twelvetwenty Posted February 3, 2008 Share Posted February 3, 2008 I'm sure I'm not the who one who says and does fucked up things at work. This can be a place to share those special moments. This is a real conversation between me and my very conservative boss: Me: How old are your kids? Boss: 8 and 11. Why? Me: ...I want to have sex with an 8 year old. Boss: (Kind of shocked, kind of amused) Dude, the 8 year old is my son. Me: ...I want to have sex with your son. It was one of the more amazing conversations I've had with him. He was not terribly amused. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flicker Posted February 3, 2008 Share Posted February 3, 2008 "why don't we have a seat, right over there..." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
adamlikesmusic Posted February 3, 2008 Share Posted February 3, 2008 That's fucked. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twelvetwenty Posted February 3, 2008 Author Share Posted February 3, 2008 Are you kidding? That's comic gold. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flicker Posted February 3, 2008 Share Posted February 3, 2008 ITT: Look how funny i think i am! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cj Posted February 3, 2008 Share Posted February 3, 2008 I'm sure I'm not the who one who says and does fucked up things at work. This can be a place to share those special moments. This is a real conversation between me and my very conservative boss:Me: How old are your kids? Boss: 8 and 11. Why? Me: ...I want to have sex with an 8 year old. Boss: (Kind of shocked, kind of amused) Dude, the 8 year old is my son. Me: ...I want to have sex with your son. It was one of the more amazing conversations I've had with him. He was not terribly amused. i dont believe this happened at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
311thrice Posted February 3, 2008 Share Posted February 3, 2008 If I was the boss, I would have fired you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlexH. Posted February 3, 2008 Share Posted February 3, 2008 Are you tired of employment or something? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cj Posted February 3, 2008 Share Posted February 3, 2008 this...never...happened! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
adamlikesmusic Posted February 3, 2008 Share Posted February 3, 2008 this...never...happened! It's like Milli Vanilli recording their own music. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twelvetwenty Posted February 3, 2008 Author Share Posted February 3, 2008 I'm cool with my boss. Part of him thinks that I'm mentally unstable (the other part thinks that I'm an alcoholic) and it affords me liberties that I may not otherwise be afforded. I serve as a type of comic relief to the store. I work retail and my boss himself is kind of a joke so really it's all good. I spend my days trying to weird him out because it's funny. No harm, no foul. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
adamlikesmusic Posted February 3, 2008 Share Posted February 3, 2008 Joking about fucking kids is still fucked up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twelvetwenty Posted February 3, 2008 Author Share Posted February 3, 2008 Joking about fucking kids is still fucked up. This is the same message board that has laughed at autism and made reference to masturbating to dead babies right? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momentumlost Posted February 3, 2008 Share Posted February 3, 2008 Man...I thought I was bad...I was sleeping with a coworker and wanted more than sex..she just wanted rebound sex...made working there a little akward... But damn...ya got me beat... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reginaldbuxley Posted February 3, 2008 Share Posted February 3, 2008 Bunch of noobs. I proceeded to tell this story at work the other day...*clears throat* "So my roommate was using the computer the other day and she heard the cat make a funny noise. She thought maybe he was choking or something so she went to check out what all the noise was about. At that point she realized his penis was erect, male cats have spines on their penis to rake the inner wall of the female - it helps impregnation - anyway, then she realized he was cleaning his stomach, which had some weird goop on it..... It was at that point she realized what was going on." I work with every stereotypical IT professional you can imagine. I'll have to try and remember some other stories. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momentumlost Posted February 3, 2008 Share Posted February 3, 2008 I had a coworker(who was black) who was going to pull a box outta a skid...I told him if he pulled it it would come down...he looked @ me, smiled...ripped the box out and yell "JENGA BITCH!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twelvetwenty Posted February 3, 2008 Author Share Posted February 3, 2008 I had a coworker(who was black) who was going to pull a box outta a skid...I told him if he pulled it it would come down...he looked @ me, smiled...ripped the box out and yell "JENGA BITCH!" That's really funny... I worked with a guy who said he found an abortion video online that was very graphic and that he wanted to put it on you tube as an instructional video. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reginaldbuxley Posted February 3, 2008 Share Posted February 3, 2008 I worked with a guy who said he found an abortion video online that was very graphic and that he wanted to put it on you tube as an instructional video. What's inappropriate about that? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kurtmanner Posted February 3, 2008 Share Posted February 3, 2008 Work was extremely slow the other night which makes us go a little nuts. This is extrememly inappropriate in the way of "if my manager saw me wasting time like this I would be dead". There were sombreros sitting around in the kitchen for some reason. One of those, some take-out containers, scissors, and a little tape was all I needed to kill an hour. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leerobert Posted February 3, 2008 Share Posted February 3, 2008 Over the 'busy' xmas period a workmate and myself spent a lot of time juggling oranges and melons instead of grilling food, I have no idea how we managed to pull it off. Or the time we shut a waitress in the walk-in freezer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nickbuysvinyl Posted February 3, 2008 Share Posted February 3, 2008 at my last job, we would do all kinds of shit, being night shift. Cardboard sword fights, throwing shit at each other from other sides of the warehouse, forklift races... i miss that place Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jhamm212 Posted February 3, 2008 Share Posted February 3, 2008 I used to work at a grocery store and I would bag the peoples' stuff and then we would offer to help them with their groceries out to their car and whenever I helped someone out that had a baby in the front part of the cart, I would just look at the baby and tell it how delicious it looked and make biting motions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gibby6385 Posted February 3, 2008 Share Posted February 3, 2008 I dated my owners daughter for 8 months, take about work being akward now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
valentine Posted February 3, 2008 Share Posted February 3, 2008 i miss working at costco at 2am. we would have pallet jack races around the warehouse, throw rotten fruits at one another, play the games on the display arcade machine, pull down the electric drum set and guitars and jam, write stuff off as going bad and eat it even though it has months to go, and just sit in the giant walk in cooler for about an hour once the store opened and we were supposed to go work up front if we were done. theres not a lot i can do at my current job being a waiter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magalvsr13 Posted February 3, 2008 Share Posted February 3, 2008 I dated my owners daughter for 8 months, take about work being akward now. do you....work on a plantation? dont you get whupped pretty good for that? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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