thischarmingman

Does anyone have digital files for the SN and Quake soundtracks?  Disappointed the physical copies did not come with codes/links

I wish he'd release Machina/Machina II already so I can complete my collection. 

'I'm afraid to date or engage with women because they might call me a rapist' remains the dumbest knee-jerk reaction to the increased public scrutiny surrounding how awful men have been to women for centuries.   This is also, of course, the rallying cry of critics of #metoo. 

Power disparities are not "novel."  They've existed since the beginning of our time on this planet.  The only thing novel about power disparities in relationships is society's (for the most part) new(ish) refusal to tolerate bad behavior.  If you're worried about being called a rapist, it likely has less to do with whatever position of power you  perceive to hold, and more to do with how you treat women in general.  Your perceived power, of course, should also not be your first stop at self-examination.  That's a copout, i.e., 'this woman must be mad at me because I have more power over her.'  The truth is, you're probably just behaving badly.  Of course, that is not to say that people do not abuse power disparities to sexually assault women, but the central issue is not the power disparity.  Lots of rapists (in fact, probably the majority) are loser nobodies.  

4 minutes ago, Fowty Dollaz said:

If this is so troubling to you, maybe YOU should stop. I'm just trying to talk and you seem really worked up over it. You've given your perspective and now you're trying to control mine. Chill.

It's troubling because taken to its logical conclusion it perpetuates the "man is the real victim when women claim sex was not consensual" argument people like to make, e.g., "if this wasn't consensual then what is?!"  Conceding any sort of ambiguity in consent is problematic.  You need to stop.  If you don't understand what consensual sex is, then figure it out and, until then, stop having sex with people.  The ambiguity you're trying to force into an otherwise unambiguous concept props up a very stupid defense sex offenders often make.

5 minutes ago, Fowty Dollaz said:

Well he harassed her and pressured her and that's not what I'm asking. I'm asking if the relationship is consensual but with the weird power dynamic. If DRA had never been a turdbucket and abused her (or anyone else) would be more akin to the concept I'm hypothetically proposing.

Oh, for fuck's sake...stop.  What you are proposing is not a thing.  People treating each other with dignity and respect, and fucking, is not non-consensual sex just because one has more "power" than the other.

4 minutes ago, Fowty Dollaz said:

This was the simple sort of perspective I was asking for. Thanks for chilling the tone. Much appreciated. 

As for your "this is so stupid why are you asking this" comment. I'm really just trying to gauge how I perceive it and usually input from others can guide my feelings and perspectives (whether they are different or similar). Since something similar to what I'm asking happened it seemed like a relevant time to ask.

 

But hey, fuck me! 

 

I don't know what to tell you.  All caps seemed the only way to get the point across since you missed it in my previous posts. 

In any event, get professional help if you can.  It sounds like you've experienced something traumatic.  This is not the place to get answers as to your specific experience.  We spend thousands of dollars on an outdated music medium and debate issues related to the same.  We are perhaps some of the least qualified individuals on the issues you may be having.  We can express sympathy, and that's about it.  I hope you figure out whatever it is you need to figure out and find some answers/closure.

22 minutes ago, Fowty Dollaz said:

 

I'll just leave you with this because you refuse to acknowledge the way that you've spoken about what I'm asking in some attempt to undermine me specifically.

YOU are circling the question and not answering it.

Can a person in a lower position of power give consent due to the disparity?

Is it okay for a fan to sleep with a musician? Is it okay for a teacher to sleep with their adult student? Is it okay for a boss to sleep with an employee?

I was just looking for perspectives. It doesn't have to be an attack on me. It can just be an answer. 

 

And to be clear I am a victim, maybe. I don't know. That's kind of part of the reason for the question. I was with a person for 5 years who started sleeping with me when I was 16. She was 23. I was all for it. Technically it probably wasn't illegal in GA at the time, but in hindsight I was always disgusted by the idea of a 23 yo sleeping with a 16 yo. So am I a victim?  Age of consent was (maybe is still) 16 in GA. She was only 23 not 50. We carried on for a long time. It was crappy relationship, but nothing super outside the usual shitty young relationship. 

