Need Work Advice Please..stressing out

[nicole]

I will try not to babble too much here, but this will likely be an essay.  Thank you if you do read it.

I have been working for the same company for just over 3 years now.  Without going into too much personal detail, I am employed full-time in a retail store, but my specific position holds quite a bit of weight and responsibility.  For the past year and a half I have been horribly unhappy there.  I planned to quit more than a year ago but never quite found anything else I was interested in, so despite my misery, I stayed put.  I make crappy money and work crappy hours (usually close then open the next morning, then repeat) but at this point I have earned some seniority and managed to weasel my way into certain comforts that are generally unheard of in retail, like guaranteed fridays and saturdays off.  The bottom line though is that if for no other reason, I cannot financially afford to stay here in the long run.  I think that that thought alone greatly contributes to my misery.  For the amount of time I've been there, I make a pitiful wage (roughly $1 above minimum) and despite bringing in tons of sales, I'm told that I am at the top of my pay grid and thats just the way the company runs.  Once a year I get about a $0.40/hr raise.

Well I've been consistently looking for new work and despite getting a few offers, stayed put because they were all equally shitty with less hours and no benefits.  Over the course of my morale dropping, I had a few conversations with my store manager to let him know what I'm feeling, and why and that while I wasn't giving immediate notice, I wanted him to know that this is the beginning of the end for me so that my eventual notice didn't come as a huge shock.  He seemed understanding and appreciative of my honesty.

The way that my position works, I am one of only 2 people in the store that does what I do, and I am personally booked in for 6 weeks ahead at any time- another huge contributor to my stress load: the feeling of no escape.  I explained this to my manager, feeling like I couldn't even get a new job, while giving adequate notice here.  He said that I wouldn't necessarily need to give 6 weeks notice, but 14 days is a bear minimum and more would be ideal.  As much as possible.

Earlier this week I went for an interview with another company that is known to take fantastic care of their employees.  I interviewed for what will be part time to start but can develop into more easily with hard work.  The starting pay is the same as I make now.  The problem is that because the company receives tons of applications, the hiring process is less than reasonable.  For example, they called me at 11am on tuesday and asked me if I could come in at 2:30 that day for my interview.  I was on my way to work and convinced them to let me come in the next day.  I had to lie to my boss and tell him I had a Dr. appt to go to.  Well the interview went fairly well overall and they have been calling my references, but the person who interviewed me was a huge bitch and didn't seem to be in the least interested about the fact that I would need to give notice.  I said I would have full availability once I am done, but she didn't even acknowledge me saying that.  She said that if I get the offer I would have to come in THIS WEDNESDAY for an orientation.  I know that with this place if I say I can't, then I've blown my opportunity to get my foot in, but I don't want to burn the place I work for now.  And I'm fully expecting that I won't even hear from them until tuesday either way.

So what do I do?  Go into work on tuesday and tell my boss that I going to do my best for him but I already can't be there the next day?  I'm majorly stressing out here because I feel like I am either going to blow my chance, or burn my boss and the stress is bad enough that it's making me hope they don't even offer me the job, even though I really want it, and really need out of where I am.

What should I do?

[Subdomestic]

Sounds like you weren't too impressed by the person who interviewed you at the new company. After that experience, are you still interested in working for them? Would she be your supervisor?

 

If you are still interested in jumping ship, then I - if I was in your position - would make up another excuse for my existing employer to attend the orientation to make sure everything really clicks. A doctor's appointment, dentist appointment,  a "family situation", sick cat, or whatever. I don't know how many follow up questions get asked when you're telling them you can't come in, but it's probably minimal? Anyway, at this point you'd have the offer so you have one foot out the door at your existing employer and into your new place. There's always an emotional attachment to your employer when you've been there for a while but it's just business. Employees come and go and he should appreciate that you've already been honest about your intentions.

 

It's hard but I wouldn't stress too much about something that hasn't happened yet. Worry about the offer if/when it actually happens.

 

Good luck with whatever happens and whatever you choose!

