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Official Simpsons Quote Thread


mattramone
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Homer: It's just a little dirty. It's still good, it's still good!

[Passes traffic, jumps a bridge and lands in the water.]

It's just a little slimy, it's still good, it's still good!

[it gets caught in a dam spillway, and when the pressure builds,

it shoots into the sky.]

It's just a little airborne, it's still good, it's still good!

Bart: [Crestfallen.] It's gone.

Homer: I know.

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Guest naytoid

Homer: Marge? Since I'm not talking to Lisa, would you please ask her to pass me the syrup?

Marge: Dear, please pass your father the syrup, Lisa.

Lisa: Bart, tell Dad I will only pass the syrup if it won't be used on any meat product.

Bart: You dunkin' your sausages in that syrup homeboy?

Homer: Marge, tell Bart I just want to drink a nice glass of syrup like I do every morning.

Marge: Tell him yourself, you're ignoring Lisa, not Bart.

Homer: Bart, thank your mother for pointing that out.

Marge: Homer, you're not not-talking to me and secondly I heard what you said.

Homer: Lisa, tell your mother to get off my case.

Bart: Uhhh, dad, Lisa's the one you're not talking to.

Homer: Bart, go to your room.

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no ones gay for moleman.

and one day when bart and lisa get married, it'll be theirs.

you mean married to other people.

whatever, but i ain't payin for two weddings.

and pretty much everything from the monorail episode:

Does whiskey count as beer?

sorry, i shouldn't have stoped for that haircut

Homer, there's someone here who can help you.

Batman?

No, he's a scientist.

Batmans a scientist.

it's not batman!

i call the big one bitey.

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Guest naytoid

(Rod is wearing a Butthole Surfers shit)

Rod: I’m a surfer! (he acts like he’s surfing)

Homer: here's a quarter. You go call for help, and I'll protect the sugar.

Hans: If only this sugar were as sweet as you, sir.

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