pjaicomo Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 Dear Dan, There is this person who I know from online. I am not a gay guy, and I have always dated women, but I just find him so fucking charming that I feel like throwing all the rules out the window, driving all night to where he is and confessing my undying love for him. He recently started this relationship advice thread in a forum I am on, and I don't know if I should drop a hint by writing in it. What do you think? Sincerely, Flummoxed in Florida Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danthemjfan23 Posted February 9, 2009 Author Share Posted February 9, 2009 I'm 18 and have been dating a girl for over 2 years. I love her very much and have never been attracted strongly to another girl until now and she's 14. this isn't a question. also you started dating a 12 year old when you were 16? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daniel Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 The 14 year old is a different girl, haha. That's the point! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sonix Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 Dan, when I think about the girl I like, my pants get a little tighter.. is this normal? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danthemjfan23 Posted February 9, 2009 Author Share Posted February 9, 2009 Dear Dan,There is this person who I know from online. I am not a gay guy, and I have always dated women, but I just find him so fucking charming that I feel like throwing all the rules out the window, driving all night to where he is and confessing my undying love for him. He recently started this relationship advice thread in a forum I am on, and I don't know if I should drop a hint by writing in it. What do you think? Sincerely, Flummoxed in Florida Dear Flummoxed, Sometimes we just need to listen to our hearts. There's nothing wrong with being gay, first and foremost. But, more importantly, having strong feelings for a person and acting on those feelings doesn't necessarily mean you love them, nor does it necessarily determine your sexual orientation. There's a difference between love and lust. It sounds like you aren't lusting over your newfound friend, but that you are, instead, actually in love with him. Try telling him about your feelings, and maybe you will be pleasantly surprised at his response. Perhaps he feels the same way? Whatever you decide, just follow your heart. You'll be happier in the end that way. Sincerely (and forever) yours, Dan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danthemjfan23 Posted February 9, 2009 Author Share Posted February 9, 2009 The 14 year old is a different girl, haha. That's the point! she sounds mature for her age. rock it and drop it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pjaicomo Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 Sage, so very sage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danthemjfan23 Posted February 9, 2009 Author Share Posted February 9, 2009 Dan, when I think about the girl I like, my pants get a little tighter.. is this normal? yes, this is to be expected. try not to wear sweatpants when you're around her, though (or thinking about her), as this may cause some more uncomfortable feelings than you're willing to deal with. not necessarily for you, but for everybody you're around. also, wearing a pair of shorts on top of your underwear but under your pants helps keep this under check. i've been doing that since i turned 11. works like a charm. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danthemjfan23 Posted February 9, 2009 Author Share Posted February 9, 2009 Sage, so very sage. i have been described as sagacious before, but never has it meant so much. thank you, sir. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theambulancereview Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 new favorite thread. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thedavidescapeplan Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 This thread is the fucking best! Serious question. There is this girl I am really into and I think she's into me as well. She's told me she loves me, but I don't know if she's just trying to flirt because whenever I try to make a move or anything she seems to lsoe interest. I don't know if she's just playing games with me or not. What should I do all knowing one? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
divaface Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 This thread sucks. Dan is actually a robot. Do not listen to him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
j4m35 Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 ^ ignore her for a few weeks. if she's into you for REAL she'll stick around. edit: to the dave escape plan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danthemjfan23 Posted February 9, 2009 Author Share Posted February 9, 2009 This thread is the fucking best!Serious question. There is this girl I am really into and I think she's into me as well. She's told me she loves me, but I don't know if she's just trying to flirt because whenever I try to make a move or anything she seems to lsoe interest. I don't know if she's just playing games with me or not. What should I do all knowing one? what was the context with which she used the L word? was it a quiet moment? were you hugging her goodbye after walking her to her door and she whispered "i love you." in your ear? did you give her a box of her favorite candy and she responded with "awwwwwee i love you!!"? was it via text message or IM? did she spell love "luv"? again, i must revert back to what i said to mike in the dateless losers club thread: girls don't just hold your hand say i love you for no reason. if it was a serious comment, think about pursuing it. if it came across as jokey, or as a "in a friends forever" type of way, just be content with the fact that you have somebody in your life who appreciates your company and verbalizes that to you. too often peoples' kindness and love is taken for granted, which is why it rarely lasts. maybe you should think about verbalizing your own feelings to her, to insure she keeps you around. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danthemjfan23 Posted February 9, 2009 Author Share Posted February 9, 2009 This thread sucks. Dan is actually a robot. Do not listen to him. if this were true, and it is commonly accepted that robots cannot feel feelings, then why did this comment hurt so much? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
