jhulud

MAN ADVICE v2.0

2,803 posts in this topic

I did say Hail Mary, he's pretty much already out of the game if they all think he's just trying to get laid.

Rather be a pussy than an asshole.

A Hail Mary usually has a +/- 5% chance of working.  Spewing all that Tinder stuff and throwing her friends in the mix along with being insecure will put him at exactly 0% chance.

 

I don't think she should be bothered.  They didn't appear to be exclusive (unless he left that part out), so if they were still in the dating phase, I'd think he's free to see and pursue other people.

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Here's my story. I had a thing going with this girl for like 2 solid months. We will refer to this girl as "A" to make things less confusing. A and I hung out all the time, would hug and kiss each other goodbye and all that stuff, talk every day. Her friends said she was really into me and everything. And then I went to Whistler/Vancouver in February. A girl who I had a crush on for a long time lived there, who we shall call "B". B and I hung out and I felt like I had feelings for her again. So A and I pretty much stopped talking. It was weird, because I know A was really into me, but she stopped talking to me too around the same time. Anyways, fast forward to a few weeks ago, and I finally realized that B is a lame person and is no fun and I have no idea why I ever had feelings for her. A on the other hand is pretty cool, but I was too stupid to realize that I was wrecking something good we had going. Anyways, I kind of started talking to A again, she agreed to meet for coffee and talk about stuff. But she keeps saying how she's not mad at me, life just got in the way of us blah blah blah, and that she hasn't really thought about it too much (bullshit?). But I have her one friend in my ear telling me if I try and pull anything on her after not talking to her for 3 months then she will kill me, and she keeps calling me an ass hole. When I told A this, she said not to worry, that's just how her friend is. So I really have no idea where I stand. Supposedly we're supposed to be going for coffee sometime soon, but whenever I text her, she answers and everything's cool and we talk, then she randomly stops responding in the middle of conversations, and she won't text me first, so I don't want to come off as annoying. It just sucks because before this whole thing happened, she was always texting me asking to hangout and stuff and now she says she's not mad at me at all, and it was both of our fault that we stopped talking, yet it feels like I'm the only one making an effort to keep in contact. Moral of the story, I fucked up.

THE END.

from my experience I had a guy I liked, we talked and he blew me off for a month then wanted to talk again. I felt like he didn't really like me so I was guarded and I wouldn't initiate conversations and I would often cut out mid conversation because I didn't want to look needy since I was the one that got ignored. Give it time and if she really likes you, things will get better but i can see why it's not back to the way it was. And I wouldn't say either of you are at fault because it wasn't an established relationship when it faded out.

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But I have her one friend in my ear telling me if I try and pull anything on her after not talking to her for 3 months then she will kill me, and she keeps calling me an ass hole.  When I told A this, she said not to worry, that's just how her friend is.  

 

my best friend is like this. just ignore said friend for now. she's probably just trying to scare you off to see how committed you are to actually being with her friend this time.

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Why not just be real? Why lie?

Girls sense insincerity from a mile away, we're known for our particularly good instincts.

Sure, not every female follows them, but she has them. Don't test it.

honestly I wouldn't really call that a lie. Guys using tinder are either lonely or horny. I was just giving my dude the benefit of the doubt that he wasn't just trying to get laid.

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from my experience I had a guy I liked, we talked and he blew me off for a month then wanted to talk again. I felt like he didn't really like me so I was guarded and I wouldn't initiate conversations and I would often cut out mid conversation because I didn't want to look needy since I was the one that got ignored. Give it time and if she really likes you, things will get better but i can see why it's not back to the way it was. And I wouldn't say either of you are at fault because it wasn't an established relationship when it faded out.

Thanks.  I can definitely see this being the case, because I know from plenty of mutual friends that she really liked me.  And the needy things makes sense too.  After we didn't talk for a while I guess she's obviously not going to be all exuberant and asking me to hang out and stuff.

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We totally weren't exclusive.  We hadn't even been anything for that long ( 3 weeks? ) but she was totally into me until I guess the past few days when it went away completely.  It could have been longer but IDK.  She had messages from people on tinder when I went to the show with her but i obviously didn't say anything cause idc.

