how are you supposed to deal with a broken heart?

[thedavidescapeplan]

I've been there, buddy. It sucks. I know you'll be able to get through it. It will be tough, but just try and be productive. Plus this board is a fun place to be.

[silentgods]

get drunk one night, drunk drunk. but not holy alcohol poisoning batman. don't make it a habit.

listen to a lot of Dio.

or alternatively music that makes you psyched up or whatever, for me it was Dio and viking metal. but whatever floats your boat.

keep your mind occupied at all costs, keep as busy as possible. i cannot stress that enough.

at least thats what i did after my ex-fiancee dumped me in the middle of kentucky on my way to moving back to michigan on the phone. after i quit my job.

anyways, you're young and pain just doesn't last that long. it feels like an entity moving around inside you now. but it gets better. time heals all.

just keep yourself occupied and not thinking about what if i did X differently or done Y more. thats the mindkiller right there.

anyways.

best of luck brother.

[flicker]

fuck her best friend / little sister.

[swaty327]

Same thing happened to me last year and just got better a few months ago. We were engaged after 4 years of dating. I was fucking devastated and she was too. We're back together now after being separated for 4 months. My advise is to find something new or different to focus on, new music, etc. Don't do anything you'll regret later (intentionally spite her or generally fucking her over as revenge). Things will get better, but it takes some time, and everything will probably suck for a while. The shit that you enjoy now will probably seem dumb and pointless for a bit. You have to find something that makes you happy and do it. I couldn't listen to any of my favorite music because she loved it too, so I got zune Marketplace and found a shit ton of new music. That shit helped make it better. Then I started buying vinyl, something that I had been wanting to do for years. Well theres a bit of my emo ass story of how I found VC. Drinking can be a good thing, but do it with people who know whats going on so they can take your mind off of it instead of people that don't know shit about the situation and are dicks. I almost beat the fuck out of somebody for doing that. Do it to try and have fun, not by yourself. Thats a shitty road to go down. Good luck man and I feel for ya, I know how it feels, even though that may feel like complete bullshit coming from a stranger. It certainly didn't help me out at the time, but hopefully you'll fare better than I did at first.

[controlthebleeding]

I was going to say something, but i think Loki, Sammy, and Dante, in a combined effort, said it best. We're all here for support if need be.

[takingchase]

I don't know what to do. I'm breaking down looking at pictures of us. I'm fucking crying my eyes out. I just don't know where it went all wrong. I hate this shit so much.

[coldsnap]

I've been there too. got my heart broken about 5 years ago, and that same day she broke up with me, i cried for atleast 4-5 hours straight and i couldn't stop, i never thought a broken heart was that painful until that day. i was so lost, and didn't know what to do with all that pain. anyways, i won't go through all the details and what the story was after that, even tho that is the part that fucked me up even more and almost led me to suicide. wich, i'm happy i didn't end up there, cause i realise that life deserved me more than that fuckin c*nt. so you need to go out as much as you can, you bmx, skate? i know on my side, i was riding as much as possible even tho i was depress as shit. and you need to cut the bridge with her, cause if you don't, you'll just get hurt more. it's gonna take some time, but you will get over her, it took me a little more than a year to get over my ex, but i didn't have all the support from my family, wich i'm sure you have, so hopefully it's gonna take less time than it did for me. and trust me, it will get better sooner than you think.

[Guest falloutcollapse]

Damn dude, I'm really sorry to hear that. Just remember that we are practically an internet family, and if you just waste all your newfound time here, you'll be alright

[takingchase]

Thanks guys, she just texted me a few times and I'm feeling even more like shit than before.

