Intervention! Intervention!

[hankmurphy]

So, late Saturday night after a party a group of me and my close friends got to discussing one of our friends who has a problem with alcohol and pain medication. He's been lying about eating pills for months and he gets drunk very easily now after drinking heavily for the past 10 years. According to some of our friends there's other signs that his liver is failing, but he's only 27 years old! One of the creepiest things that came out is how he's been obsessed over a bad relationship for almost 2 years now, and has even gone so far as to create a fake facebook account of a girl to make fake posts on his page (What. The. Fuck?). Most of my friends are legitimately worried about him and want to hold an intervention. I'm not so sure.

I've seen interventions on TV, but I've never seen one in real life. I don't think my friend is the type to respond positively to an intervention, and I was the only person out of 8 that was against doing one. I was also the only person there who has actually overcome serious drug problems, and from my experience the guy just isn't ready to stop. I want him to get help, but I don't want to be the one cramming it down his throat and as his oldest friend I'm the one he's most likely to resent.

Anyway, has anyone here ever held or been the focus of an intervention? Any stories or advice that could make me change my mind?

Edit: Also feel free to discuss the fake facebook account because that has me baffled. So weird...

[danthemjfan23]

he has even gone so far as to create a fake facebook account of a girl to make fake posts on his page

this is awesome. i definitely know what i'm doing with my monday night.

[kittenmittons]

It's really sad to say but you're right, he has to WANT to stop what he's doing in order for any sort of intervention to be successful. Not saying I have a severe drug problem or anything, but I've spent the past few months stoned sun up to sundown over a breakup. Some people just take things a little deeper than others. Maybe tackling his emotional problems with the breakup first before stripping him of his addictions might be a better route to take? If he can get over the girl, he should be able to kick the habits that are really doing him in here. For someone to be so fucked up as to create fake fb accounts and shit like that it must've really done a number on him that perhaps even he can't fully grasp the effects of it on his life.

[thebiglebowski]

I only watch the A&E show Intervention. I know it seems stupid to take advice from a TV show but take it or leave it:

It seems like there are two kinds of addicts--Those who want to change but can't on their own, and those who just want to destroy themselves.

If he wants to change, a serious, well planned intervention could be the thing to make him say that today is the day everything changes. He'll probably accept it pretty well. If he is the second type I think you still have the intervention but expect a battle and be prepared to give him an ultimatum of change or don't come around anymore. If you can't get everyone to commit to this, don't do a half assed intervention.

Good luck and I'll repeat again this is just my personal opinion. I have very little real experience with this type of thing.

[mcm1610]

All I know is that you can't at all attack the person ,it's gotta come across as genuine care more than anything else. No ganging up on them.

But this is coming from someone who has a circle of friends that has multiple people checked into rehab and multiple people who should be in rehab.

[themean]

Doing an intervention is like hitting your kid. Sure, there is a chance that it might get you what you want, but it is still fucked up.

Also,

[oakland]

One day my wife told me I was going to lose my job and probably die from drugs. She said I needed to make a choice between the life we have or the life I will have alone if I continued to use. I quit cold-turkey the next day (very, very, very bad idea). In any case, the "intervention" worked.

[oakland]

Also, remember that Courtney Love has always said Kurt Cobain's intervention was pretty much the thing that drove him over the edge. You've got to be really careful and use someone who will help you convey your seriousness but also your love for this person. Telling someone everything that's wrong with them without also telling them how much you love the person they used to be is like handing him a loaded gun in my opinion.

[icecream]

Courtney was one fucked up cunt though so I would think that alone would drive kurt over the edge lol.

[oakland]

Sorry to post and post, but this is a subject I'm very familiar with.

I've never met an addict that didn't want to quit. People who don't use hard drugs don't understand how shitty it makes your life. People like to be high for sure, but that's a very small part of an addict's life. Every drug makes you feel like complete and total shit at some point. It's just like drinking too much. It's like the worst hangover you've ever had multiplied by five with the added bonus that the entire time you're feeling like shit you're also craving drugs.

Also, people seem to think that drug addicts don't know their lives have changed. They do. You see yourself becoming a person you wouldn't trust. You see your loss of sex drive. You see your loved ones looking at you differently and that they are sad when you come around.

It's also physically and emotionally draining to be a drug addict. It is constantly on your mind. Did I take too much? Why am I not able to get high? Am I addicted? It just goes on and on. And waking up every morning in the throws of withdrawal is no picnic either.

So the issue isn't if an addict wants to quit, the issue is whether or not they feel they can. I cannot stress enough how hard it is to go through withdrawals, knowing that there is something out there that will make it stop. Just imagine being tortured for about a week straight with no relief at all. That's what quitting cold turkey is like. I lost 30 pounds and literally could not stand on my own after about the third day. The good news is that treatment centers give you drugs and slowly ween you off, while giving you other medications for depression and sleeping etc. Go that route if you can.