j4m35 Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 dan i'm gonna have to correct you girls WOULD say 'i love you' just to fuck around...it's happened before. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thedavidescapeplan Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 This thread is the fucking best!Serious question. There is this girl I am really into and I think she's into me as well. She's told me she loves me, but I don't know if she's just trying to flirt because whenever I try to make a move or anything she seems to lsoe interest. I don't know if she's just playing games with me or not. What should I do all knowing one? what was the context with which she used the L word? was it a quiet moment? were you hugging her goodbye after walking her to her door and she whispered "i love you." in your ear? did you give her a box of her favorite candy and she responded with "awwwwwee i love you!!"? was it via text message or IM? did she spell love "luv"? again, i must revert back to what i said to mike in the dateless losers club thread: girls don't just hold your hand say i love you for no reason. if it was a serious comment, think about pursuing it. if it came across as jokey, or as a "in a friends forever" type of way, just be content with the fact that you have somebody in your life who appreciates your company and verbalizes that to you. too often peoples' kindness and love is taken for granted, which is why it rarely lasts. maybe you should think about verbalizing your own feelings to her, to insure she keeps you around. Valid points. The context was she had driven like an hour and half to come visit me out of the blue when we were on break from school and when she left we hugged and she said it then (I said it back). She also then gave me a birthday card which had "I love you with all my heart" written inside. Now I understand that most people would say "duh, she likes you!" But it seems like anytime I try to make plans with her or tell her how I feel she either doesn't respond or just changes the subject. Then out of nowhere she tells me how much she loves me blah blah blah. So I'm not sure of what to do. Should I keep trying and hope it gets serious or say fuck it just try to keep the friendship? I hope that clears it up a bit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danthemjfan23 Posted February 9, 2009 Author Share Posted February 9, 2009 james, i don't come to your job and tell you how to suck a dick better. i would appreciate it if you didn't come to mine and tell me how to advise better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thedavidescapeplan Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 ^ ignore her for a few weeks. if she's into you for REAL she'll stick around.edit: to the dave escape plan Also a very valid plan. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
controlthebleeding Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 dan i'm gonna have to correct yougirls WOULD say 'i love you' just to fuck around...it's happened before. my coworker says I LOVE YOU all the time.. in any situation... i think some girls throw that around like a "hey what's up" or "later dude". I also think she is one of those girls that feels she needs to be friends and close to everyone she meets.. like she needs to be a social whore for acceptance... it's weird.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
j4m35 Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 and actually dan that teaspoon of honey is a good tip...thanks for that Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danthemjfan23 Posted February 9, 2009 Author Share Posted February 9, 2009 Valid points. The context was she had driven like an hour and half to come visit me out of the blue when we were on break from school and when she left we hugged and she said it then (I said it back). She also then gave me a birthday card which had "I love you with all my heart" written inside. Now I understand that most people would say "duh, she likes you!" But it seems like anytime I try to make plans with her or tell her how I feel she either doesn't respond or just changes the subject. Then out of nowhere she tells me how much she loves me blah blah blah. So I'm not sure of what to do. Should I keep trying and hope it gets serious or say fuck it just try to keep the friendship? I hope that clears it up a bit. absolutely. i've been in this situation before, actually. i'm currently in it as well. it's very hard to deal with, so i feel your pain on this one. the girl who is giving me the runaround used to be somebody who i saw myself spending the rest of my life with. perfect for me in every way. but things change. if you've given her chance after chance to be with you and she hasn't followed through, i would have to say actions speak louder than words. this is a tough pill to swallow (maybe try having a tablespoon of honey first?), but it will be a huge load off your back once you realize it. this doesn't mean to stop being her friend and stop asking her to hang out. just don't get your hopes up and don't expect anything to come from it, and you can't be disappointed. eventually your relationship with each other will evolve into what it will become. you can guide it in a particular direction, but cannot guarantee a successful happy ending. i'm also giving this advice under the assumption that you have sat her down at one point in the past and straight up told her how you feel. if this is a false assumption, then DO THAT. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pjaicomo Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 what was the context with which she used the L word? was it a quiet moment? were you hugging her goodbye after walking her to her door and she whispered "i love you." in your ear? did you give her a box of her favorite candy and she responded with "awwwwwee i love you!!"? was it via text message or IM? did she spell love "luv"? again, i must revert back to what i said to mike in the dateless losers club thread: girls don't just hold your hand say i love you for no reason. if it was a serious comment, think about pursuing it. if it came across as jokey, or as a "in a friends forever" type of way, just be content with the fact that you have somebody in your life who appreciates your company and verbalizes that to you. too often peoples' kindness and love is taken for granted, which is why it rarely lasts. maybe you should think about verbalizing your own feelings to her, to insure she keeps you around. Valid points. The context was she had driven like an hour and half to come visit me out of the blue when we were on break from school and when she left we hugged and she said it then (I said it back). She also then gave me a birthday card which had "I love you with all my heart" written inside. Now I understand that most people would say "duh, she likes you!" But it seems like anytime I try to make plans with her or tell her how I feel she either doesn't respond or just changes the subject. Then out of nowhere she tells me how much she loves me blah blah blah. So I'm not sure of what to do. Should I keep trying and hope it gets serious or say fuck it just try to keep the friendship? I hope that clears it up a bit. Gotta go for it dude. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goraiders Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 ok long story time I've had a crush on this girl big time since sophomore year of high school (im a junior in college now), we're pretty good friends, i also dated her best friend for a while. The first girl and I went to prom, twice, and i got straight up denied the second time. I just transferred to the same school as her, and we hang out reasonably often but basically don't do anything. I always try to get her to come out on the weekends but she's almost always gone. My best friend's girlfriend and her are friends and apparently she's been talking about how she wants a boyfriend, my friend's girlfriend suggested me. I was visiting my friend and talked to his girlfriend on the phone and she kept saying "call her call her call her!" even though she knew we weren't in the same place. Last week I texted her seeing if she wanted to hang out and got a message back saying "I wish! but i can't :(" essentially. It seemed unnecessarily positive. I don't know what to do! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danthemjfan23 Posted February 9, 2009 Author Share Posted February 9, 2009 and we hang out reasonably often but basically don't do anything. what does this mean? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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