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so a gay guy gave me a massage yesterday


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keep in mind jailhouse didnt say he stormed out because he was pissed, that would be homophobic. he didnt make a scene, he kept it to himself. he was just uncomfortable thats all. would it make me gay if i went to a message parlor and some chick there made me feel akward for some reason and all she did is do her job? no, it would not.

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you guys are rediculous, its human nature for a straight man to be a little uncomortable with a gay man rubbing his bare back.

Human nature? I doubt it. That's social conditioning.

Is he a homophobic asshole? No, I seriously doubt it. Does our society have a problem dealing with sex and sexuality and does it effect our lives in millions of little ways we rarely even realize? Yes, absolutely, and blaming it on "human nature" (something we hardly understand at all) doesn't get us anywhere.

Dude's not a bad person for being a little uncomfortable; I'm sure a lot of people would be. Hell, maybe I would be a little uncomfortable with a straight man rubbing my back (I'm a gay woman, for those keeping score at home). But we can chalk it up to "human nature" and go on with our lives, or we can push ourselves a little and maybe learn something about what we believe and why. I think that's where real change is going to come from.

That about sums it up.

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You guys are throwing around the word homophobe way too loosely here. Just step back and look at the situation.

Who here hasn't given or recieved a massage that eventually led to sex. Of course everyone has. In our society massages are given both for physical therapy and for pleasure/foreplay. Christ, the happy ending was brought up in the first page of the thread. So basically what the majority of you are saying is that if your body isn't conditioned to tell the difference every time, then that makes you a homophobe.

Bullshit like that is just as bad as the right wing propaganda against homosexuality. People should learn not to be in attack mode whenever a topic like this is brought up.

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what ever happened to good old homophilia?

I believe you mean homofeelya.

AYE-OH!

Also, I'm more comfortable with dudes massaging me (even gay ones) than women. I'm a hairy dude and I think other dudes are just like, "Man that's hair" but I feel women tend to get more grossed out by it.

DUDE, youre like SO GAY!

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Am I missing something? It's not like the guy tied jailhouse up and hand raped him on the back. As stated, the guy was" flaming" so, it can be assumed that this behavior was exhibited before touching commensed. So then, why did jailhouse not just turn around and leave. That way, we could avoid all of this "I'm not a homophobe, I just hate the way they look, talk, act, and God help them if one tries to touch me, I might have to start a thread about it so people I don't know and will never see will know how straight I am."

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Who here hasn't given or recieved a massage that eventually led to sex. Of course everyone has. In our society massages are given both for physical therapy and for pleasure/foreplay. Christ, the happy ending was brought up in the first page of the thread. So basically what the majority of you are saying is that if your body isn't conditioned to tell the difference every time, then that makes you a homophobe.

Okay, I see what you're saying here. Your body responds to physical contact, and it's not "conditioned to tell the difference." But you do have a choice about how you react to that.

So, if a guy gives you a massage and your body reacts and you aren't gay, it makes you uncomfortable. Fine. Why? Because for some reason, we can't just brush that off. Personally, I think its because people can't handle ambiguity when it comes to sexuality.

And if you think about it, the fact that its a natural reaction to contact should directly indicate that there's no need to be uncomfortable about it since, you know, its natural. But we put pressure on people, especially men, to be completely unambiguous about these things. Society tells us that if you're a straight man, you better never have any sort of remotely sexual reaction to any man every, or clearly you're actually gay and secretly want to fuck every man you see. And of course, there's nothing worse for a straight man than if other people might think he's gay.

So yeah, its a little bit homophobic. We're all a little bit homophobic. And a little bit racist. And a little bit sexist. Saying "hey, man, that's a little bit homophobic" is not equivalent to saying "hey man, fuck you you're a terrible person." Not being able to point out mistakes/learn from mistakes/admit you've made a mistake, now THAT'S right wing propaganda material.

I shouldn't be allowed to post in these threads. Sorry for the rant. Again.

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JULES: It ain't no ballpark either. Look maybe your method of massage differs from mine, but touchin' his lady's feet, and stickin' your tongue in her holyiest of holyies, ain't the same ballpark, ain't the same league, ain't even the same fuckin' sport. Foot massages don't mean shit.

VINCENT: I'm not sayin' he was right, but you're sayin' a foot massage don't mean nothing, and I'm sayin' it does. I've given a million ladies a million foot massages and they all meant somethin'. We act like they don't, but they do. That's what's so fuckin' cool about 'em. This sensual thing's goin' on that nobody's talkin about, but you know it and she knows it, fuckin' Marsellus knew it, and Antwan shoulda known fuckin' better. That's his fuckin' wife, man. He ain't gonna have a sense of humor about that shit.