 

Maybe she truly does want to sit at home and fix her other problems and doesn't want any boys in her life, but from my experience that's just an old excuse in the book.

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Jacob once matched with my friend on Tinder and I pretty much turned into Barkinglot's Girl A's friend. I believe my precise words were "YOU BE NICE TO MY BABY PRINCESS."

 

 

Yo your friend literally stopped talking to me after like 5 messages.  I'm afraid of what you probably told her about me!!!!!!

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A Hail Mary usually has a +/- 5% chance of working. Spewing all that Tinder stuff and throwing her friends in the mix along with being insecure will put him at exactly 0% chance.

I don't think she should be bothered. They didn't appear to be exclusive (unless he left that part out), so if they were still in the dating phase, I'd think he's free to see and pursue other people.

like I said, I'd rather them think I'm insecure than a guy that just wants to fuck everyone. If she sees I'm being real and gives me another chance then bonus! But I'd be fine with her at least knowing I'm not that type of guy.

Getting the girl sometimes isn't all we care about. Being called a slut sometimes hurts dudes too depending who it's coming from.

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Yo your friend literally stopped talking to me after like 5 messages.  I'm afraid of what you probably told her about me!!!!!!

 

Hahahahaha, I didn't tell her anything bad, I swear! Just how I knew you etc. etc. etc. 

She does that though, the only reason she has OkCupid/Tinder/ETC. is because we got super bored on tour and that's how we wasted time. I normally don't talk to people past five messages on either of those apps when I have them. She also legitimately has a lot going on her life right now, I barely even get to talk to her and we might as well be attached at the hip.

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I could never use tinder or any of those apps.  They seem so shallow, and I get the impression from the people who I know that use it, that 90% of the dudes/girls on it are not the greatest of people.

 

My one friend has it, so I took it one night when we were all drinking and asked 20+ girls what their favorite type of lizard was.  The results were amazing.

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ALSO another reason why sometimes friends get super over-protective is because at the end of the day, if something goes wrong, guess who has to clean up that mess? Us. I'm sure everyone has been in a position with a friend after a relationship fails, it's scary and sad. No one wants to see someone they love get hurt, so we shoot lasers out of our eyes and hope you get the hint to take it easy.

 

I'm pretty much always the friend that gets called during a break up or a huge fight, it's emotionally exhausting and it sucks to watch people go through it. So if I don't trust you and you're making moves on a close friend, you better bet that I'll be the first one to send you threatening smoke signals.

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ALSO another reason why sometimes friends get super over-protective is because at the end of the day, if something goes wrong, guess who has to clean up that mess? Us. I'm sure everyone has been in a position with a friend after a relationship fails, it's scary and sad. No one wants to see someone they love get hurt, so we shoot lasers out of our eyes and hope you get the hint to take it easy.

I'm pretty much always the friend that gets called during a break up or a huge fight, it's emotionally exhausting and it sucks to watch people go through it. So if I don't trust you and you're making moves on a close friend, you better bet that I'll be the first one to send you threatening smoke signals.

Yes! This. I have spent way too much time trying to calm my friend down after he repeatedly goes back to the same woman. I want to punch her face in and that's mostly because I'm exhausted from having to deal with how crappy she is to my friend.

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ALSO another reason why sometimes friends get super over-protective is because at the end of the day, if something goes wrong, guess who has to clean up that mess? Us. I'm sure everyone has been in a position with a friend after a relationship fails, it's scary and sad. No one wants to see someone they love get hurt, so we shoot lasers out of our eyes and hope you get the hint to take it easy.

I'm pretty much always the friend that gets called during a break up or a huge fight, it's emotionally exhausting and it sucks to watch people go through it. So if I don't trust you and you're making moves on a close friend, you better bet that I'll be the first one to send you threatening smoke signals.

yeah I'd say it's the main reason, specially for life long bffs. being in that position SUCKS

I know I annoyed the shit out of my best friend with a couple of ex's and to be honest I'm sure I lost a friend or two along the way bc once you're in that relationship, all advice and input usually goes out the window when strong feelings are involved.

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