[cadetapplesauce]

i've been broken up over a girl before (though my life wasnt rearranged so drastically). we dated for three years and some months, but it didn't really END until i found out she (an 18 year old) was messing around with guys 5 years older than her (who would completely stop talking to her just a couple of weeks after), and completely taking advantage of our friendship. it totally sucks, and i couldn't talk to her and not feel like i wanted to be with her. all i can say is time is what you've got on your side. involve yourself in something that takes your mind off of her. you're better off being productive rather than focusing on what's gone, or what doesn't matter to someone else. talk to some other girls. think positive.

it's not your fault she left, and i know you know you did nothing wrong. you can search for reasons and bend the truth and try to make it seem like it's your fault, but they're all false. it's her. if she decided it was time to move on, it's her choice, and she's the one who fucked up. don't participate in her games.

[takingchase]

Thanks cadet. It really helps to hear all your experiences but it still hurts so fucking much. She had the gull to look me in the eye and tell me I was a perfect boyfriend while she broke up with me. Which is why it hurts so much more becaues I honestly don't see any fault in what happened. I treated her like a fucking princess. I cooked for her every night, I was always there for her. We never even really fought. I don't know what went wrong. I was good to her in every way because I finally found someone who was deserving of me doing those things. I'm not gonna lie I can be a sarcastic douche but I never was to her because I finally found someone deserving of being nice to.

[cadetapplesauce]

things will turn around, dude. trust me. just think positive, and if you have any temptations to talk to her, don't. more likely than not, you'll just feel worse than you did before.

[takingchase]

See, I just want to talk to her so bad. I just want to fix this. I know I shouldn't but fuck I just want her back.

[bruins4ever]

I'd turn my cell phone off and watch something that'll get your mind off the situation. Listen to the music that makes you happiest, regardless if she liked it to. Tomorrow, get out of the house and take a walk in a park or head to the closest body of water and chill there for a bit. You have to make sure that you don't overthink things... if she said you were a great boyfriend she'll realize what a fool she was very soon and if you want to get back together again, you'll be able to.

My current gf kinda did this to me back in October. I went from Ottawa to Sudbury (7 hours by bus) while I was on my last coop term. I got up there on a Thursday, she told me on Friday night, and I headed home on Saturday. I sat on a bus by myself for 7 hours back to Ottawa just stewing in it. I had to turn off my phone, and as soon as I got back to Ottawa, I found a few buddies and we went out, and I didn't talk about it for at least a week. I just hit the gym and went running every day, I made sure that I was only home for about 3 hours a night and I just powered through it. It was the worst situation of my life (2.5 years gone right there) but slowly we figured out the problem and we got back together. It may be over temporarily but things can always change.

Stay strong dude.

[desensitizedbyu]

Listen to these dudes, they know what they're talking about. Time heals everything, I've been there dude.

[voodooramen]

I wouldn't be able to add much to what the others have already said, but I just went through a breakup myself and one thing I realized is that even though it hurts MAJORLY when you are the one who is cut off, your best bet right now is to hold yourself back. I did my best, and am still doing my best to keep contact away from her and focus on my own personal life now and it helps. It gives you a lot of introspective time to consider what really is possible for you now. I know I have friends I could turn to when it initially happened and by god I really didn't know how much I cared for them as well as my family until I saw what this situation can really do to you. So, just keep your head up like everyone else said, and TRY YOUR BEST to keep silence between the both of you right now. At least a few days for the waters to calm, because I know when I was feeling like that my emotions controlled my decision making, and it would have just made it much worse to force contact (calling over and over, or knocking on her door) when you are in that state of mind. Hang in there man, it will improve. Take these guys advice, it's true stuff, especially about time. It will be the true decision maker for the future.

[takingchase]

This is where I'm struggling though, I have no support group where I'm at. I moved here for her and don't know anyone. I'm seeing if I can go hang out with a friend in Michigan for awhile but I don't know if thats going to work out. Right now I'm just stuck here with my thoughts. All I have is my dog who is just a reminder of how happy we were when we got him.

[murakami]

i also cant contribute any sage like wisdom that hasnt been already been stated by someone else...

