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Hopefully I can do something soon though, I feel like I'm getting old and all my friends are starting to drift away into family mode, which makes me feel more depressed just sitting around doing nothing.

i think i'd be more depressed if i was 25/26 and going into family mode. you're still young. there's plenty of time to settle down and start a family.

I'm not ready for a family at all, but would like the companionship for sure.

I turn 26 next month, which is really making me freak out for some reason. I feel like my life has no meaning since I work a shitty job, am still in school for something I hate, have been single for like 8 years and have annoying mental health issues (anxiety and depression). Life certainly is silly these days.

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Thomas, don't take that stuff too hard, though, because our entire generation is a failure. I'm about to turn 26 this summer, too, and very few of my friends have "adult" jobs and are stable on their feet. I only know a handful of people that have been able to buy a house. We all work part-time jobs aimed at high schoolers and college kids because there's not a ton out there. Anyone I know with an actual family was an accident.

Just roll with it, keep your chin up, and fake confidence if you don't have it at the moment. Confidence is the key for everything, whether it's a job, a girl, buying a car... just act like you've been there before.

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Maybe it's passing the buck to a certain extent, but I can't help but feel like much of our generation's 'failure' is attributable to the generations before us - again, that's not to say that we haven't collectively made mistakes, but the media portrayals of the current 18-34 crowd is a bit off. I've got a degree in culinary art and while I'm certainly keeping my head above water, I'm not doing as well as I may have been doing fifteen or even ten years ego when the economy was 'stronger' (I use the word from a more perceptive stand point since each person has their own idea of when the economy is strong versus weak). Somehow, I can't help but think that fiscal decisions made as a collective mind by much of the previous generations of middle America on up have helped put us here to a measurable extent.

+ getting new shoes today

+ getting last minute contributions for this 'zine I've been working on for the last two weeks - it's gonna be coming in at a whopping 60 pages!

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+/- Went to visit my friend in the hospital today. He got stabbed 3 times. One of them was just under his stomach and his guts were leaking out. One of them clipped his liver. After it happened they got him to the hospital in about 9 minutes and the doctor told him he had lost half of his blood (don't know if that's possible but that's what he told me anyway.) They had to remove 3" of his intestine and cauterize his liver. He's doing okay though and is going to be fine so I'm super stoked about that.

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+/- Went to visit my friend in the hospital today. He got stabbed 3 times. One of them was just under his stomach and his guts were leaking out. One of them clipped his liver. After it happened they got him to the hospital in about 9 minutes and the doctor told him he had lost half of his blood (don't know if that's possible but that's what he told me anyway.) They had to remove 3" of his intestine and cauterize his liver. He's doing okay though and is going to be fine so I'm super stoked about that.

Glad to hear your friend is doing fine, and I'm glad it happened in Canada, 'cause I don't even want to think about how hellish that bill would be here in the States.

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+/- Went to visit my friend in the hospital today. He got stabbed 3 times. One of them was just under his stomach and his guts were leaking out. One of them clipped his liver. After it happened they got him to the hospital in about 9 minutes and the doctor told him he had lost half of his blood (don't know if that's possible but that's what he told me anyway.) They had to remove 3" of his intestine and cauterize his liver. He's doing okay though and is going to be fine so I'm super stoked about that.

Glad to hear your friend is doing fine, and I'm glad it happened in Canada, 'cause I don't even want to think about how hellish that bill would be here in the States.

Thanks! Yeah obviously it's all covered here which is awesome. Once he gets out he's going back to live with his parents till he's fully recovered. His parents farm so his mom will be able to be home with him all day to take care of him.

+ It was 3 degrees here today. Nice change from the -40's we had last week.

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Did you find out exactly what happened? Regina seemed pretty tame when I was there.

Two guys I know were there. They said that the guy who did the stabbing was wearing an army issue jacket which apparently you aren't supposed to wear in public (maybe you're only supposed to wear it on the base, I'm not sure.) One of the guys that was with my friends is in the army as well and I guess told the guy he shouldn't be wearing the jacket. And it went south from there I guess.

This all happened outside a bowling alley in the north end of the city, which is generally a pretty safe place. One of the least likely places for something like this to happen haha.

