crime Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 my girlfriend and i have 4 months left on our lease. and i don't want to live with her anymore. at all. what would be an appropriate amount of time to let her know i don't intend on living with her after the lease is up on our current appartment? i've never had to do this before. any other time i've lived with a girlfriend she either moved in with me or i moved in with her so when it was over who ever moved in just left. this time around we moved in together. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
refused Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 are u breaking up with her? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xlovecolouredx Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 try to talk with her as smooth too much as you can. and say as soon as possible is what you should do. and you should offer her for leave. i mean if her wanna stay there, you shoul leave if you can. anyway, think carefully before make a decision.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lonesomexloveus Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 you'd better want to break up with her whenever you tell her. and by that i mean that whenever you tell her she will most likely break up with you, lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danthemjfan23 Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 holy balls, what a tough call on this one. i agree with allison, though: be prepared for her to get SUPER pissed and break up with you. if that's what you're looking to do anyway, then no big deal, but from the way you worded your post, it doesn't seem like you're wanting to break up. i say tell her as soon as possible, because if she finds out you've been thinking about this for 4 months when you DO tell her, she'll for sure break up with you. if you give her more time to think about it, instead of just reacting on impulse, you'll be able to work things out and you can prove to her that you still want to be together, just not TOGETHER together. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crime Posted January 20, 2009 Author Share Posted January 20, 2009 sorry should have added that. yes i am going break up with her. the problem with the whole ordeal is that neither of us can afford the place on our own. me breaking up with her then just leaving would be way too mean. epseically since i know that there's no way she could afford to live there on her own. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
controlthebleeding Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 Yea, but what if he tells her too soon and she leaves him, in the famous words of def leppard, "High and Dry" and then he has several months to pay on the lease.. on his own. I'd wait it out and tell her the last month..unless you can afford it, then by all means tell her now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kouka Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 are both of your names on the lease? if so, then she could have them coming after her for any money she owes, i think.. actually, I'm not sure how that would work. it's pretty selfish, but you could hold off telling her until you both pay for the last month of rent: this way if she leaves, then you don't have to worry about her half. and I think 30 days is plenty of time to find a new place to live. of course, she's going to want to get a place lined up before that, so you'll have to come up with a bunch of excuses to keep putting it off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
takingchase Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 Suggest watching a movie with her, put on cool runnings and break the news. No one can be pissed while cool runnings is on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pjaicomo Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 Suggest watching a movie with her, put on cool runnings and break the news. No one can be pissed while cool runnings is on. Malik Yoba is pissed through a lot of that movie though, so if she identifies with him, you could be in big trouble. I think you have to tell her pretty soon. It really isn't fair to have her expecting the continuance and then cut her off at the last second. It really sucks as a situation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 just look for another place, and don't say anything until she brings it up. then just say "yeah... about that..." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
takingchase Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 Suggest watching a movie with her, put on cool runnings and break the news. No one can be pissed while cool runnings is on. Malik Yoba is pissed through a lot of that movie though, so if she identifies with him, you could be in big trouble. I think you have to tell her pretty soon. It really isn't fair to have her expecting the continuance and then cut her off at the last second. It really sucks as a situation. very true. But ya, it's a rough situation. Even if you tell her sooner and she doesn't move out on you sticking you with rent it sounds like an extremely awkward living situation. On one hand she deserves to know sooner rather than later but on the other hand that also means you could get screwed with rent. Just out of curiosity how long did you guys date before moving in? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danthemjfan23 Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 Suggest watching a movie with her, put on cool runnings and break the news. No one can be pissed while cool runnings is on. it's so funny that you bring that movie up. one of the records i just took from my radio station this past week was the Cool Runnings soundtrack. i shit you not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
takingchase Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 Suggest watching a movie with her, put on cool runnings and break the news. No one can be pissed while cool runnings is on. it's so funny that you bring that movie up. one of the records i just took from my radio station this past week was the Cool Runnings soundtrack. i shit you not. consider me extremely envious. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lonesomexloveus Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 Suggest watching a movie with her, put on cool runnings and break the news. No one can be pissed while cool runnings is on. it's so funny that you bring that movie up. one of the records i just took from my radio station this past week was the Cool Runnings soundtrack. i shit you not. man, i clearly missed an awesome opportunity by not working at etown's radio station. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danthemjfan23 Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 yes i am going break up with her. okay, then if that's the case, let's play "choose your own adventure".... if you think you'll be ending things on good terms, choose A. if you think it will be a messy break up, choose B. A: tell her as soon as possible. say that you love her and care about her, but that living together wasn't what was best for your relationship. the reason you're telling her this early is because you don't want to leave her high and dry and that you still want her to be a part of your life, but not your girlfriend. B: fuck her. literally, have sex with her. every day from now until 4 months from now. then, 4 months from now, while she's at work, pack all your shit up and when she comes home you'll have your entire apartment full of boxes. when she asks what the fuck is going on, tell her that the sex has been terrible lately and that you're history. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lonesomexloveus Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 i'm going with....there's a happy medium somewhere in what dan just suggested lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danthemjfan23 Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 nope, it's gotta be one or the other. choose your own adventure, allison. haven't you ever played?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lonesomexloveus Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 DUH! those books were the shit back in elementary school. but i always cheated at them; i'd try to bookmark all the pages with my fingers where i had a choice, so if i didnt like the outcome i could go back and pick the other one. ...clearly this way of operating has had a negative impact on my life choices. lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danthemjfan23 Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 haha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lokithelion Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 Tell a joke. Knock knock Whose there? Someone who doesn't want to live with you anymore! Someone who doesn't want to live with you anymore who? ME! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest xsteponmex Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 ^^^hahahahhahahaah Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest xsteponmex Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 but seriously is it obvious that you guys aren't going to work after the lease is over? maybe she is thinking the same thing. i would just bring up now or soon that you're unsure of how it's going to work out and see what her reaction is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doogie Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 but seriously is it obvious that you guys aren't going to work after the lease is over? maybe she is thinking the same thing. i would just bring up now or soon that you're unsure of how it's going to work out and see what her reaction is. I agree with this, and have been in the same situation. I would bring up the convo of what is going to happen when the lease is up, and tell her what you're thinking. If you are that unhappy it probably isn't a surprise to her. If you are both on the lease she can't legally just 'take off' on you. From her point of view, the more time she has to figure out what to do (ie where to live, roommates, deposits, etc.) the better and the less pissed she'll be at you when you break it to her. Also let her know you'll help if she needs it (up to you if you choose too). Honestly though considering there is 4 months left, the less confrontational the better. And slowly start hiding the communal stuff that you want. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xxmartinxx Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 Anal. It's my suggestion for all relationships. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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