futures Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 I keep backing out on every occasion the dude I like asks me to hang. We've been talking for months now, but he lives in South Jersey. So, it's kind of hard to see him. I don't know what to do because I really do like him, but I don't want to get involved right now after all the shit I've been through the last few months (even anything physical, but my mind is screaming "do him" all the time). I just feel like I'm being a huge dick and wish he would just move onto someone better and closer. I have no idea why he hasn't already. Can someone on here just punch me instead of giving me man advice? kthnx I think the easiest (and also the hardest) thing to do would be to just tell him you aren't looking for anything more than a friendship at this point in time. I know it's easier said than done. =\ I certainly don't think you'll be viewed as a dick if you're just straight up with him about how you feel. I was in a similar situation two years ago. The guy I liked lived in Brooklyn and me in South Jersey (weird?) and I made every effort to try to make something happen, but it was hard with the distance so we only ever hung out roughly once a month. Needless to say it never amounted to anything because I couldn't deal with the inconsistency because of the distance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oohdoiloveyou Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 I think the easiest (and also the hardest) thing to do would be to just tell him you aren't looking for anything more than a friendship at this point in time. I know it's easier said than done. =\ I certainly don't think you'll be viewed as a dick if you're just straight up with him about how you feel. I was in a similar situation two years ago. The guy I liked lived in Brooklyn and me in South Jersey (weird?) and I made every effort to try to make something happen, but it was hard with the distance so we only ever hung out roughly once a month. Needless to say it never amounted to anything because I couldn't deal with the inconsistency because of the distance. Yeah, I know I should. An awful part of me just wants to be selfish, want his attention all the time. I've been talking to him less though. Trying to distance myself even more. But I think once he brings up trying to hang out again, I'll just tell him that I really can't do it, be honest. Ahaha, totally weird! I don't even know why I want to try because I can't handle being with someone when there's all that distance between us. Still such a bummer though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oohdoiloveyou Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 got to the 3 minute mark and then got distracted. Relevant though~ I JUST WANT DICK. But I don't want to do it with someone I actually like and respect and have that ruin things. I also really don't want to just fuck some random stranger. There's only so much I can do with my hands. There is no solution. I am going to die. xoxo whinygirl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 i just want it on the reg. why is that so much to ask? i NEVER get it on the reg. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thebiglebowski Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 Huzzzzah. Got the yes. She said she was working, went out to dinner, etc. Little ridiculous she left me hanging from 1:30 to 10:30 but whatever. Thanks for the advice to tear it up solo but this is what I wanted. It still has the "just friends" clause on it so I'm not on a leash and could still scout talent. This girl is worth the effort. Only see it helping my chances. Thinking I might go out and get a new suit tomorrow. Only one I currently own is the one I wore for my high school senior photo. It's a little bit of a tight fit. I have my dissertation defense in a month too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 yeah, definitely get a new suit. TREAT YOSELF Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thebiglebowski Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 Any quick tips? I really haven't suit shopped since I was 17. About to join the business world. They say how you dress makes a difference. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 GET ONE LIKE DAVID BYRNE! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 ^ The best...love that flick! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smash2pieces Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 My opinion (from speech's I've heard and thought did a good job) is two minutes, don't rush it, but get to the point and be done. People screw them up with too many details and trying to make too many jokes and stuff. Not trying to prove that you are the best man by writing something better than no one else could. Just do your job of highlighting the couple and get to the toast. Man, I wish I had a videotape of the last maid of honor speech I heard. I could probably point myself out in the background laughing (it was so bad and went on forever I almost lost it and had to walk out of the room). It was contagious laughter with me and my cousins all thinking the same thing. Haha! The funny thing is that I can picture that happening to the maid of honor at this wedding. Thanks a lot for the advice though, it's always good to hear from someone with experience. I know that I shouldn't be too nervous considering it's two of my best friends geting married. Should be a good time, but I will probably, definitely, be back in this thread when it gets closer! