Writers unite

[ohnotherobot]

Anyone else a writer of sorts on this board? This thread is for people who write whatever want to share. OK... GO!

Sex Goes Hand In Hand

Sex is an awkward way to say hello and I couldn’t even get a handshake right. Granted, fucking is like one big, full-body contact type of handshake, yet it is an entirely appropriate and efficient way to say “hello.” Unfortunately for me, my limpwristed handshake pretty much ensured that I wasn’t going to be getting any.

I had read somewhere that you could judge a person on the type of handshake they gave you, that the simple hand-on-hand contact offered a brief intimate glimpse into the depths of their personality. My palms were often clammy and hampered by sweat and my fingers liked to bend in weird directions due to my awesome double-jointed superpowers. People tended to be revolted by my hands so I stopped offering.

I decided to start winking instead. I figured that flirting was the next best way to flush out all the idiots I didn’t want to meet. But that failed too. My winks were grotesque facial ticks that somehow involved my whole face screwing up like I was about to sneeze. And no one feels comfortable saying hello to a seizure victim.

So I decided that sex was simply the only way to say “hello” and that if I was going to be judged harshly I may as well get it over with as quick as possible. Every flaw and foible was on full display. Every scrunched-up ugly face and inappropriate farting noise was all there. Concurrently, I also decided that I wasn’t going to meet anybody new ever again. That and I was going to hoard all my handshakes for myself.

“You need to meet more people,” my friends all said. Who needed more enemies? Especially when they were people I had sex with. I was so disgusted with the process – equating sex to meeting people – that I wouldn’t even touch anyone else’s hand.

One of my biggest problems usually started when a complete stranger would approach me and start chatting with me. I, of course, would have no idea what their problem was until I realized I had likely met them while drunk. Then it was up to me to guess how we had introduced ourselves. The problem itself is with drinking and saying hello – it may be a lot easier to do but it’s done sloppily with zero attention to details – little things like names and numbers.

Despite the drawbacks, sex is still the perfect way to say hello because more often than not it is swiftly followed with goodbye.

[riddle350]

haha dude that is awesome.

I write a bit. The odd thing about me is that I teach myself to do things yet I have no worry about learning the fundamentals. Which is why my grammar and spelling are pretty shit. If anyone cares to check out my writting just click on the link to my myspace.

[nickbuysvinyl]

i like to write, i just have a hard time getting ideas off the ground, either due to something coming up and taking all of my time, or just pure laziness

[riddle350]

i like to write, i just have a hard time getting ideas off the ground, either due to something coming up and taking all of my time, or just pure laziness

I suffer from this a lot.

[boizee]

I'm a newspaper reporter, so I write all the time. Sadly, I once I am off work, I tend not to do much writing, unless it's here...

[jawbreaker]

haha dude that is awesome.

I write a bit. The odd thing about me is that I teach myself to do things yet I have no worry about learning the fundamentals. Which is why my grammar and spelling are pretty shit. If anyone cares to check out my writting just click on the link to my myspace.

My poor grammar, punctuation and spelling keep me from writing as much as I once did. After a number of writing intensive journalism courses and a full-time newsroom internship at our local NPR affiliate, I'm still not confident with the fundamentals.

[Guest scriptedrain]

I love writing.

[flicker]

I have always wanted to be a writer...

...but i dont drink enough...

[martyk36]

I only love you when I’m drunk

I only think about you

When I’m shit-faced

I taste your lips

And touch your….

Hips

And dream of tomorrow

Suds that push up my guts

Hops that roll through the ruts

Of my soul

I’m getting old

And waking up next to you

Even in clear blue

Would make my day.

Then later that night

We’d drink

And fight

Our eyes get crossed

In the light

I wait hopelessly for your taste

And wind up in your embrace

Only to sleep for an hour

6 in the morn

still shit-faced and forlorn

you don’t like me anymore

you never did

it’s really ok

I didn’t like you

After I pass out

Your smile makes me come to

I did like you

I always did,

Never want to go back

Feelin’ like a hack

While I sip this gin

I’ll let you in

But you won’t let me

loneliness, all I see

Will I make the rain fall over me

Or will I jump in the pool

And feel like your fool

Until you give up on me

I only love you when I’m drunk

I only think about you

When I’m

Shit……..faced.

[lawry]

THE WRITING THAT SCOOT HEISEL PRODUCES IS FUCKING AMAZING. HE IS A JOURNALISTIC GENIUS!

[nickbuysvinyl]

THE WRITING THAT SCOOT HEISEL PRODUCES IS FUCKING AMAZING. HE IS A JOURNALISTIC GENIUS!

because of this post, i will now refer to Scott as Scoot

[Guest genericinsight]

this is somewhat tacky but I honestly think this was a really good review I wrote. First and only review I've ever submitted to the 'Org:

http://www.punknews.org/review/6886

Looking back, if I could go in and edit some of it I would - some poor choice wordings in there, at least I think. But for the most part I'm pretty proud of it.

more review samples here: http://www.nodivisionmusic.com (look for reviews done by Barrie - the unfinished Fest diary is not an example, haha)

[steventangent]

i write and stuff.

[riddle350]

I was looking through some of my stuff just now and realize how old most of it is. I really haven't written anything in the last six months or so.

[wayne]

I'm the worst writer to ever of written anything , and i suck at the fundamentals.

For the worst reviews you have ever read ,experience the worst HTML coding, see my old site form a few years ago http://www.angelfire.com/ak5/mightmakeswight/index.html/

[scottheisel]

because of this post, i will now refer to Scott as Scoot

I would appreciate it if you didn't.

