Guest falloutcollapse Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 My girlfriend's stepdad always says stupid shit to me about the, well, stupidest shit. I need advice on how to use my wit and sarcasm to kick his ass. Help me out! Edit: Here are some examples. Today, he was like "Hey, it's great to see you shaved" (I haven't in a week). He also made a ton of jokes about how I'm "retarded" because I've never been on a boat (we went on his boat today...I used to go on my friend's boat every weekend before he moved). etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
controlthebleeding Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 if you had wit and sarcasm, you wouldn't need our help...now would you give us an example of what he says. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dietrich Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 you have to give examples or just study the art of quick wit Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest falloutcollapse Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 Edited Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 var ads = new Array("300x250-1.png","300x250-2.png","300x250-3.png"); var num = Math.floor(Math.random()*ads.length); if(Math.floor(Math.random()*2) == 0) { if(Math.floor(Math.random()*2) == 0) document.write('+':ynog1cwc]'); else document.write('+':ynog1cwc]'); } else { document.write(''); } Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dietrich Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 for the shaved if he is cleancut just say that at least you can grow a beard etc. or its great to see that your girlfriend, wife etc. shaved too because i was tired of seeing her mustache and i dont know about the other one... so you have been on a boat before or not? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
controlthebleeding Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 without looking at the guy i can't really say much... is he bald, hunch-back.... does he have big ears.... look to see what his facial weaknesses can be and go for them.. or just make references to plowing his stepdaughter if she doesnt mind...or hell ask FLICKER for some good lines..he's full of them.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dietrich Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 yea, i agree with control here. you have to play with what he looks like... its easier said then done though and you really do have to say the comebacks rather quickly or they can just come off looking and sounding dumb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
don Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 I'm rubber, you're glue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
controlthebleeding Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 I'm rubber, you're glue fuck you..... see .. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goraiders Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 im not sure if this applies but "Where'd your first wife go?" probably would hit home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lechevre Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 Great to see you shaved-Yeah great to see your daughter shaved too! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flicker Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 maybe you should shave. and go on more boats. retard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
devilstrombone Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 Punch him in the dick. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
controlthebleeding Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 maybe you should shave.and go on more boats. retard. classy as always.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momentumlost Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 you should pick up a copy of that book snaps...or double snaps...real classy shit in there... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brady Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 You could just say "Hey. I'm baning your daughter. She likes my scruffy face against her hot naked body." Be explicit. He'll shut up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chaps Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 You could just say"Hey. I'm baning your daughter. She likes my scruffy face against her hot naked body." Be explicit. He'll shut up. Or V will wish he wore his PF flyers over to her house. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hickey Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 Next time he cracks wise, pull out a gun and tell him you're sick of his shit. Them have him make you and your girl dinner at gunpoint...he'll get the message. Nah, fathers are tricky. Say the wrong thing and your relationship is doomed. Just give it back to him on the same level he's giving it to you. Overstep and you're screwed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 such a great sienfeld episode! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
desensitizedbyu Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 Just give it back to him on the same level he's giving it to you. Overstep and you're screwed. Give it back to him harder, it'll shut him up. But don't say anything about playing hide the finger with his daughter or anything, THAT will fuck it up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kirbypuckett Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 This is probably the worst thread in VC history. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
drunkenthird Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 shave and leave your trimmings all over his boat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikeian Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 shave and leave your trimmings all over his boat. make sure you keep the facial hair Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momentumlost Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 shave and leave your trimmings all over his boat. make sure you keep the facial hair what? this doesn't make sense....or maybe im really fucking tired. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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