...but i got a great tan this weekend!

[Guest]

a couple months ago, i was playing frisbee with some friends in the backyard of the house i used to live at. minding our own business, having some drinks. a group of people showed up threatening to burn the house down and kill one of the guys who lives there.. because he filed a late insurance claim on a fender bender that they were involved with.

it was… uncomfortable.

 

 

--

 

 

the day that the daft punk album leaked, i went up to the mountain and got stoned while i listened to it. then i ran it back, and headed to the mall because i had a closing shift. whilst slightly buzzed, i wandered the mall still listening, and made my way to the bathroom in the food court. took the first urinal in an empty room before a guy came in and took the urinal directly next to mine. it wasn't long before my peripheral caught him getting off directly next to me.

 

later that week, i met a girl and everything felt magnificent.

even when i was told i was losing my job, i didn't really care. because girl!!

 

that was a month ago. i've since lost said job. and said girl. and that general feeling of magnificence. 

 

i got drunk this week. coping, i suppose. 

 

oh, and i got an oil change this week. needed that.. was definitely overdue. i figured that's why my engine light was on. nah, that's still there. and i need new tires- which will tally up to 8 tires replaced on this car in 3 years of ownership. brakes are shot to shit, too. but i knew that already.

 

so yeah, i got drunk this week. 

 

and i woke up every morning feeling like fucking garbage.

 

especially today, though. you can probably chalk it up to a lot of cardio, a ton of time spent in the sun, and a terrible appetite over a 3 day span.

but there's also heartache, and that feeling of everyone else having fun without me. which was dumb. it was so dumb of me. i spent time with a bunch of friends this weekend, and i can't cry just because i wasn't at the beach with… anyone. 

 

but anyways..

 

i had to work at 3 this afternoon, and i decided that i would just go get stoned on the mountain again, and just enjoy some more sunshine before having to go in. sounded way better than moping in bed all day.

 

while i was in the shower, my parents left.

 

about 12 minutes later, i got a phone call from a guy who was frantic in telling me that my dad was just in an accident.

 

 

 

--

 

 

 

 

i was told that my dad was in an accident, and he tried calling the cops. but the guys involved in the accident are running from the law. so they pistol-whipped my dad, and took them away. 

i was told that they gave them my number, because these guys wanted money from me.

they kept me on the phone for 3 hours, pretty much in a wild goose chase, while concocting any way they could to get money from me. and they were adamant that i stayed on the line with them through everything.

 

 

it's just so fucking embarrassing that it took me 3 hours to finally just text my friend back and tell him to go see if my parents were home. 

i got a text from him saying they were in the pool. and then a call from my mom asking what was going on.

 

i just started sobbing. didn't tell them a thing and just started driving home… the worst/best/worst drive home of my life.

got back, went to the police station, and then drank about a quarter-bottle of kraken while my mom did the same to malibu, and my dad, a series of miller lites.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

--

 

i just spent 3 hours wandering, aimlessly through my backyard. it felt wonderful. i danced in the moonlight. i crumbled in tearful agony. i questioned & pondered many, many things. 

i spent a considerable amount of time focused on my regained interest for a career in teaching art. 

i smoked a few times. 

i told the moon to tell me something. and it did. it was truly astonishing.

i also think i'm ready to actually admit to someone who's willing to listen that i want to see a therapist.

 

but all i've really wanted to know today- is why does this shit keep happening to me? what could i possibly do to deserve this constant barrage of terrible?

i have a kind heart. i honestly don't know how to act with malicious intent. all i ever want is to just enjoy life with whoever happens to be there at the time. even if i'm the only one there.

 

yet the universe just keeps finding new ways to slap me with a hand full of spit.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[tokimedo]

this is like poetry, seriously. 

[Thrice55]

this is like poetry, seriously. 

Expertly crafted sir, loved reading it. As for solution? There's no telling what the universe has in store for any of us, take it in stride and try as little as possible to look what's happened or even for that matter, what is bound to happen. Seize the moment and cherish what's currently part of your life, no matter how insignificant any of it may seem. We all have a purpose, some of us have a light shining directly where we should and eventually will be. But some of us, scratch that... Most of us have to endure shit scenarios and even shittier solutions to said scenarios. But sometimes it's incredibly hard to step back and realize all the good things in life and so easy to get lost in the shit it throws at you. So with all that being said, take nothing for granted and continue to have a sound set of morals on your shoulders. Good luck with everything bro and don't hesitate to reach out to any of us here (not to speak for others) but an open ear is just a PM away

[controlthebleeding]

sounds like my weekends when i was a kid. 

[Stickman31]

yet the universe just keeps finding new ways to slap me with a hand full of spit.