[nickbuysvinyl]

because of this post, i will now refer to Scott as Scoot

I would appreciate it if you didn't.

i would have forgotten about it before I had the chance, anyway. So consider it not done

[youarethere]

Yay! I am taking a media and journalism degree. I want to be a sports journalist, but I wouldn't say no to being a music journalist.

Here is a blog I made for stuff the other night...

http://musicwithadifferentsound.blogspot.com/

It has an (in-person) interview I did with The Fall Of Troy ages ago and a review of the new Ef album.

Here is the shitty MySpace page I made for it but changed to the blogspot as I cannot remember the password for the MySpace one.

www.myspace.com/musicwithadifferentsound

[skumbucket]

like someone mentioned on the first page, as a working journalist i also have trouble motivating myself to write like i used to outside of work. that being said, the last six or seven months i've been doing really well. i have a lot of entries up on my new website, which also has contributions from others whose opinion/writing i enjoy every once in a while. it's in my signature or here:

www.soundsalvationarmy.com

sometimes i can get a bit verbose, but i think i'm generally okay. for those that don't like clicking links, here's my lemuria/discount post from last week.

Once upon a time when punk rock was new, the few female performers that made an impact on the scene were often caricatures: Wendy O. Williams of the Plasmatics comes immediately to mind, better known for her exploitation and distortion of her sexuality than for her group’s music. More modern examples like Cinder Block of Tilt and Brodie Armstrong (as with the circle of female performers that drifted in and out of her band, the Distillers, over the acts first several years of operation) have put themselves in a similar position as that damaged legend: simultaneously putting their sexuality at the fore and downplaying it by taking on affectations of their male counterparts when it comes to dress, hairstyle, tattooing, and vocal performance. The result is equal parts sex kitten and violence. Others like Hayley Williams of pop-punk upstarts Paramore and Jemina Pearl of Be Your Own Pet play up their cuteness without shame, likely more as a marketing tool than anything. Others distinguished themselves by operating within a punk scene but not really playing the music (Tina Weymouth of the Talking Heads, Blondie, Chrissie Hynde). Different set of expectations, I suppose.

No matter what era or ethos, it becomes difficult to find prominent female punk rockers that exist within the confines of a group without defining it; most of the above-mentioned groups are known mostly as “chick groups” and are to some extent segregated from it.

About six or seven years ago I was attending the annual CJTR Music Garage Sale, a fundraiser put on in the summer by my community radio station. CD’s for five dollars, LP’s for $1-$2, and thousands upon thousands of pieces to leaf through. This summer I came across an album called, Half Fiction by a female-fronted group called Discount. They are one of a plethora of late-90’s/00’s Floridian punk rock bands influenced in equal parts by the Descendents, Husker Du, and first-wave emo. Performance-wise, they lean heavily in the pop-punk portion of that influence, their songs typically rapid-fire paced with thick, buzzing power chords. They released numerous 7”s on a vast number of labels, as well as three proper full-length records.

But Half Fiction definitely stands out. Their most vital and urgent record laments the life of a directionless early-20’s year-old, the frustrations of a dead-end job and a society that just doesn’t work. Personal tales about being repulsed by the actions of a lover and extreme social anxiety provide a window into the mind of singer/songwriter Allison Mosshart (who now plays in blues-rock dirty duo the Kills). It’s a highly relatable song cycle with only one less-than-perfect number towards the end of the album. While the band was together, Mosshart actively attempted to deflect the usual stereotypes and reactions that come with female-fronted punk rock groups by dressing and cutting her hair in – frankly – very mannish fashions. The band dynamic is very unified; it’s clearly not a star vehicle for the woman at the mic.

Both Discount and Half Fiction were very much on my mind a few weeks ago when I received my copy of Get Better, the first proper full-length album from Buffalo, New York’s Lemuria. Released on the Asian Man record label, it was a cold buy for me. I’d never heard a note of the band’s previous works, having only heard good things about them from fellow music enthusiasts.

Upon first listen, I was a little perplexed. There’s just something a tiny bit off about the group’s songwriting, at the same time straight-forward but subtly quirky. Repeat listens gave me the distinct impression that Lemuria comes off on this record a lot like Discount, only somewhat sedated (and with male vocals). The songs are impossibly cute, especially “Lipstick,” in which singer/guitarist Sheena Ozzella laments on the some-times unfortunate preferences her girlfriend has for kissing/not kissing her. “Yesterday’s Lunch” is an insightful number about how people always think they haven’t got enough until they’ve gotten too much.

Rock music is obsessed with star power and the idea of a front(wo)man being the lightning rod for whatever attention is given to a band. On Get Better Lemuria show a wealth of potential and an incredible depth of songwriting for a young band. It would be a shame if their career went as unnoticed as Discount’s did, gaining notoriety and acclaim only once they’re gone. The fact that their lead singer has girl parts isn’t their biggest selling point.

did i mention that sometimes i'm also long-winded?

[Guest baseball]

I'm a newspaper reporter, so I write all the time. Sadly, I once I am off work, I tend not to do much writing, unless it's here...

I think this is true for a lot of people. I used to be all into computers and the web and stuff when I was young.

Then I got a degree in the stuff, sit in front of one all day, and hardly ever use them or learn anything about them outside of work anymore. I'm okay with that though.

I've written one thing for leisure and it's this:

http://www.punknews.org/review/6203