Guest kevinb Posted March 6, 2009 Share Posted March 6, 2009 Ok I've realized today I have to pretty damn fucked up relatives Mostly on my mom's side of the family. I have 3 unless and they are all Hugh alcoholics I will share some stories about 2 of them and we will start with Greg. This dude is the epitimy of bad ass, don't give a fuck guy dude is a racist asshole but he dose some funny shit. -One time he went into wal mart solely for the purpose of buying A giant onion. He proceeded to the fresh produce grabbed an onion the size of a fist,stood in the middle of the store,took a bite out of it spat it out on the floor & yelled this tastes like fucking shit and walked out. -Like any great white racist red neck he hates black people One time he was chilling in the parking lot eating a burger (from a fine restaurant I'm sure) and some dude came up with some sub's blaring some bass heavy shit that you can hear blocks away. Dude left his car on right next to my uncle in his molester van and that enraged him. He took his burger threw it in the dudes car and sped off. -This dude fucking hates cops (honestly I don't know who he doesn't hate) Anyway he had gotten pulled over in his home town in which he hasn't been to in 20 years,of course a small predominately white town. The cop walks up to his window he told the cop to fuck off asshole and manged to loose him and sped home. -He looks strait up like Micheal Meyers with a goatee and dale gribble shaded glasses(hank's neighbor in king of the hill) NEXT My Uncle Ron, this dude is a fuckin trip and like his brother is all the above a racist,asshole,redneck that dose some goofy ass shit. This guy is Everything the Dude is from Big Lebowski, except he doesn't bowl, and looks more like krusty the clown. -He will randomly go outside in the summer and fall asleep on my sidewalk, or in the middle of the yard (we have 8 achors) -He works construction so he is always out of work well one time he took his car down to Florida (before his License got revoked) and sold it for beer/weed/hooker/crack money and proceeded to convince my grandparent's that the Mexican mafia stole his car -When you work construction alot of company's give you what is called perdium (sp?) what it is, they give you you're normal pay plus gas money,hotel money, and food money. You can spend it in any way you like. So he and his construction buddies decide they would rather camp out in the woods (no tent mind you) and eat out of the garbage can's of a local restaurant that was near the edge of the woods he and his friends would time it so when the restaurant threw out good food they would go eat. He said that those were some of the best times of his life -He told me he gave a hooker a half a can of beer and .35 for a bj. -One time he drove all the way from Michigan to my house in Ohio for a case of beer Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rock Posted March 6, 2009 Share Posted March 6, 2009 i really enjoyed reading these. ha! i will share a story as soon as a funny fucked up one comes to mind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grammarpolice Posted March 6, 2009 Share Posted March 6, 2009 -When you work construction alot of company's give you what is called perdium (sp?) It's "per diem". It's Latin and means "by the day". It's an amount of money given to cover expenses for a particular day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aarondanger Posted March 6, 2009 Share Posted March 6, 2009 My sister listed lil wayne as her main inspiration in life. Seriously. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dante3000 Posted March 6, 2009 Share Posted March 6, 2009 My sister listed lil wayne as her main inspiration in life.Seriously. Is she hot? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aarondanger Posted March 6, 2009 Share Posted March 6, 2009 She's 10 and likes wayne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dante3000 Posted March 6, 2009 Share Posted March 6, 2009 She's 10 and likes wayne Way to dodge the question! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flicker Posted March 6, 2009 Share Posted March 6, 2009 sounds like a resounding "yes" to me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flood Posted March 6, 2009 Share Posted March 6, 2009 just imagine aaron in a wig..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flicker Posted March 6, 2009 Share Posted March 6, 2009 well, i just came. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
faith Posted March 6, 2009 Share Posted March 6, 2009 My grandpa on my dad's side ditched my grandma and married her sister.. had a son with her. Ditched her and went back with my Grandma. I wonder what's more fucked up, the fact that he acted like that or the fact that my grandma took him back So basically my dad has a step brother who's other brothers and sisters are my dad's cousins. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dante3000 Posted March 6, 2009 Share Posted March 6, 2009 I'm my own grandfather. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcm1610 Posted March 6, 2009 Share Posted March 6, 2009 Hugh alcoholics! I have an uncle that can put down beer like I've never seen and doesn't miss a beat. It's ridiculous, except it doesn't lead to any good stories. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jhamm212 Posted March 6, 2009 Share Posted March 6, 2009 My grandma once faked a heart attck for attention. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
element101 Posted March 7, 2009 Share Posted March 7, 2009 I'm my own grandfather.Love It! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pjaicomo Posted March 7, 2009 Share Posted March 7, 2009 Spelling. Work on spelling. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
davehoffa Posted March 7, 2009 Share Posted March 7, 2009 Seriously. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jedstah Posted March 7, 2009 Share Posted March 7, 2009 Hugh alcoholics! Spelling. Work on spelling. Seriously. QFT! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lechevre Posted March 7, 2009 Share Posted March 7, 2009 I'm my own grandfather. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest smccown13 Posted March 7, 2009 Share Posted March 7, 2009 My uncle has a Foghat tattoo. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest errolwest Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 my grandma is still convinced there is segregation... in Canada(i don't think we had segregation, ever) also, she doesn't like immigrants, but she is one.... crazy lady Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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