thebiglebowski Posted January 2, 2010 Share Posted January 2, 2010 Please no jokes. This has me kind of messed up. I started dating this girl in May. She is AWESOME--pretty, nice, sometimes a bit of a firecracker, great sense of humor, the kind of girl who is a girlfriend and a friend. I love her and don't have a single girl in my life that compares to her. Now the downside, she was in an on and off relationship with another guy for 4 years. She broke it off with me in September, went back with him, and then came back to me saying she made a mistake and wanted to try it again in October. We started dating again. Now last week I called her out that something was wrong and she said she needed time apart because she rushed back into a relationship she wasn't ready for yet. She hasn't been single in 5 years and wants to spend more time with herself and her girlfriends. She says she wants to be with me again, but now isn't the right time. I 100% believe what she is saying. My dilemma--I just brought this girl 100% back into my life. We have gone out with my friends, I told my mom I was dating her again and that everything was going great, she talked to my little sister on the phone the other day. I know that if I let her go she will come back to me, but I don't want to set a precedent in the relationship that anytime something is wrong it is ok to just break up for a little bit. I want to work things out. The first time she broke it off it messed me up for a little and my family got protective. I dont want them to get protective again. Right now she is taking time to think. The waiting is torture to me. I have been sending a text message or two a day telling her that I care about her but I don't know if I am helping my cause or hurting it. I don't know if I should keep telling her how much I care about her or shut up and show her that I can give her space without having to end things. If anyone has gone through a similar situation or wants to put themselves in my shoes I'd appreciate it. It feels good just to vent this anyways. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest afsdan Posted January 2, 2010 Share Posted January 2, 2010 advice for life: do not ask internet for advice Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
casey Posted January 2, 2010 Share Posted January 2, 2010 Dude, if she needs that much space, give her all the space in the world. Break up with her. From what you've said, she's the kind of person who doesn't know how to be alone, and if someone doesn't know how to be comfortable alone, they'll never be good for someone else. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thebiglebowski Posted January 2, 2010 Author Share Posted January 2, 2010 advice for life: do not ask internet for advice Really?? I was going to just take the first thing anyone said and go with it...even if it was "fuck bitches...they ain't worth the trouble" I just wanted to vent and figured maybe someone had good advice. It can't hurt to see what comes out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eddieruckus Posted January 2, 2010 Share Posted January 2, 2010 get drunk, go to a strip club, pay 50 for a beej, tell her about it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tributefanzine Posted January 2, 2010 Share Posted January 2, 2010 To be honest you should be "chilled" with your expactations. I used to date a girl like 2 months after another relationship. She was so nice, she listened to to the same kind of music, I made tapes for her and everything was like a "perfect match" when we met but It didn´t work because deep inside she was crying about her ex boy... She did not go back to him but she was not ready to start a new relationship.......And she has been with this guy 4 years like the girl you are talking about....We did not came together and I am kinda happy about it because your situation seems more like an "experimental phase" for this girl! Maybe she has to figure out what she really wants but if she needs too much time, you should kick your ass. You seem to be a honest and nice guy. Do not waste your time on her if she will need "too much time".... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
casey Posted January 2, 2010 Share Posted January 2, 2010 We did not came together Wut? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brotherkyle Posted January 2, 2010 Share Posted January 2, 2010 Been here a time or two before. The torture of waiting sucks, it's like getting punched in the dick. Honestly man, I think if you continue to take her back, you're going to continue getting your heart broke. Maybe I'm wrong, but in my experiences I've learned that birds of a feather flock together and people don't change. I don't know, this is coming from a wounded heart. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tributefanzine Posted January 2, 2010 Share Posted January 2, 2010 We did not came together Wut? Sometimes translation is a bitch..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
siphon123 Posted January 2, 2010 Share Posted January 2, 2010 Give her space, it's what she wanted. Do what you wanna do though, I can see this working out very badly for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tributefanzine Posted January 2, 2010 Share Posted January 2, 2010 A few advices that make sense: Do not write her emails, do not call her, do not text any messages to her... stay away from HER until she is calling you, paging you etc..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thebiglebowski Posted January 2, 2010 Author Share Posted January 2, 2010 Thanks to all the serious posters so far Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goraiders Posted January 2, 2010 Share Posted January 2, 2010 we need dan's relationship advice thread back Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 2, 2010 Share Posted January 2, 2010 Not trying to be an asshole, but you're fucked. I don't think I've ever seen this situation work out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blueeyedtheory Posted January 2, 2010 Share Posted January 2, 2010 Yeah, I pretty much agree with Rad here. My only bit of advice is to give her the space, but don't cut off your ties with her. If you do that, she's probably gone for quite a while, or until she gets lonely again and comes around to fuck with your head for a little while longer. So, instead of texting her and telling her how much you care and all that, CALL HER, and see if she just wants to chill. Nothing big... just see if she wants to grab some dinner with you, or if she just wants to come hang out and watch a movie or listen to music or play some video games. Also, get some friends together and go bowling or whatever, and invite her along. Stop putting pressure on her to settle down, and just let her know that you're still there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thebiglebowski Posted January 2, 2010 Author Share Posted January 2, 2010 I just met up with her an hour ago. We agreed to take a month off and come back together and see how we feel (not necessarily get back together in a month, just see whats changed). It's going to be hard not to call or text her but I know I need to. It's hard to explain in words but I think this is going to end up being the right thing to do. She was pretty reassuring in that she wanted to be single, not dating other guys. I know I could still end up getting burned as a bunch of you have pointed out but I like this girl enough to take the risk. I knew she was risky from the day that I dated her and I've always felt that she was worth the chance. Thanks again for the advice and we'll see what happens... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brotherkyle Posted January 3, 2010 Share Posted January 3, 2010 good luck man Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jurrobear Posted January 3, 2010 Share Posted January 3, 2010 As much as you love this person, she sounds very unstable when it comes to a relationship. I hope that everything works out for you. I was in a relationship with someone like this for 3 years. Its stressful knowing that you love someone so much but in the end they are driving you away with there indecisive attitude. I hope everything works for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
selfreliable Posted January 3, 2010 Share Posted January 3, 2010 Best of luck man, been down this road before. I got burned bad, but I hope for your sake, you dont. Every person is different, so while I may have been lied to, your girl may be telling the truth. From how I live my life, dont get your hopes up, if it doesnt work out, you were already expecting it. If it does work out its that much greater cause you already gave up hope on it. Dont pine over her though dude, though some records on, go out with friends and have some fun in this next month. Expect nothing, and you will never be disapointed in life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thousandjulys Posted January 3, 2010 Share Posted January 3, 2010 you seem very level-headed about this. just don't get up your hopes too much. good luck!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melvinscam Posted January 3, 2010 Share Posted January 3, 2010 get her pregant, then she'll have to stay. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
partysmasher Posted January 3, 2010 Share Posted January 3, 2010 stop texting her, let her get in touch with you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eddieruckus Posted January 3, 2010 Share Posted January 3, 2010 get her pregant, then she'll have to stay. best advice in this thread Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danthemjfan23 Posted January 4, 2010 Share Posted January 4, 2010 we need dan's relationship advice thread back hahahahaha i forgot all about this thread. but hellz yeah we do! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimmythescumbag Posted January 4, 2010 Share Posted January 4, 2010 Go bang her sister or her best friend, or both. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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