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I Need To Make Sure I Am Doing The Right Thing.


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ok. so ive vented and explained some of the situation with my friend kate. how ive been into her for a long time etc...

well

one of my closest friends on wed morning, pushed me for about 45+ min about letting him go for her. i told im i was appalled he would even ask me something like as he knows how i feel about her.

then he said this (it was an aim convo):

(11:24:21 AM) **********: well theres another side to this to joe. that i thought about.

(11:24:26 AM) Me: ?

(11:25:19 AM) **********: because it seems like you might be trying to set her up with random guys or whatever and not let her near your friends. but really, shes better off with me than any of them i bet

this dude has betrayed every single one of his friends (with the sole exception of me) so he could go after either their ex, a girl they have history with or something that between friends one should know better and not go there.

i told him that hurt and i didnt approve and i would cut him out of my life completely

she really never has a dude pay attention to her, let alone flirt with her, so she started thinking he was cute etc.

so i that night explained the full extent of my feelings for her and how much she meant to me etc. i laid it all out on the table and told her my feelings about him and her. and how much that would hurt and that @ this stage of our friendship i couldnt deal with the situation.

so heres where my problem lies.

i dont trust him anymore. his statement i posted effectively betrayed that. and his insistence for over 45 min and pushing the topic further cemented that.

im throwing a xmas party, and she is coming as he is, but, with the way she is when she drinks, i dont trust him to not try anything and her to just be drunk and fall for it.

im considering just telling him how i feel and telling him to not show up to the party as im throwing a party he has only shown me i cant trust him in this situation so i would rather him not come and avoid any kind of drama.

am i blowing this out of proportion? should i try to just brush it off and let him come?

any advice?

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But seriously...to me is sounds like you answered your own question dude. Can't trust the guy. I don't know about you, but when someone betrays my trust and breaks in such a manner, I cut them out completely. If it happens that we have mutual friends, I'm still civil with the person...but never as it was prior to the issue.

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Guest kylewilliam

i mean dude, its your party, you can tell whomever you want to come or not to come. if youre uncomfortable with the situation and want to avoid it, tell him not to come.

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Guest xsteponmex
And surely if you tell the dude not to come he's gonna get all pissy and make a big deal of it...but you know what? He fucked you over so why should you care if he gets all pissy? Fuck 'im!

agreed.
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drop the dude all together. If he's screwed one of your friends let alone a bunch, there's no reason for him not to do the same to you.

im with sonix.. someone who will fuck over any one of your friends/their friends, much less a few more will eventually fuck you over. they show no loyalty and therefore cant be trusted.

a true friend will bow out or at least argue their point to you, but will not go through with anything just because they cherish your friendship more...

hope everything works out for ya bro..

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with the way she is when she drinks, i dont trust him to not try anything and her to just be drunk and fall for it.

How will you ever have a relationship if she can get tricked into having sex with someone when she's drunk? Your friend sounds like a dick and all, but seriously, if she has any idea how you feel, and could be 'tricked' into doing something with him, you should drop her too.

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with the way she is when she drinks, i dont trust him to not try anything and her to just be drunk and fall for it.

How will you ever have a relationship if she can get tricked into having sex with someone when she's drunk? Your friend sounds like a dick and all, but seriously, if she has any idea how you feel, and could be 'tricked' into doing something with him, you should drop her too.

he has a point..

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with the way she is when she drinks, i dont trust him to not try anything and her to just be drunk and fall for it.

How will you ever have a relationship if she can get tricked into having sex with someone when she's drunk? Your friend sounds like a dick and all, but seriously, if she has any idea how you feel, and could be 'tricked' into doing something with him, you should drop her too.

not sex, the girl is incredibly monogamous, she gets into relationships and barely talks to other guys, but when she is single and drunk she does like to kiss, and then regrets it afterwards.

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Like everyone else has been saying, just dump the guy. You made it completely obvious about how you feel about her and if he can just blatantly disregard that because he's more concerned about his dick you don't need him. Especially if this isn't the first time he's pulled a stunt like that.

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wait so what did she say when you laid it all out?

wow.

then told me if she felt the same way her life would be so much easier as i offer pretty much everything she is looking for in a guy.

then we made out.

then she said that was a mistake and it shouldnt have happened.

then we made out.

then she said that was a mistake and it shouldnt have happened.

then we went to our respective apts.

then she called me to wish me goodnight and she really appreciates me being so honest with her.

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