-tess.

I just read the whole shower fart thread. GOLD

The whole pill bottle thing makes so much sense. I mean. Planes always just smell like a culmination of every passengers ass gas. As far as shower farts go? I've tried. But have any of you ever had the issue where it feels like you need to fart but it kind of just sucks back in? It's like the fart retreats. This is what happens when I attempt the shower fart.

Done!

Cholly made me look cooler than I am. You are so incredible. Thanks so much, dude!

Ugh. Braces are definitely the worst dental pain I've endured. The power chains made my mouth feel like goo

I am a Harry Potter fan girl. But seriously? The prices on these are out of control. No thanks

Seeing her on the 26th if you want me to try and pick one up.

Love love that first one!

Hi Santa. <3 You're probably wondering, "who is this -tess. and how do I santa?" Well. I can answer one of those two questions! >>>>> Who is -tess? (Short for Tessa!) Occupation // Flight attendant. I am up in the air more than I am home. Age // 27 years young Home base // SF. Fog is my soul weather. >>>>> Photography // I shoot film. 35mm and 120mm. Some of my favorites: Rodney Smith, Francesca Woodman and Graciela Iturbide. Art // I work mostly with India ink lately! I love it as a medium. I would love to get into watercolors. I love supporting artists and I have several limited edition prints and originals of artists I admire. Books // Harry Potter FOREVER. Moving on....I read a lot with my job. I read a wide variety but most recently I have been reading collections of essays and short stories. Some of my favorite authors include: Dave Eggars, Miranda July, Lydia Davis and Paulo Coelho. Always a fan of stuff put out by McSweeney's. Music // You can check out my collection here . I have a fairly small (growing) collection. Some of my favorite and most anticipated / surprised by releases of 2015 were/are from Chelsea Wolfe, Noah Gundersen, Sufjan Stevens, Susanne Sundfør, Tei Shi, and Caspian. Some artists that I always enjoy include Junip, Wye Oak, This will destroy you, Phox, Haley Bonar, Horse Feathers, and the Great lake swimmers. Most recently listened to Half Way Home by Angel Olsen. This is a very vague list, but maybe it will give you a snippet of my taste. Movies / Shows // Anything Wes Anderson, The Perks of being a Wallflower, Away we Go, Amelie and the Tree of Life. Parks and Recreation, Parenthood, Arrested Development and the Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. >>>>> Random Bits I LOVE ETSY. // my profile Favorite color // blue Favorite animal // fox instagram // photos // deadformat // last.fm And there you have it! Hopefully this helps. Honestly, if you put any thought into it whatsoever I will be thrilled. I am just so thankful to be part of this again. Let's have fun and spread the Christmas cheer. <3

Haha This really is a thing.

Srunk

I honestly couldn't tell in his photos! Ya. No teeth. I don't usually judge people on account of things like that but from the looks of his face it looked like he used to do meth or something. That's the thing with online dating. You just don't know till you finally meet up. If I had just met him in person it wpuld have been different. You know? I do think OKC is generally a better crowd than tinder. Just in my experience.

Holy shit. Exhibit A. I met up with a guy that turned out didn't have any bottom teeth and was unemployed. I thought that was bad.

hell if I fucking know. Haha. That's for reminding me! Honestly I make time for people I care about. So I think with the right person it could work. But people just don't have patience nowadays. There is a buffet of girls available tonight on tinder and I'm like.... See you in a week! They lose interest. Sorry if this sounds emo. Just the truth. I've done a shit ton of online dating the last year. I just can't deal with meeting people that aren't what they represented anymore. Which is why I'm more inclined to meeting people in person.

So the girls are just crazy? I'm confused.

In my experience ... 60/40.

There is the desensitizer thread for that. Sheesh.

I hate online dating. Then again. I hate dating. So...

Hey Santa! Sorry for the delay. Currently on a trip (I'm a flight attendant) and without a computer. Don't want to type this all out on my phone! Will post on Sunday! Forgive me.

I'm so sorry Charlie.

Ugh. Moms. Seriously. Eat food.

Virgin America. Shhhhh.

Badass. Also. I officially got the 5th of October off. Coming to the PDX and SF Caspian shows.

Oh god. Please don't vomit everywhere.