat punch them. thats equally as bad as uttering the word LOL by saying 'lawl'. go die. serisously.

I hate the term 'pet peeve'. And my high school photography teacher used to call it 'pherrtography'.

I worked with this crusty 300lbs middle aged women who went on herbal magic for a year and lost like 100lbs. she was fucking gross, and not because of her weight. just a gross ass crusty ass person. so she goes on this super strict herbal magic thing and loses 100lbs, still leaving her looking like a fat fuck but now with all this skin flopping everywhere (think of the scene from austin powers when fat bastard says his neck looks like a vagina) and she decides that she's hot shit and like everyone else who does that shit, starts gorging after basically not eating for a year. well theres a costco next to my work so she goes in one day and gets one of their smoked meat sandwiches and i had the lonely displeasure of having to take my lunch break at the same time as her. the noises and commentary she made while eating this goddamn sandwich was enough to make you puke. i'm legitimately convinced she came in her pants while eating this thing. she was moaning and groaning and actually shaking while eating it. it was one of the most fucking vile things i've ever experienced and to this day i quiver thinking about it. most people are not even that loud when they're fucking all she did was eat a shitty fucking sandwich. fuck. *goddamn am i a miserable bitch.

i think "memes" as a whole need to stop. in fact, the world 'meme' pisses me the fuck off. if you say 'can i haz...' the only thing you're going to have is my foot up your ass. and nothing shows off your virginity like saying you 'owned' someone at something. or even worse 'pwned.' fuck youuuuu.

Thank jeebus, the buyer closed the case this morning. Tracking shows he should have it by tues at the latest. Seriously though, what a douche for not communicating at all with me and holding up my funds for no good reason.

i swear for the longest time i thought "selfie" meant jacking off. like handie or blowie. dumbest shit ever.

"My bad" THAT MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE! it's your mistake, not your bad. "I died" as in i laughed really hard. "Hater" when my boss asks me if i "planted the seed" or uses other bullshit corporate lingo like "let's connect about this a little later" Actually i hate just about everything that my boss says. "YOLO" when people blame their poorly trained dogs behaviour on "dominance" (a work related annoyance for me) "LOL" when someone refers to food as "orgasmic" "eargasim" when someone calls a guitar an "axe" or tattoos "tats" I feel like i will need to come back and add to this list after my next shift. i really hate my job. and human beings. edit: Borat impressions. seriously. that shit is like 10 years old and wasn't even that funny then. fucking stop.

Congrats!

thanks for the offer. now it's just a waiting game to see what happens. but i seriously appreciate you offering to help. and if this goes sour and you want to punch the dude in the head for me, that would be sweet. in the auction i gave options for the buyer to pick from surface, airmail, or fedex express. he chose surface. all options include tracking, so from my perspective, i honestly couldn't give 2 shits which one he chose. i obviously never expected this as i clearly stated the shipping time estimates. surface was $100, airmail was $220 and fedex was $350. my assumption is that it either wouldn't pay for him to buy a used guitar off the net if it would cost over $200 to ship, or he couldn't read english. or he's a scammer. i seriously doubt i will ever use ebay for anything this high price ever again, and def not international. or i force courier service. if the piece of shit would just send me a message back saying that he will close the case once he gets it, i would be happy at this point. its the fact that he won't respond at all thats stressing me out. its a lot of fucking money!

It shipped feb 18. The last tracking update was at 8 this morning.

I would understand where the buyer was coming from if A) he had contacted me personally first or B ) he wasn't given a tracking number. I still have the post office receipt and the customs form that has the declaration of what's in the box and the tracking info shows that it is steadily making its way to him. For him to not even give me a heads up stating his concern and then to just go and freeze my account is complete BS. The good news is that the guy from ebay told me that once the tracking shows it has been delivered, they will side with me no matter what. It's just that it may take up to 30 days. His claim is that the parcel has not arrived. Not that it's not as described. If I'm not mistaken, he would have to take pictures proving that it's not as described in order to claim that.

yes, i know this is old news.

done

i just need to vent. not only do their rules make no sense, but they must have some of the worst customer service ever. last month i sold a guitar on ebay. the person who bought it is in germany. in the auction page itself i specified that I would be shipping via surface but that the buyer had the option of paying for upgraded shipping if they wanted to. i also said i wouldn't be held responsible for anything lost/damaged in transit. the guy chooses not to upgrade shipping and within 2 or 3 days of receiving his payment (over $600ppd!) i send it off via surface w/ tracking. i give him the tracking number. surface from toronto to germany can take up to 10 weeks. well its been about 4 weeks so of course it hasn't arrived yet, but yesterday morning the son of a bitch opened an ebay case on me claiming he never received it and as a result ebay has frozen the funds in my paypal account making me unable to withdraw them even though i already spent more than $100 of it on postage. the tracking shows that it arrived in his country this morning so nothing is wrong but in the meantime i have $600 of mine up in the air. i called ebay and was blind transferred around by a bunch of people who barely speak english and told that i'd have to speak to someone from the german ebay about having my funds released. i request someone who speaks english and of course the person who picks up only speaks german and hangs up on me. two days and 2 hours on the phone later and i'm still no further ahead. the fucking asshole buyer won't respond to my messages. he'll probably have his guitar in a couple days and i will be out $600 for up to 30 days if he doesn't close the case. how is this fair?

Me too

What's next? Pressing simple plan??? Actually I won't lie. I'd probably buy that.

One more week left to vote. Please keep going!