My life, the sentence. If you wanna talk things out, I'm here man. Message me

[David The Gnome]

Man, it'd be awesome if we could know exactly where to focus our energy in life. If we could know what to pour our heart into and then watch it be fruitful and worthwhile. I think you're on the right track. Seeing a therapist can't hurt, in my opinion. Talking through everything is as healthy as it gets. Also, it seems like you have a way with words when you want to. Ever think of pairing writing and art, since you're interested in that? That could be an interesting outlet. Either way man, ups and downs. Ups and downs. You've definitely gone through a crazy last *period of time* but you've got that all under your belt now and you're still kicking; still able to take a walk up the mountain, clear your head, and feel like a slab of butter melting over a pile of flapjacks. Things won't always be like how they are now. Shit, they might get worse. Try and find the details in the moment that you can benefit from, that you can appreciate and take with you.

I don't even know where I'm going with this anymore, just rambling about being positive so, yeah. Good luck with everything, man. You've got a bunch of people here for you.

[Guest]

whoa, that was crazy. had to read it 3 times to fully comprehend what is going on here.

[thebiglebowski]

So much there. Bummer.

 

I don't mean to come off trite (the other stuff is obviously a bigger bummer than car trouble) but if you are burning though tires (and not cause you keep running over nails or something) then maybe need an alignment. Not expensive. I also never buy new tires. $30 used ones. Work fine, last plenty long enough. And you can get 5 of them for the price of one new, so when you do run over a nail it's just a little hassle to get the donut out and put it on, but at least you didn't just throw $150 out the window (what my dealership wanted to charge me). I've had bad luck with nails / debris (at least a tire a year the last 5 or so years).

 

If your car is giving you a lot of shit, might want to invest in an OBD2 reader. They are about $20 on amazon. At least when that engine light pops on, you can read what it's saying and do the initial diagnosis yourself. Definitely useful and works on all newer cars (if you move on from this one).

 

"Too much" cardio not gonna help. The competitive cyclers have this thing they call "junk miles" -- when someone slows down their pace to one they can essentially pedal at indefinitely. It just wears the body down without improving strength or cardiovascular endurance. Lots of cardio not my thing but you might get something out of googling "junk miles".

 

^ Hope maybe something in there helps alleviate one worry going forward. No little tips that I know of for how to deal with someone threatening to hurt your dad if you don't give them money. WTF. Sorry dude.

[turbobrando]

A lot to take it. Crazy about your dad and it's good to know everything is alright with that. At least you're going outside to enjoy the weather

[futures]

I think Sapst said it best.  There's no way to tell why certain things happen to certain people, but just know that you're stronger than what life throws at you.  Hope things start to look up sooner than later for ya, Ry.  That phone call about your dad is wild, though.  I'm really glad he's okay and that all it was was a hoax.

[Guest]

Sometimes life sucks but in the end you have to:

 

[Guest]

So much there. Bummer.

 

I don't mean to come off trite (the other stuff is obviously a bigger bummer than car trouble) but if you are burning though tires (and not cause you keep running over nails or something) then maybe need an alignment. Not expensive. I also never buy new tires. $30 used ones. Work fine, last plenty long enough. And you can get 5 of them for the price of one new, so when you do run over a nail it's just a little hassle to get the donut out and put it on, but at least you didn't just throw $150 out the window (what my dealership wanted to charge me). I've had bad luck with nails / debris (at least a tire a year the last 5 or so years).

 

If your car is giving you a lot of shit, might want to invest in an OBD2 reader. They are about $20 on amazon. At least when that engine light pops on, you can read what it's saying and do the initial diagnosis yourself. Definitely useful and works on all newer cars (if you move on from this one).

 

"Too much" cardio not gonna help. The competitive cyclers have this thing they call "junk miles" -- when someone slows down their pace to one they can essentially pedal at indefinitely. It just wears the body down without improving strength or cardiovascular endurance. Lots of cardio not my thing but you might get something out of googling "junk miles".

 

^ Hope maybe something in there helps alleviate one worry going forward. No little tips that I know of for how to deal with someone threatening to hurt your dad if you don't give them money. WTF. Sorry dude.

 

i've had 4 flats- all just shit luck with a nail or something. and i've had 4 just wear down to nothing. even got an alignment about 8 months ago. plus i try to only buy used tires.. one of the few things i picked up on while working at a dealership.

 

i will say that the ride i went for on saturday was almost entirely junk miles. i had gone hiking the previous 2 days, and my legs were just damn tired at that point. but i'll look into it. 

[dethrock]

I've never had this many shitty things happen in such a short amount of time, I can't even imagine going through all this.

 

What was the part about your dad being in an accident, but he was actually at home in the pool? I didn't really understand that.

[Guest]

From what I understand, the new scam nowadays is to call people and tell them their family is in trouble and to send money ASAP. More often than not, it is total BS so if you receive such a call, make sure you check in on your people as Ry did.

