scottheisel Posted August 15, 2011 Share Posted August 15, 2011 I have a profile on LinkedIn, as I'm sure many of you also do—and I rarely ever use it for anything, as I'm sure many of you also do. But I add anyone who requests it on there because you never know what opportunities may come of it. I get a lot of random messages on there, generally from musicians who want me to check out their songs or people who want to write for AP. But this message popped in my inbox over the weekend, and I have never seen anything like it before: Timothy Kemp has sent you a message.Date: 8/14/2011 Subject: Marriage I'd like to introduce a new marriage convent to the world.. A marriage of Love, Faith n Truth AS I ask Jaclyn McFadyen to marry me, I want her to know that I do not want her to feel enslaved by rules that could cause sins against God for not obeying the marriage. As Adultry is commiting sexual acts with others that is not the spouce, I see it as a form of control, like sexual slavery.. I think a man should earn his wife every day, not just the wedding day.. And of my wife where to explore her hidden sexual fantistys, I want her to be free to do so.. Because I love my wife as me, future wife that is, if JacMcFadyen says yes to me.. As my wife we would be one, as one person. If she drinks a bit of wine and makes a romantic advance at another man other than me, I expect that other man to treat her the way I would. If he turns her down, he's turning me down. If he tells me my wife is cheating slut, he's calling me a cheating slut. Because my wife is one with me. What she fancies, I fsancy. What she desires, I desire, becuase to me, She is perfect and I love her no matter what.. Unconditionally So is this guy into cuckolding or something? Does he want me to sleep with his wife? I am absolutely baffled. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottheisel Posted August 15, 2011 Author Share Posted August 15, 2011 I have a profile on LinkedIn, as I'm sure many of you also do—and I rarely ever use it for anything, as I'm sure many of you also do. But I add anyone who requests it on there because you never know what opportunities may come of it. I get a lot of random messages on there, generally from musicians who want me to check out their songs or people who want to write for AP. But this message popped in my inbox over the weekend, and I have never seen anything like it before: Timothy Kemp has sent you a message.Date: 8/14/2011 Subject: Marriage I'd like to introduce a new marriage convent to the world.. A marriage of Love, Faith n Truth AS I ask Jaclyn McFadyen to marry me, I want her to know that I do not want her to feel enslaved by rules that could cause sins against God for not obeying the marriage. As Adultry is commiting sexual acts with others that is not the spouce, I see it as a form of control, like sexual slavery.. I think a man should earn his wife every day, not just the wedding day.. And of my wife where to explore her hidden sexual fantistys, I want her to be free to do so.. Because I love my wife as me, future wife that is, if JacMcFadyen says yes to me.. As my wife we would be one, as one person. If she drinks a bit of wine and makes a romantic advance at another man other than me, I expect that other man to treat her the way I would. If he turns her down, he's turning me down. If he tells me my wife is cheating slut, he's calling me a cheating slut. Because my wife is one with me. What she fancies, I fsancy. What she desires, I desire, becuase to me, She is perfect and I love her no matter what.. Unconditionally So is this guy into cuckolding or something? Does he want me to sleep with his wife? I am absolutely baffled. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kidamnesiac Posted August 15, 2011 Share Posted August 15, 2011 Hahaha! Sounds a lot like some of the old email scams, the way it's worded like someone who doesn't speak english as their first language wrote it. I have no idea what he's trying to get at, though. Your guess is as good as mine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kidamnesiac Posted August 15, 2011 Share Posted August 15, 2011 Hahaha! Sounds a lot like some of the old email scams, the way it's worded like someone who doesn't speak english as their first language wrote it. I have no idea what he's trying to get at, though. Your guess is as good as mine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jerseydave77 Posted August 15, 2011 Share Posted August 15, 2011 Sounds like you've just learned the meaning of life. Congrats and enjoy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jerseydave77 Posted August 15, 2011 Share Posted August 15, 2011 Sounds like you've just learned the meaning of life. Congrats and enjoy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kgry Posted August 15, 2011 Share Posted August 15, 2011 Bang her first, ask questions later. I mean it's your job to help her explore her hidden sexual fantasies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kgry Posted August 15, 2011 Share Posted August 15, 2011 Bang her first, ask questions later. I mean it's your job to help her explore her hidden sexual fantasies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stbarric Posted August 16, 2011 Share Posted August 16, 2011 Perhaps it's what he isn't saying that could be the problem. If him and his future wife are one, and saying no to her is like saying no to him, then I bet it works the other way around, and he can have whatever sexual fantasies he wants, and saying no to him is like saying no to her, and you wouldn't say no to her, right? He wants your dick dude. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bengalimenace Posted August 16, 2011 Share Posted August 16, 2011 That's a three-way request from a terrible speller, dude. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlexH. Posted August 16, 2011 Share Posted August 16, 2011 He wants your dick dude. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottheisel Posted September 10, 2011 Author Share Posted September 10, 2011 UPDATE! I just got this message from the same dude, like, 3 seconds ago. He must've been googling his own name, I guess: Timothy Kemp suggested that you add this position to your LinkedIn profile:cleaner at dontgiveafuckinitis Take credit for your hard work! Hey fuckhead, This entire account was spam, hack, fraud litter on 8/14/2011 You're a prime example of what's wrong with this world. I bet Walter Jennings is rolling over in his grave of anguish seeing the likes of journalist like you. Alternative?? Alternative to what? You're just a parrot for teens mimicing Fox News. Don't ever jump on internet failure to fuck with me again.. You're a disrespectful, pre-judging waste of space that's so hard up for attention that you publish spam n tech errors from an inbox onto a message board.. Next time, have enough fucking balls to confer with whom ever you're posting shit about, ya chicken gut. Timothy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cactusbot Posted September 10, 2011 Share Posted September 10, 2011 Haha! Amazing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest errolwest Posted September 10, 2011 Share Posted September 10, 2011 HAHAHA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 10, 2011 Share Posted September 10, 2011 timothy seems upset /lisp Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rtw88 Posted September 10, 2011 Share Posted September 10, 2011 Obviously the internet has become sentient and is just fucking with you. This is how the Matrix started. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steventangent Posted September 10, 2011 Share Posted September 10, 2011 howhowhow the fuck do you "pre-judge" something? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kurtmanner Posted September 10, 2011 Share Posted September 10, 2011 howhow how the fuck do you "pre-judge" something? dude. You have so much to learn... sigh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jerseydave77 Posted September 10, 2011 Share Posted September 10, 2011 Can you ask him if Jaclyn accepted his proposal? If so, Mazel Tov goes out to them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melvinscam Posted September 10, 2011 Share Posted September 10, 2011 cocaine is a hell of a drug Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest errolwest Posted September 10, 2011 Share Posted September 10, 2011 really hoping he finds this thread again and makes an account. so much potential. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oakland Posted September 11, 2011 Share Posted September 11, 2011 You should tell him you have a similar relationship with your dog, then imply that the ball (and it's a gross tennis ball with slobber all over it) is in his court. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beneathbelow Posted September 12, 2011 Share Posted September 12, 2011 I don't think I've laughed so hard at anything, in a long time. "If he turns her down, he's turning me down."- that was the best line. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottheisel Posted September 13, 2011 Author Share Posted September 13, 2011 really hoping he finds this thread again and makes an account. so much potential. That's kind of what I was hoping for. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steventangent Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 Shh! You'll ruin it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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