[Satan]

 

 I said I would have full availability once I am done, but she didn't even acknowledge me saying that.  She said that if I get the offer I would have to come in THIS WEDNESDAY for an orientation.

 

I personally don't like this one bit. Any company who can't allow you to put in a 2 week, or any kind of notice (and blow off a future reference) wouldn't be a company I would want to work for. I was in a situation where a company asked if I could start immediately, I told them no because of that. They respected my wishes.

 

I'd personally tough out a few more weeks/months until you find something that you're completely happy with.

[nicole]

Sounds like you weren't too impressed by the person who interviewed you at the new company. After that experience, are you still interested in working for them? Would she be your supervisor?

Thanks for the advice.  I really do appreciate it.  I think she would be one of my supervisors.  The situation is a bit more complicated.  This company has a location very close to me that I interviewed at last year.  Everyone was very nice and I killed the interview.  They wanted me to come in for a final interview but similarly called me the day before they wanted me to come in.  I was already scheduled to work and really wasn't comfortable screwing around on such short notice. I explained that and asked if I could book for a few days later and was told no.  They did this to me 4 times I think before sending me a rejection letter.  I have been kicking myself ever since.  I've gone back in to reapply about 3 times now and though they are still pretty nice, they are acting as if I burned them in some way and are unlikely to call me again.  They're acting as if I worked there for a week and quit or something.  Stupid.  So the location that I interviewed at this time is about 30 minutes from me and I'm overall not impressed with the store or management at this point but still hoping I can get in, and then maybe eventually transfer to the one I want to be at.

[carrowsmith89]

Wow, your current work situation sounds miserable, and I feel for you. I wouldn't worry too much about how your current employer would feel about taking days off anymore. Take a chance and go for the new opportunity. Sure, there are risks either way, but you should go for it. If you have to take another day off from work, just say that you have a follow up with your last doctors appointment. This way the supervisor cannot ask to many questions since it would be really personal, and he should know that. It's not good to keep lying, but I think it is appropriate here if it is not something that you commonly do for days off.

 

As for the new company, I'm sure that they would understand about the start date, as long as they know about your current work situation. You can also say that you would usually have to give 6 weeks notice, but you talked to your supervisor, and were able to get it all the way down to 2 weeks. This could show them how good you are with dealing with issues and how you can come up with solutions. Plus, it shown them that you are really determined to get the job. Many times there are more decision makers about a position then the interviewer, so hopefully that is the case here.

 

Best off luck to you, and try to take it easy.

[cbbrew22]

Do you have any money saved up? It's obviously ideal to have a job lined up before you leave the last one but sometimes you just have to get yourself out of a bad situation.

If you have doubts about this new one then it might be good to hold out a little longer. If you are worried about burning a bridge at your current place and don't mind holding out a little longer, you could let them know you are ready to start transitioning out, you can start saving up as much as possible, and then once you are done over there you can fully commits lol your time to looking for the something best suited for you. The old job might even be cool with you taking personal time for those last minute interviews if you keep them up to speed and communicate properly while also staying longer than the minimum required two weeks.

[Family Friendly Rap God]

I was in a similar situation almost a year ago exactly. I took a step back and gave up money to move to a better company with better growth potential. A year later Ive been promoted and I'm making more than I was at the other job. Think it through and do what's best for you future.

Also, any company that doesn't respect your wish to give a proper notice doesn't sound too reputable. That might be a possible red flag.

[Shitty Rambo]

I work for the railroad, which I know is very different from retail, but our hiring process is basically the same as this new company you interviewed for. They tell new hires at the interview that this is a bad job, especially if you value your time. You have to work any shift day or night (mostly outdoors regardless of the weather), including holidays, and more than likely won't have weekends off for the next 40 years. They're very strict about missing work or showing up late. The upside, we make great money and have really good benefits. What I'm trying to say is that sometimes that unprofessionalism isn't necessarily a red flag, they're letting you know what's up and how things operate. It sounds like you're a good worker, and I'd even suggest starting at the crappier store so you can bust ass and work your way up faster. If you have to take a risk at your current job (which makes you miserable) by missing work to potentially make more money at another company you'd rather work for then take it. Worst case scenario you don't get the job, lose your current job, then collect unemployment until you find something worth your efforts, but even that seems like a very low possibility.

