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gentlemanly advice


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Not to be all doom and gloom, but while all of the advice given is good, it seems more appropriate to small spats than the "holy shit, our relationship is imploding" crises. If you really think most of it is your fault (not likely), then just put noticeable effort into fixing things that he mentioned. If they've been bothering him enough to cry about it, then he'll definitely notice improvements in those areas. I think the smaller things are nice and certainly make a difference, but depending on the severity of the conflict, it might seem a little trivial. I don't mean to sound all apocalyptic, it's just that I've had those talks before when I've been like "okay, everything's on the table, she knows what the problems are and will probably start fixing them" only to have girls just try to gloss over everything with small and unrelated gestures.

Really, what I mean is: focus on the heart of the problem.

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- send him random text messages for the next few days/weeks telling him you're thinking about him/how much you care about him

- cook him a nice meal

this is sweet. i wish i could text him. he doesn't have it :(

nice meals are the shit. and I am a pretty awesome cook.

put post it notes in secret places

guys like lil things to make sure your thinking about us

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Just be nice, pay attention, and don't go over the top with it.

i'd say, just listen. and you probably know at this point what makes him upset, or when he feels you're acting irrational, so i'm sure you're taking care of that.

next time you're out and aren't talking, just put your arm around his or hold his hand.

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I've grown to hate holding hands. It's annoying. How long is long enough? How short is too short? When can you leave go?

Maybe I'm just old and grumpy at 20.

there's not much to holding hands in terms of formality, i think. you let go when you let go, and take it back up if you want. it's just a nice gesture.

i see things like that acting sort of as a reminder of how it felt in the beginning. it sort of loses meaning if you get used to it, i guess, but it's like..remember the first time that girl grabbed your hand to hold it, or put her arm around yours and how it felt?

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I've grown to hate holding hands. It's annoying. How long is long enough? How short is too short? When can you leave go?

Maybe I'm just old and grumpy at 20.

there's not much to holding hands in terms of formality, i think. you let go when you let go, and take it back up if you want. it's just a nice gesture.

i see things like that acting sort of as a reminder of how it felt in the beginning. it sort of loses meaning if you get used to it, i guess, but it's like..remember the first time that girl grabbed your hand to hold it, or put her arm around yours and how it felt?

We were both drunk and numb, playing King's cup and listening to The Ergs or Fucked Up or something. It felt great.

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there's not much to holding hands in terms of formality, i think. you let go when you let go, and take it back up if you want. it's just a nice gesture.

i see things like that acting sort of as a reminder of how it felt in the beginning. it sort of loses meaning if you get used to it, i guess, but it's like..remember the first time that girl grabbed your hand to hold it, or put her arm around yours and how it felt?

We were both drunk and numb, playing King's cup and listening to The Ergs or Fucked Up or something. It felt great.

haha, yeah thats what i was going for with that little piece of advice

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I always just cut and run, am I missing out?

i hope you don't take offense from this, but i'm gonig to be honest with you for a second.

from the things i've seen you say on this message board about your "relationship" tendencies, you're not ready for the things being talked about in this thread.

but to answer your question, yes, you're missing out.

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I always just cut and run, am I missing out?

i hope you don't take offense from this, but i'm gonig to be honest with you for a second.

from the things i've seen you say on this message board about your "relationship" tendencies, you're not ready for the things being talked about in this thread.

but to answer your question, yes, you're missing out.

Hey, no offence taken at all, I know I'm not a nice person when it comes to the fairer sex. I don't know why I do these things, and I always wish I didn't afterwards

I met this real sweet girl on Thrusday night, then she came out on saturday (last night) all prettied up and looking forward to seeing apparently (She is a close friend of my close friends girlfriend). And I went and screwed it up by hooking up with some chick who liked my T-shirt. I hope I see her again to make it up to her.

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So anyways, back to the topic of the thread, make it obvious you are putting effort to make the relationship work, and that you want it to work. Some of the stuff said i think was a little overboard. Making him food would be a nice thing to do, doing stuff he really likes to do, smaller stuff like that goes a long way than buying him shit all the time. I really think that you just need to make him reassured you want to be in this relationship and you are putting in effort, but don't do all of it, he needs to put in the same amount. Don't start doing everything for both of you, that's not a good relationship.

Also, post pictures of you guys in the that recent picture thread, i like to see people i try and give advice to.

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Also, post pictures of you guys in the that recent picture thread, i like to see people i try and give advice to.

did. &thanks for all of the advice from everyone. we ended up spending a splendid afternoon in a park sitting on a huge log that was laying across a swamp. things are better than they have been since we started dating over four years ago. anyways, thanks :)

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