[Guest]

Man, it'd be awesome if we could know exactly where to focus our energy in life. If we could know what to pour our heart into and then watch it be fruitful and worthwhile. I think you're on the right track. Seeing a therapist can't hurt, in my opinion. Talking through everything is as healthy as it gets. Also, it seems like you have a way with words when you want to. Ever think of pairing writing and art, since you're interested in that? That could be an interesting outlet. Either way man, ups and downs. Ups and downs. You've definitely gone through a crazy last *period of time* but you've got that all under your belt now and you're still kicking; still able to take a walk up the mountain, clear your head, and feel like a slab of butter melting over a pile of flapjacks. Things won't always be like how they are now. Shit, they might get worse. Try and find the details in the moment that you can benefit from, that you can appreciate and take with you.

I don't even know where I'm going with this anymore, just rambling about being positive so, yeah. Good luck with everything, man. You've got a bunch of people here for you.

 

i've always had a weird relationship with writing. people have told me they like the way i use my words. i generally find it easier than talking. i miss the days of tl;dr brand new show reviews on livejournal. even took a couple creative writing classes.

i just think the fact that i'm not well-read has always held me back from trying anything.

 

i do think it could be a useful tool going forward with wanting to teach. because i don't really care about running a course where all i'm expected to do is show some kids how to draw good.

 

i've always been strongly opinionated, and rarely shy about it. some of you may have noticed in a relient k or thrice thread along the way. but in my own little way, i see it far less as me being condescending, and more of me being an advocate of better art.

i want to teach kids because i want the opportunity to expose them to how much better art is out there. i want to allow the freedom of medium- "for this assignment, you can write, draw, paint, sing...". and i want to teach kids to do exactly the opposite of what i did in school. because i never had an interest in actually learning anything. i came out of high school and college with, what feels like no education to show for all those years.

i just want to be a voice that comes from the heart that can hopefully shape some kids' future for the better.

 

i've always been on the fence about whether or not i want to have kids. and the only reason i ever lean towards yes, is because i just want a mini-me. but last night i considered that maybe fatherhood won't be for me. and maybe making a career out of forming little mini-me's would be way more rewarding.

[Guest]

I've never had this many shitty things happen in such a short amount of time, I can't even imagine going through all this.

 

What was the part about your dad being in an accident, but he was actually at home in the pool? I didn't really understand that.

 

they had just left to go pick up my grandma from church. and her church is in the really crappy, almost entirely hispanic part of town. so when i got a call from a hispanic guy saying that a black nissan 4 door was just in an accident.. well he had me. (this is the part that still has us so worried).

i waited it out at home for a while to see if they'd come back.

even drove by my grandma's house during the frenzy.

 

worst part is that they sent me to a grocery store to do the wire. there are two of the same in town, and for some reason i chose the one i rarely go to. after dropping off my grandma, my parents went to the other one.

[Guest]

so did they actually get money from you?

[Guest]

about $400 in the end

[Team Avatar]

wow, holy shit.

 

maybe there's something big you can do, like a change in your life.  I sound annoying and lame when I say stuff like " oh, maybe stop smoking ", or "oh, go vegan", but there a ton of different things you can do, and a change in your life can help give you a sense of "purpose" or "motivation" which could really help keep you positive.

[zacaroo21]

Dude, that is some whack shit. Hope all works out for you ry...I'm betting that there will be a nice turn around in store for you soon. Find one thing to be happy about and truly be happy on that one thing. You'll start rubbing that happiness off in other aspects

[3arl]

All I can say is fuck that. It sucks to see good people going through tough shit.

[turnstiles]

Ry, that sucks, sorry bro, if you ever need to talk let me know.

[JessRD]

That really sucks, I'm sorry all that happened to you.  Sometimes when shitty things happen, its nice to go out and do something positive.  (Maybe actually volunteer teaching kids some art this summer).  I don't know that works for me.  The tire thing...I totally get that.  I got 3 flats this winter; after replacing all four tires at the beginning of the fall.  By the end of the winter I winded up having to buy a new wheel.  Horrible Jersey potholes and low-profile tires make for a terrible winter experience.  For whatever it's worth, I would consider myself pretty well read as I am constantly reading about 4 books at a time...your writing was pretty captivating.  Could be a good outlet, if it helps...

[Guest]

thank you. to everyone who responded with words of encouragement. hell, to anyone who even bothered to read.

i know i've said it countless times now, but i have an unbelievable appreciation for this community. i've never had an outlet that allowed me to get THIS personal, while being able to rely on such strong support.

 

the girl who i speak of- she texted me today. asked how my weekend was.

 

i responded several hours later with a brief version of what i had to say in here. and i finished it by telling her that i can't allow myself to be a fool. of course, i want things to work out between us, but if she isn't going to put in the effort, then i'm done.

 

 

 

 

not even a response.

[seangj]

the girl who i speak of- she texted me today. asked how my weekend was.

 

i responded several hours later with a brief version of what i had to say in here. and i finished it by telling her that i can't allow myself to be a fool. of course, i want things to work out between us, but if she isn't going to put in the effort, then i'm done.

 

 

 

 

not even a response.

 

Ouch. Well at least you let her know that you were done with having your emotions played around with. Could save a lot of trouble and pain that could happen later.