danthemjfan23 Posted June 21, 2009 Share Posted June 21, 2009 On the first day God created the dog. God said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. I will give you a life span of twenty years." The dog said, "That's too long to be barking. Give me ten years and I'll give you back the other ten." So God agreed. On the second day God created the monkey. God said, "Entertain people, do monkey tricks, make them laugh. I'll give you a twenty-year life span." The monkey said, "How boring, monkey tricks for twenty years? I don't think so. Dog gave you back ten, so that's what I'll do too, okay?" And God agreed. On the third day God created the cow. God said, "You must go to the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer. I will give you a life span of sixty years." The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. Let me have twenty and I'll give back the other forty." And God agreed again. On the forth day God created man. God said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. I'll give you twenty years." Man said, "What? Only twenty years! Tell you what, I'll take my twenty, and the forty the cow gave back and the ten the monkey gave back and the ten the dog gave back, that makes eighty, okay?" "Okay," said God, "You've got a deal." So that is why the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play, and enjoy ourselves; for the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family; for the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren; and for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone. Life has now been explained to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lokithelion Posted June 21, 2009 Share Posted June 21, 2009 I read this to my grand father at the nursing home and he gave me the first honest to god laugh i've heard in a month. Thanks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danthemjfan23 Posted June 21, 2009 Author Share Posted June 21, 2009 i got a good chuckle out of it, too. glad i could help, loki. <3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lokithelion Posted June 21, 2009 Share Posted June 21, 2009 thank you man. dudes got Parkinsons and is trapped in his body w/ few motor skills. its really hard to make him laugh anymore. cheesy though it might be means the world to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
monk0nuggets Posted June 21, 2009 Share Posted June 21, 2009 This is pretty good. I'm going to send it to my folks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
username Posted June 21, 2009 Share Posted June 21, 2009 haha, nice Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
john Posted June 22, 2009 Share Posted June 22, 2009 tl;dr Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
troymess Posted June 22, 2009 Share Posted June 22, 2009 Excellent! I'll be sharing this as well... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest steponme Posted June 22, 2009 Share Posted June 22, 2009 eating is my favorite p art Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tobinownlife Posted June 22, 2009 Share Posted June 22, 2009 thank you man. dudes got Parkinsons and is trapped in his body w/ few motor skills. its really hard to make him laugh anymore. cheesy though it might be means the world to me. I understand this all too well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xxmartinxx Posted June 22, 2009 Share Posted June 22, 2009 One of the funnier "Creation of Man" stories is this (and I'm paraphrasing) : God calls an angel over to look at his new creation... "Check it out," God says, "I think it's my greatest creation!" The angel looks down at it... scratches his head and says, "So what does it do?" God says, "Well, it eats, it sleeps, it shits, it fucks, and it dies." The angel looks at God, bewildered... "How is it different than your other creations?" "They actually worry about it!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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