Sad Heart

I have a list of about 20 movies that most of you haven't heard of that you need to see. Interested?

Always grade a mark down just in case. Some people on ebay are fucking weird and freak the fuck out.

Oh god. ICP? Really, guys? Yeah, I'm outta here for at least 24 hours...

Keep it up.

I missed out on that Windhand split. : ( In the mail: Slow Season - Mountains TMR Vault #21 Unwound - Rat Conspiracy Coheed - IKSSE:3 - Gray Set & Setting Pre orders: TMR Vault #22 Jakob Foo Fighters - Sonic Highways

You can only get to it if you're flying... I just drove 20 miniutes for nothing.

At least I came home to this:

They wouldn't let me bring it in... But I did get a tour. I am as I type this though. Does that count?

Welp so much for that. You have to be flying in or out to get to it since it's passed security...

Guys, I'm going to SubPop today!

They take two shits in your office.

Did you take a shit in the break room? They don't like that.

I just woke up and only slept for about 3 hours. Why the fuck am I awake? WHY.

Got my shipping confirmation yesterday morning.

The new Slow Seasons song sounds fucking killer. (Stream in link.) Preordered the fuck out of it. http://ridingeasyrecords.com/product/slow-season-mountains-vinyl/

I would be a mindless drone, going on with no meaning.

I don't. It's on my wish list though. I got an email of amazon daily deals, and Firefly was on it, so I pounced.

I wish I could say that everyone used this method, but sadly they don't. A fair amount of people are shallow, and / or rude. I wish people had the common courtesy to just tell someone after a first date "hey, I think you a great person, but I just didn't feel that spark", and I wish you all the best. Thank you for the lovely evening". That's just wishful thinking on my part. Being fairly introverted I had to really push myself to be social, especially while I was living in Brooklyn two years ago. It was rough, really rough. I know how to socialize with people just fine, it's the fact that I don't really want to. What I've learned over the past 10 years of meeting girls, hooking up, putting myself out there is this, I don't really need everyone to like me, neither do I want to. When you go on these just be yourself. I know that is corny as fuck, but really, be yourself. That way you eliminate that whole 'what did I do' factor. You could look back on that date through a specator's eyes and say "yeah, I did fine". I use to take it personally when I met a girl I really liked, and she didn't feel the same. But then I take her persepctive and think should I really take it personally that just because they like me, I should like them? No. It's not fair. Do I wish they did? Fuck yeah I do. I've met a large handful of girls over the past decade that I thought I could be more than friends with, and they just weren't on the same level, or I drunkenly took them home, and they never talked to me again; ironically the ladder was more insulting. I'm rambling... Anyway, what I'm trying to say is, be socialable in dosses, be yourself, do it in stride, and don't get discouraged. There were so many times where I wanted to say fuck it, and be done, and I still have to tell myself everyday that I need to work on my state of mind, and give a shit, but that ironic "it'll be worth it" moment really is worth it. Shes out there, and sifting through the countless boring people, and endless banter, mindless second guessing yourself, it really is worth it. As far as throwing out sexy vibes, I would only really do that if it feels right. Unless you're at that low point in your life, like 1 year for me after a long term train wreck, where you fuck anything that moves, don't think about it. Let the sexual, emotional connection come naturally. I try to think of it like just hanging out with your best friend (on a first date). Be yourself and don't hold back (within reason - don't be an asshole), so she can get a feel of who you really are. Sometimes they will hate you, and sometimes they won't. I remember taking this girl to the Charleston in BKa couple years back, and I talked her fucking head off, all about music. I would talk about my favorite artists, albums, songs, lyrics, verse, notes, influences, how music used so much of your brain, how it related and influences everything, how music is what life is all about. I must have talked for 3 hours, and fuck me if she didn't listen to every word. I don't even remember if she even really said anything, and I honestly think it's the most I've ever talked in that type of situatution. I never ended up going out with her again, didn't even really feel anything, but god damn that was one of the best moments, not dates, but moments I've ever had. I poured my heard out to this girl about what I truly love and live for, and she listened to every word. We might have not really connected, but she was polite, and appreciated what I had to say. I'll cherish that memory, even if it didn't lead to another date... Forever rambling... I think we can't generalize anything about women, especially when it's something about what they're thinking. I sure hope they don't all think at the end of the date that we want sex, or are just going on the date to get laid. There are more points on the spectrum than that, but you never know, what they think unless you ask. Seriously, just be ballsy on your next date and ask them where they expect this date to go. Obviously, don't sound like a dick when you say, but meaningfully ask them. Then you both know the expectations, and you mellow out A LOT. It takes so much tension off the table if youopen up, and end up being on the same page. It's a whole new perspective. In short, please sift through all the endless, mindless bullshit and experience life. It is really shitty at times, but the few great moments you get out of it, fuck they are worth it. It might not seem like it, but it is. Just keep proper perspective, and make a great playlist for your life. And no, you're not unworthy, so fuck even thinking that. Take the positive out of it, and think about how you didn't waste anymore time with someone that wasn't on the same page as you, and didn't connect with you. As Alice Cooper woild say "You're worthy, you're worthy. Get up."

Just bought Firefly on bluray for $15. FUCK. YES.

Oh, Aubrey. I'm downloading Life After Beth right now. Pretty stoked to watch it.