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Inappropriate Behavior At Work


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I'm sure I'm not the who one who says and does fucked up things at work. This can be a place to share those special moments. This is a real conversation between me and my very conservative boss:

Me: How old are your kids?

Boss: 8 and 11. Why?

Me: ...I want to have sex with an 8 year old.

Boss: (Kind of shocked, kind of amused) Dude, the 8 year old is my son.

Me: ...I want to have sex with your son.

It was one of the more amazing conversations I've had with him. He was not terribly amused.

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I'm sure I'm not the who one who says and does fucked up things at work. This can be a place to share those special moments. This is a real conversation between me and my very conservative boss:

Me: How old are your kids?

Boss: 8 and 11. Why?

Me: ...I want to have sex with an 8 year old.

Boss: (Kind of shocked, kind of amused) Dude, the 8 year old is my son.

Me: ...I want to have sex with your son.

It was one of the more amazing conversations I've had with him. He was not terribly amused.

i dont believe this happened at all.

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I'm cool with my boss. Part of him thinks that I'm mentally unstable (the other part thinks that I'm an alcoholic) and it affords me liberties that I may not otherwise be afforded. I serve as a type of comic relief to the store. I work retail and my boss himself is kind of a joke so really it's all good. I spend my days trying to weird him out because it's funny. No harm, no foul.

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Bunch of noobs.

I proceeded to tell this story at work the other day...*clears throat*

"So my roommate was using the computer the other day and she heard the cat make a funny noise. She thought maybe he was choking or something so she went to check out what all the noise was about.

At that point she realized his penis was erect, male cats have spines on their penis to rake the inner wall of the female - it helps impregnation - anyway, then she realized he was cleaning his stomach, which had some weird goop on it.....

It was at that point she realized what was going on."

I work with every stereotypical IT professional you can imagine. I'll have to try and remember some other stories.

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I had a coworker(who was black) who was going to pull a box outta a skid...I told him if he pulled it it would come down...he looked @ me, smiled...ripped the box out and yell "JENGA BITCH!"

That's really funny...

I worked with a guy who said he found an abortion video online that was very graphic and that he wanted to put it on you tube as an instructional video.

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Work was extremely slow the other night which makes us go a little nuts. This is extrememly inappropriate in the way of "if my manager saw me wasting time like this I would be dead". There were sombreros sitting around in the kitchen for some reason. One of those, some take-out containers, scissors, and a little tape was all I needed to kill an hour.

[image]

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I used to work at a grocery store and I would bag the peoples' stuff and then we would offer to help them with their groceries out to their car and whenever I helped someone out that had a baby in the front part of the cart, I would just look at the baby and tell it how delicious it looked and make biting motions.

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i miss working at costco at 2am. we would have pallet jack races around the warehouse, throw rotten fruits at one another, play the games on the display arcade machine, pull down the electric drum set and guitars and jam, write stuff off as going bad and eat it even though it has months to go, and just sit in the giant walk in cooler for about an hour once the store opened and we were supposed to go work up front if we were done.

theres not a lot i can do at my current job being a waiter.

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