The guy who did the stabbing ended up leaving the said jacket and one of my friends friends grabbed it. The guys wallet was in it so the police arrested him like 40 minutes later.

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Guest errolwest
let's hear it for single dudes in their mid-20's who can barely pay rent!

i just turned 20 and can barely pay rent/have a functional relationship. YEAH.

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I know 26 is not old or anything, but it's just freaking me out since it's just over the mid-twenties hump. I really don't know why I'm depressed either, which sucks, but it just like hit me hard a few months back. I also know that being single isn't bad, but it sucks seeing all my friends happy with their girlfriends, and a few have really awesome girlfriends that I now consider really good friends too since we hang out a lot. It just sucks being single for so long, haven't even tried to date since my anxiety problems started, since I want to feel like a burden with it. I also really don't mind working a crappy job, since I know my hours and it's zero responsibility for the most part. Maybe I'm just super immature.

Maybe tomorrow I'll stop by Chiptole after the record store, and see if the cute girl is working and try to fake the confidence to at least strike up a conversation with her.

-- Fucking freezing rain like crazy outside. I almost crashed turning onto my street.

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+ I got a wink on a dating site this morning, so hopefully that'll lead to at least a conversation on the site.

- I'm so sick of the constant up and down of temperatures the last few weeks. My sinuses are so fucked up, which make me feel super sick from the drainage and pressure.

+ Weekend.

+ A lot of building at my buddy's this weekend. We need to get the bar and tables we've been working on for a while now done by next weekend for his girlfriend's birthday party.

Edit: -- The girl deleted her account :(.

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- Yelled at the printer, the computer, the cat and everything around me today for a really long time when I couldn't figure out how to get some formatting done for this 'zine.

- Later got the test copy of the 'zine put together and will be using it to do a final proofread tomorrow before printing off final copies tomorrow - 60 pages of content about obsessive record collecting, the bad name given to okra, obscure and bizarre southern gospel albums, an interview with a weirdo synth musician and lots of other stuff!

+/- spent more time on here than I've done all week.

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- Wife got invited to the neighbor's house for a "Lady's Night" so I had to stay home with our 1 year old...who went to bed at 6:45pm

+ Turns out it was a Mary Kay-type make-up party, so it seems like my Friday night wasn't so bad

- She probably bought something (with money that could have been spent on records)

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+had a date tonight. ive been really excited about this girl- everything seemed like it was clicking really well in the few times we were out with people. she went on vacation, came back, and i asked to take her out tonight, blah blah blah.

-she was so gkesfkjhf shy. almost all conversation felt forced. she was up front about her shyness early on, but man it got painful at times.

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+ Built for like 10 hours last night. We're getting really close to having my buddy's basement bar perfect. Will be an awesome party if our vision comes together in time for next weekend.

- Weather changes, and sanding without masks last night if fucking with my sinuses again.

- Smoked way too many cigarettes last night while working on the bar.

- Still no luck on dating sites, making me feel super down.

+ House offer finally came through, and it'll be a ton cheaper then renting, so I have to walk away from the apartment.

+/- More bar work tonight. He can only work on it during the weekend best of his work and school schedule during the week. I kind of wanted to go out and get drunk and try to not be super awkward around cute girls.

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met the girl from last night at a bar tonight. she was already completely wasted when i got there.

-she spent the whole time i was there "dancing" on me. which translated to using me to keep her on her feet.

+she broke the awkward ice by kissing me

-she was still super drunk and making out with me at the bar

+left that bar to go meet with my friends at another, where we met more girls.

+who want to hang out tomorrow

+which is awesome;

-unless the royal rumble gets in the way

but

+royal rumble.

here we go 2 spot!

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+ drunk. Not sure how I drove home. fucking stupid

+ Hung out with my biddy's girlfriend all night, since he feel asleep just before I got there.

+ had some good ass conversations with her.

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- At work at 7am on a Sunday... BOO!

+ Got offered to assistant coach one of the high school boys hockey teams next season.

- They suck.

- It would mean bailing on my girls team

+ Boys hockey is a little more intense than girls...

- I don't know which to take.

- A girl I'm after still lives with her sorta-but-not-really-boyfriend.

+ They don't get along much.

+ Bunch of tweets directed secretly to me.

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