/thread

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Who here hasn't given or recieved a massage that eventually led to sex. Of course everyone has. In our society massages are given both for physical therapy and for pleasure/foreplay. Christ, the happy ending was brought up in the first page of the thread. So basically what the majority of you are saying is that if your body isn't conditioned to tell the difference every time, then that makes you a homophobe.

Okay, I see what you're saying here. Your body responds to physical contact, and it's not "conditioned to tell the difference." But you do have a choice about how you react to that.

So, if a guy gives you a massage and your body reacts and you aren't gay, it makes you uncomfortable. Fine. Why? Because for some reason, we can't just brush that off. Personally, I think its because people can't handle ambiguity when it comes to sexuality.

And if you think about it, the fact that its a natural reaction to contact should directly indicate that there's no need to be uncomfortable about it since, you know, its natural. But we put pressure on people, especially men, to be completely unambiguous about these things. Society tells us that if you're a straight man, you better never have any sort of remotely sexual reaction to any man every, or clearly you're actually gay and secretly want to fuck every man you see. And of course, there's nothing worse for a straight man than if other people might think he's gay.

So yeah, its a little bit homophobic. We're all a little bit homophobic. And a little bit racist. And a little bit sexist. Saying "hey, man, that's a little bit homophobic" is not equivalent to saying "hey man, fuck you you're a terrible person." Not being able to point out mistakes/learn from mistakes/admit you've made a mistake, now THAT'S right wing propaganda material.

I shouldn't be allowed to post in these threads. Sorry for the rant. Again.

ok, I really think people are reading way to into this.

Too many people telling me what I am thinking in my mind, trying to play psychologist.

I will just say it nicely one more time, that I am not in the least bit a homophobe, racist, or whatever else people want to pretend that I said or think.

that should be case closed right there. Think of me whatever you want. But I am saying I am not in the very least homophobic.

If I could take back this original post I certainly would.

I certainly would never want anyone to think I am a hateful, or disrespectful person. That is the last thing I would want anyone to think.

I shouldn't be having to defend myself right now either.

A lot of people on here I think know me much better than others.

If you knew me at all, none of you would be slinging any sort of accusations at me like this.

Maybe things were worded a bit wrong. It was a stupid silly story. That was a story I told my gay friends, straight friends etc yesterday, and they all got a good laugh out of it.

I forgot how sometimes with the internet things don't always come across the way they do in person.

I appreciate the false accusations, and I am glad I gave many of you a good reason to stand on your political soapboxes and make your grandious "I am perfect" speeches.

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I appreciate the false accusations, and I am glad I gave many of you a good reason to stand on your political soapboxes and make your grandious "I am perfect" speeches.

Hey, I wasn't trying to accuse you of anything, I was trying to have a discussion with some people. I don't know you at all. From the tiny bit I know about you from what you post here, you seem like a decent guy. So I'm sorry if you saw anything I posted as an attack on you. It wasn't. Homophobia is an issue that's important to me, and like I said, I was just trying to discuss my opinions with some other people who posted theirs.

No hard feelings, I hope.

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No I understand, I wasn't mentioning you personally either, just in general.

I would just hate to be thought of as anything but a decent person, or at least that's what I strive to be.

No biggie :)

I respect your thoughts and opinions, and we likely share a lot of the same opinions.

I just sucks that I am the one that brought it on with my stupid post! Came out completely wrong.

I appreciate the understanding though ;)

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this is the banner ad for me is for "Gay Chubby Dating"

moderstors, delete this fucking thread.

people think about your fucking posts before you post em. I'm sure jailhouse dude had other intentions than where this thread has gone...but whatever, it's over, loc it or delete it.

/thread.

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this is the banner ad for me is for "Gay Chubby Dating"

moderstors, delete this fucking thread.

people think about your fucking posts before you post em. I'm sure jailhouse dude had other intentions than where this thread has gone...but whatever, it's over, loc it or delete it.

/thread.

I refuse to have this thread locked until one person at least acknowledges the HomoFeelYa joke. That shit was gold!

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I just sucks that I am the one that brought it on with my stupid post! Came out completely wrong.

I appreciate the understanding though ;)

No, its cool. It's so impossible to have discussions on message boards because or just on the internet in general, just because nothing ever comes out quite right when you type.

I will say, though, this hast to be one of the most civil and generally respectful places I've ever stumbled across on the interwebs. So thanks for that, people.

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i just see a joey cape banner at the top.

i remember posting on here about a time that a bisexual friend (who was a guy) hugged me. he made it a long and drawn out embrace. and when i say embrace, i mean embrace. he rested his face between my shoulder and my neck. i expressed how it made me feel uncomfortable and got called a homophobe!

i think there's a difference between feeling uncomfortable because of a homosexual and being homophobic. jailhouse let the guy finish the massage. if he was really homophobic he would've called him a "fag" and socked him or something.

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