 

So yes (all those things are probably totally okay and I'm not a victim) or No (those things can't happen because of the power structure and I'm a victim) or it's really kind of a grey area or something else entirely. 

 

Again, I'd like to add that I'd really appreciate you chilling your tone with me. You came out swinging when I was only asking a question on perspective. 

I'm sorry to hear about your trauma but I've answered your questions multiple times.  The above relationships are all okay provided consent was given.  Again, "THE EXISTENCE OF A POWER DISPARITY DOES NOT CONVERT EVERY RELATIONSHIP INTO A NON-CONSENSUAL ENCOUNTER." 

As to whether you're a victim, that's up to you.  If you say you are, I believe you and have no reason to doubt your assessment of the situation.

Edit:  I'll add this, it sounds like you might benefit from talking to a professional about your situation, if that's feasible for you.  I vinyl collecting message board is probably not the best place to get the help you might need.

This is too stupid.  People in disparate power relationships have normal healthy romantic relationships all the time.  And, surprise, sometimes they also just use each other for sex without it being rape.  Why is that such a hard concept for you to grasp?  What's next?  A hypo about how a man and woman could never have a normal relationship because on average men are physically stronger than women?

Again, there is nothing "confusing" about any of this.  Let me know if you need a link to a Ted Talk on "consent" because apparently you're having a real difficult time with the concept.   

6 minutes ago, Fowty Dollaz said:

It's been assumed.

 

I totally understand consent. I totally agree that she was raped and in NO WAY think he's not at fault completely regardless of whether or not their consensual and continued  relationship carried on. I'm asking a question about things that happen that mirrors the current situation. Citing it as a real example and using a less abusive, hypothetical scenario to carry out the question where I THINK the person in power is at fault even if s/he genuinely thinks the other "fan/ groupie/ etc" is into the relationship. It's the same concept as a college professor sleeping with a student. I think you misunderstood or meant to quote someone else.

 

I agree, but assuming everyone thinks the other is just into the situation and NO ONE is assaulted or raped, isn't the person "in power" kind of still abusive by just their status. If so, how can a person like George Clooney ever have a relationship?  That's kind of what I'm getting at. It's always seemed so unclear. Obviously ole George Clooney can genuinely love another person who loves him, but his status will always hold. 

I didn't misquote you.  You're trying to turn every power disparity into rape and, frankly, I don't understand why or the source of your confusion.  George Clooney has a relationship with someone by not raping them....  The power dynamic is not what makes a rape a rape.  Abusing that power dynamic is what makes it rape.  Your hypothetical is flawed and incomplete.  You can't stop at "a power dynamic exists ergo rape."   

Again, consent is not all that confusing.  Not sure why the concept is lost on so many men.  

7 minutes ago, Fowty Dollaz said:

This has always been a weird concept for me. So, obviously she was raped, and she continues in the relationship. Assuming her narrative is 100% the case, let's say (hypothetically) some other lady was in the same boat but WASN'T raped/ assaulted. She wanted to have sex because it's Mark Kozelek. The carry on that relationship, yadda yadda.

Is he culpable just because she's a fan? 

Total aside: Phoebe Bridgers is obviously a Conor Oberst fan. They also boned. He holds a position of power over her (à la professor/ student). Is Oberst going to be cancelled when Phoebz realizes he was just getting laid from his position or did he really get into their relationship?

I'm genuinely curious takes on this.

Obviously MK raped this girl, but isn't "banging a groupie" kind of fucked up in that same breath?

Man, there's a lot to unpack here but I am going to keep it short.  "Consent" is a real fucking simple concept and I continue to be floored every time someone pops in to voice their "confusion" on the issue.  Separately, continuing a relationship that started without consent does not retroactively confer consent.  It's no secret that abused individuals stay in abusive relationships for a long time, for a variety of reasons, including the obvious reason that they have yet to appreciate the power dynamic/manipulation keeping them in said relationship.    

There is an incredible and surprising amount of victim shaming in this thread now.  

2 minutes ago, BeerMonger said:

Deeply disappointed, should be interesting to see how Mark responds. 