...but will just that (like about everyone), i had my tender heart crushed by a chick. at the time, it was the end of the world. looking back, i realized i had some blinders on and had convinced myself that she was the only one for me. once i was able to expand my focus and see life from a different perspective, i understood that there was more to life...yea - it can be both awesomely amazing and horribly miserable...and while the highs dont last forever, neither do the lows.

now, i feel like i am a better person because of the time we spent together. whenever i think back to it, its not the heartbreaking disaster that i believed it to be. it just doesnt happen over night, but with time - things will right themselves. its the way of the world.

[jayeffscene]

I absolutely agree with turning your phone off. If you want to talk more I know some guys here would help anyway they can, myself included. It'll be alright.

[flatlinemole]

now is the time to 'sell' a bunch of records, and never ship them out!!

i miss ronniethebear.

[jayeffscene]

now is the time to 'sell' a bunch of records, and never ship them out!!

i miss ronniethebear.

Oh man. Original poster might need it more, but +1 to you sir.

[defanatic1758]

Women, man. *shakes head*

I was pretty broken up for months over one I still work with to this day (not recommended). I've since completely stopped talking to her or even acknowledging her very presence. Killing the Dream's "Fractures" really helped me through it all... the lyrics really spoke to me. Idunno if you're into that kinda music, but it got me through the times. Delete her number, turn off the phone. Get rid of the photos... etc.

[goraiders]

it never really ends for me until they do something that gets me angry at them (hook up with some dude i hate) or something.

[crossedoff]

I'm really sorry about what happened to you man, i know how bad this shit sucks, believe me. This is my input and you can choose to do what you want with it.

My first thought, is that her last boyfriend who she was dating for 2 years probably felt the exact same way you do now when she broke up with him for you.

You shouldn't have had to change your life so drastically for her if she really cared about you, but thats just my opinion based on the small amount of information i know from your post.

If i have any advice that i think you NEED to listen to it's this. I know for a fact she's going to try and come back to you, and you CANT CANT CANT get back with her. If she broke up with you twice now, and you just automatically get back with she's going to do it agian, i can almost guarantee it. She'll know she has you no matter what she does and she'll take full advantage of it. Whenever she doesn't want to be with you, for whatever BULLSHIT reason she has, whether she's upset or it's another guy, she's going to know she can come back to you when things go bad or she needs a safety net, and that is all you'll be.

Once it's over once, it's never going to go back to the way it was, even if it seems like it at first, it won't. If she was the one for you, and really cared for you like you do her, she would have NEVER have done this in the first place. Especially after all that you sacrificed for her. Believe me, she'l realize it sooner or later, but DO NOT GET BACK WITH HER. You need to pick your head up and move on, as hard as that sounds right now. Things will get better, even if it takes a while, and you will find someone who treats you right and feels the same to you as you do her.

Stay strong, get on with your life, you don't need her, and make sure you show that, or i promise you she will do this again and again and its going to get worse and worse.

I know how horrible you feel right now, but it has to get worse before it gets better. Occupy yourself as best as you can, DO NOT sulk in your room. Get rid of everything she gave you or you'll keep seeing them and looking at them and she will never leave your head.

It's funny because i know exactly how you feel, the exact same thing happened to me. I did everything i could and she dumped me, and i made AAAALLLLL the mistakes im telling you not to do, and i was so crushed for waaaay longer than i should have been.

I hope my advice doesnt seem pessimistic or makes you upset, just sharing my knowledge, take it or leave it. No matter what good luck and i hope everytihng works out for you.

[rtw88]

I don't really have a lot to add because I don't know the whole situation, and lots of great advice has been given, but I feel the need to reiterate that you should shut off your phone, and try not to see her. The only reasons that I can think of that would cause someone to do this is if a) they had a lot of growing up to do or they don't care about you as much as you care about them. And this girl does not deserve to be with you if she doesn't care about you as much as you seem to care about her.

You should go home, reconnect with some old friends, and rediscover new things in life worth enjoying.