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smash2pieces Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 everyone usually cries, so just start crying and blame any errors on your blubbering mental state. i started my maid of honor speech at my sister's wedding with a zombie reference to break the ice. zombies were also the one thing my mom forbid me to mention. Now I see why everyone on this board likes you so much haha! This has definitely been discussed as a back-up plan though. The groom himself told me that everyone expects me to be wasted...maybe I'll just keep a flask on me for after the speech Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maneatingcow Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 Ughhhh...I dread a best man's speech. I have two equal best friends (so 3 of us total) and I made a deal with one of them that we would both choose the guy outside the deal so we wouldn't have to do it. We'll see though. Not the end of the world. Just something I would be totally fine never doing. Start planting the seed with a bridesmaid whenever you can... I've fucked up Best Man speechs both times I've had to give them. The first time I was 19 and had never been to a Wedding Reception before. I mean I knew that Best Man speeches were a thing, but my brother who was the guy getting married said that they aren't doing anything traditional and I shouldn't have to worry about doing anything as a Best Man. I took that as not to worry about doing a Best Man Speech. I was way the fuck wrong. I had about 30 seconds to prepare and gave a rambling semi incoherent speech. The upside is the Bridesmaids speech was worse than mine. The second time I should have given a best mans speech was at my Brothers second wedding a couple years back. This time I was certain that I wouldn't have to give any kind of a speech. They got married at a courthouse and I was specifically told that I wasn't invited. In fact only her family was invited. A few weeks later they threw together a little dinner with a handful of family, and apparently there I was supposed to have something prepared. I didn't. I look like a rambling incoherent asshole. Lesson learned, I will henceforth have a Best Man Speech at the ready for my brother if it is ever needed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thehippysteve Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 in high school. doesn't everyone kiss in high school? the wedding thing, seriously, go solo. single girls there will be in such a mood to get it on... seeing a couple cement their love in a large ceremony usually has that effect. I don't fully understand the allure of casual sex after a wedding, isn't that like the opposite idea of what the ceremony should give off? i just want it on the reg. why is that so much to ask? i NEVER get it on the reg. This is on the pros list for relationships And as far as best man stuff goes, not too into the idea of giving one. Gonna work on a plan like my buddy Casey has with his brothers. Brother #1 sticks Brother #2 with best man duties (luck involved there), Casey says to Brother #2 "Man you gotta get back Brother #1 for sticking that on you" and Brother #2 agrees. Bam enjoy an open bar and make of fool of yourself that way instead of stumbling over words. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 I don't fully understand the allure of casual sex after a wedding, isn't that like the opposite idea of what the ceremony should give off? at weddings, single girls get lonely and sad that they're still single. (for the most part)... personally I've never done that. but I'm in like 5 weddings in the next year, so I'm looking forward to seeing who ends up with who at the end of the night. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 i definitely hooked up with a brides maid at the last wedding i was at. no penetraiche though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rudeboydh Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 This is on the pros list for relationships NON-TRUTH! Honestly, it just depends on the girl and how much she wants it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oohdoiloveyou Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 NON-TRUTH! Honestly, it just depends on the girl and how much she wants it. bummmmerrrrrrrr Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rudeboydh Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 bummmmerrrrrrrr yeah... I probably get laid like... once a month? If that? Also, is it just me or does spring make people hornier? Cause I'm definately feeling it now... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 yeah... I probably get laid like... once a month? If that? Also, is it just me or does spring make people hornier? Cause I'm definately feeling it now... man, i've been there. in the 2 actual relationships i've had, one girl would always fall asleep before we could buck. and the other was a thousand miles away. spring probably does have an effect. i can't back it up with anything other than people generally wearing more less clothes. i know i'm revved up though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rudeboydh Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 yeah, I think things will get better soon. I have to get up at 3 AM for work, so I've been having to get to bed by like 8:00 at the latest. Everytime we've done it recently, I'll wake up at like 11:00 at night to my penis being touched. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigbruise Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 Spring means one thing fellas, the return of cleavage. And legs, goddammit I love legs ronniegwilliams and nobodybrokeurheart 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oohdoiloveyou Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 yeah... I probably get laid like... once a month? If that? Also, is it just me or does spring make people hornier? Cause I'm definately feeling it now... Damn, and I thought I was dying and I'm not even in a relationship. Spring means it's finally warm enough to do it outside! But It's still damn cold here. Keeping my winter legs until it hits like 55 degrees. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rudeboydh Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 Damn, and I thought I was dying and I'm not even in a relationship. ehh... I have some "coping mechanisms" if you know what I mean. It's just been really bad lately... I've been getting awkward unwanted boners like all fucking week... nobodybrokeurheart 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ronniegwilliams Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 So not having sex with this girl is getting really really tough, but man oh man is it gonna be worth it. Over the last year I've slept with more girls than I'm stoked to admit, and they were all just drunken flings, there was nothing of actual substance or emotion. Pretty sure I'm in love with this girl, so that's pretty rad. Sorry to cheese out the thread. unwound 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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