"Fuck those bitches, those bitches can suck my cock (some of them did), this is my dinner."

So is Almost Famous a biopic now?

Not sure why they keep failing to repress Once More With Feeling.

3 minutes ago, UrBoyBangs said:

I thought everyone in wave 2 had already gotten theirs judging from the subreddit and posts here so I wasn't sure. I know the dude is busy and it's a one man operation, I don't care at all when I get this, that wasn't my concern, I just didn't know if my order went through and got passed up or not. Also he has another person, Jayne, who handles emails so it's not like he's stopping to email people. 

If you saw the charge on your CC that means your order went through, he got your money, and you'll get your record.  Stop being dense.  

1 hour ago, UrBoyBangs said:

I ordered on the 28th and still haven't received a confirmation/shipping email or my record. Tried to email EAR twice and no response. 

Everyone who ordered in the first wave got their order.  Stop emailing him so he can spend time packing and shipping, and not responding to dumb "where's my record I ordered it a week ago OMG like what's the hold uppppp wahhhhhh" emails.  You'll get your record.

Still can't checkout, but the error changed.  Now mine says "There are no shipping methods available for your cart or destination."

1 hour ago, pepperonigin said:

I love the idea of a physical, box office only release. It rewards fans and gives them a chance to get good seats (if they have the time of course). However, ticket prices for concerts are getting out of control for some artists and it’s really discouraging to see Trent and company charge $200-$250 face to fans willing to wait out in the pouring rain for hours. Disappointed I’ll be missing them but I can’t justify those prices. 

I see all these complaints about prices. I paid $80 a ticket, which seems about normal for a band with this kind of following. Even LCD is charging $50-60 a show now. I also only waited 2 hours in SF. Maybe some other markets had issues. 

Lol at Oracle Arena.  Welcome to the Arcade Fire stadium tour part 2.  The upside is scalpers will be dumping tickets the day of the show.

2 hours ago, mcpherson123 said:

That fuckin' sucks. Sorry to hear it. Hopefully, they make it right for you.

Nah. They should just suck it up because #records or some shit. 

15 hours ago, jonrawks said:

Got my copy of 30 Seconds to the Decline in today.  Pretty excited to finally hear it.

Mine showed up too.  No DL code though.  Guess Mark is really pushing for CD sales.

If Trent had any sense he'd post a picture of one beat to hell and tell everyone that's how it's supposed to be.

2 minutes ago, jhulud said:

Sand(Shit)bag told me they'd ship out my replacement jacket the week of June 24th and that there'd  be no tracking info email or anything. Haven't seen anything as of yet.

 

My email said week of July 17.  In any event, nothing yet, and likely nothing ever.  That's my guess.

55 minutes ago, Derek™ said:

 

Crap. I thought my Myspace was private. 

1 minute ago, Derek™ said:

You could shift your hobby to fidget spinners.  Not only are they more likely to arrive in perfect shape, but I think they're right up your alley.  They'd give you something to harbor your social shortcomings with, the next time you're waiting for the cook to completely remake your burger since a couple of fries were burnt and the tomato seemed a little too runny to warrant full menu price.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

29 minutes ago, Derek™ said:

Wanna' know how I can tell you're really worth holding a conversation with?  Your response to a well-constructed post [with plenty of valid points] is cool story.  Dead giveaway.  And also a concrete indicator that you can fuck off.

 

If you've actually been buying vinyl for 20 years of your life and still feel like every single label and order owes you a 100% pristine copy, I feel legitimately embarrassed for you.  You must be absolutely insufferable to be around in person, and I sincerely feel sorry for any coworkers, friends, or family that have to interact with you in public or on a regular basis.

 

Just had a double LP show up about 20 minutes ago.  Can't believe how shitty the packaging was, and how ruthless the post office handled it.  Demanding a new copy or at least a replacement jacket, stat.  I mean, it's absolutely perfect otherwise, but this is heinous and completely unacceptable when I'm paying for a brand new product.

 

Lulz. I love being personally insulted on the internet by people I don't know. Classy. Anyway, I'm super embarrassed right now. Ugh. What will I do!?!? Guess I'll go fuck off.