And like Subdomestic said above, it's just buisness. You may inconvenience your boss by bailing out without notice but you're not completely screwing them over. Their job is to be there in case stuff like this happens and to deal with it, don't feel like you owe them anything. If you're friends outside of work, then they should understand, if not then take care of yourself first.

[8ight]

If you want this new job and they are requiring you to start immediately, just quit the other job right away. Two weeks notice is a courtesy, but it's not necessary. It seems that you've already told your boss that you're looking for new work. If you aren't able to give them much notice ahead of time, so be it. 

 

And on a completely different note: I always tell people this when I hear about them looking for work. Look around for production/manufacturing jobs around you. It might be slightly harder work compared to other 'entry-level' jobs (physically), but you'd probably be looking at $15+/hour to start with at least 40 hours a week. Where I work, most guys are making near or over $20/hour after three months. Plus, depending on the size of the company, moving up can actually be pretty easy if you have a good work ethic or a bit education to give yourself an edge. 

[kjkenney]

that is a sticky situation, but I am a firm believer, after not practicing this for the first 5 years of my working career, of keeping those bridges there if shit ever hits the fan and you need to go back to a job where you are seen as a beneficial asset, rather than constantly starting over. So for your current job, I would really recommend just being straight up and honest with your boss. Tell him that you interviewed and are really interested in the job and describe the situation. If you are honest, people can be more understanding than you think. Making up excuses and trying to play a double life to keep both jobs happy is just going to be more stress created in the end. If your boss really values you at your current job you should ideally be able to reach a compromise, since it sounds like the new job will not. Some companies handle hiring oddly in that they wait until the last second to hire a replacement for someone and realize if the newbie doesn't start right away, then their productivity can be affected. This is their bad obviously, but if you are going to start working for them then those seem to be the breaks. Good luck in whatever happens, I hope this new job will at least be something you enjoy! Being burnt out at a job is never fun and is extremely toxic to your health. I lived in misery at an office job for 6 years before finally throwing my arms up and getting a job at a record store, which I am no longer at, but it showed me that doing something you enjoy is worth far more in the long run than seniority and pay, as long as you can live off the pay of course.

[nicole]

Alright guys. Thank you all for the advice. After watching my phone anxiously all day today, I finally got the call just before 8pm asking me to come to the orientation tomorrow afternoon. Real smooth organization....

I told my boss that I need to drive my mom to a special doctor appointment and that I'll be in late.

I won't see him again until Monday by which point he will probably have forgotten about it anyways. I will then give him notice. But I'm still quite nervous as I've never really given adequate notice to any of my previous employers. I've always kind of left with a 'fuck em' attitude. But I obviously want to do things more maturely this time around. How do I tell my boss that I'm giving notice?

[Subdomestic]

If you've already mentioned to him that you were unhappy and considering other options then I would use a reminder of that to start the conversation. Thank him for the opportunities that the company has provided over your three year term but you've found an exciting new prospect and you want to see where it takes you. Wish him and the company all the best going forward. You might also have to submit something in writing?

 

I hope your new place is actually giving you the time to do a proper two weeks notice. That would definitely help maintain a good relationship with your old workplace on the way out.

[Grimescore]

Just be completely honest when you give your notice in, I worked in the onsite Human Resources department at my last job and had my fair share of notices handed to me. Just explain that you can only really do 'x' weeks as you need to start the new job and offer to make your last weeks productive by ensuring that someone can take over your position easily or complete as much of your tasks as possible so you don't leave behind a job that may be potentially difficult for someone to pick up.

 

Truthfully, notice periods are only in place for such reasons and are really only so that you don't leave on a 'fuck-em' attitude if you need references at a later date so don't feel that you're obliged to do it. In the end, you're number 1 and if that means you have to do a shorter notice so you can move into a job that doesn't give you constant misery then so be it.