tattoosdonthurt Posted April 29, 2009 Share Posted April 29, 2009 God this thread could eventually eclipse the Ultimate Manly Man Thread.... -Emailed my boss after we had a big argument(he never even knew I was drunk)-2009 -Bought TONS of records that I wouldn't have purchased sober on eBay-1999-2006 -Driven(probably like 50 times, I'm sorry about that, I really am, that's why I haven't done it in a long, long time)-1999-2007 -The obligatory "called ex-girlfriend"-1998-2002 -Flipped my Scion tC, but then got out of a DUI with excellent field tests and the penny trick(no one was harmed that night-I don't even think I was that drunk)-2007 -Made out with a fatty but cutie(same girl at like 10 different parties)-1998-2000 -Let my friend's wife seduce me, although I stopped before sex could happen(I was 19, that was sooo long ago)-1999 -Bought random people shots and or drinks-from 2002/3 to currently -Tried to start a fight with a truck full of 4 dudes saying that my "black" friend was gonna kick all their asses(leaving the parking lot a Braves game), then drove up the shoulder and almost ran over a cop w/the stop sign gloves on-2007 -Drove over 120 MPH(only when drunk-WHAT THE FUCK WAS WRONG WITH ME?)-2007 -Ordered Waffle House(wait, that's actually a really smart thing to do when sloshed)-Always and forever -Raced some dude in downtown atlanta, and didn't know my lane was ending and ran into a curb, obliterating my tire and fucking up my suspension pretty good. That was after and AM! show like 7 years ago. -The dumbest that doesn't involve driving. Christmas of last year, at a friends party, we are all staying the night. It's 2 am we're pretty toasted, so the girls and such go to bed, so me and my buddy are the only ones up playing wii. We decide to make a drinking game of it....one shot of JD for each strike you get wii bowling. We both got like 15 strikes in about 2 hours, so we started doing all these shots and it was ugly after that. Very ugly. Dude, I was drunk for like 2 days after that shit. I think this list is long enough. Those are the dumbest things I've done. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jhulud Posted April 29, 2009 Share Posted April 29, 2009 -Making the dumb decision to drive home and proceeding to slam into a median and thus destroying the left side suspension on my car. Thank my lucky stars it was nothing more serious and no other vehicles involved...needless to say I have never driven w/ even a drink in my system...yeah, that accident freaked me out. -At a Brand New show we all got the bright idea of doing Jager-Bombs...Everything went blurry after Manchester Orchestra and I have no recollection of BN's set and someone threw up out the window of the car and all along the passenger side...we don't know who b/c we can't remember who sat where...and my buddy's girlfriend who was sober and drove is not telling -About 4 years ago in Tampa at a friend's party I decided to start a fight w/ a dude who was hitting on the girl I had a crush on...he ignored my first few "threats"...my friends hauled me away before I got my ass beat...it turned out that the guy was an amateur MMA fighter -One night in college I was so drunk that I pissed in my roommate's clothes drawer...I guess I couldn't find my way to the bathroom. Next morning he told me that he woke up in the middle of the night and saw me standing there and thought nothing of it. He remembered and thought it was a dream and when he opened the drawer and found his clothes drenched in piss, he found it was no dream at all...I haven't lived that one down after 9 years -At a show in Orlando for some bands that I am friends with, I got pretty loaded. After the show I was schmoozing w/ the one of the bands and I got some merch from them and completely forgot to pay for it. D'oh! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amsteel Posted April 29, 2009 Share Posted April 29, 2009 I'm actually a little bummed out about all the DUIs in the thread. Getting my Wang pierced at Reading Festival 03. FUCK AND YES. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jhulud Posted April 29, 2009 Share Posted April 29, 2009 One more... Last time I went to DisneyWorld, the then-girlfriend and I went during the Food & Wine Festival. It had always been my mission to have beers around the world at the EPCOT World Showcase. Normally there are 13 countries and most serve beers. During the festval, the number of countries almost doubles as they set up tents and booths for the ones that don't have the permanent fixtures. I have no idea how many beers I was in but I was told that I was talking shit and dropping f-bombs left and right w/ kids around and at one point almost picked a fight with some random dude b/c he got in the way while I was trying to take a picture of my gf and her friend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
headtowall Posted April 29, 2009 Share Posted April 29, 2009 way too many to list. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
murakami Posted April 29, 2009 Share Posted April 29, 2009 i once woke up in an ER with an IV in my arm and, after being handed a mirror, found 5 stitches between my eyebrow and my eye. i came to find out that after drinking too much (21st birthday) and getting kicked out of a bar, i felt the need to relieve myself. i walked down an alley and found a building, which happened to be a church and let loose. now, the guy who was responsible for holding me up didnt want to catch a glimpse of unit, so he let go of me. one second later, i face-planted into the side of the building, slide down the side and cracked my skull on a hose that was sticking out. some good did come of this....i went back to the scene much later and found that the hose now has a plastic protective covering also..... i once invited three girls to be my date to the same wedding one night. however, i woke to be reminded that i am in fact in the VC Dateless Losers club and all three kindly denied my request. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whateverrrr Posted April 29, 2009 Share Posted April 29, 2009 I'm actually a little bummed out about all the DUIs in the thread. yeah I was never bad about driving drunk, but I had friends who were, and I'd get in the car with them, and I so thankful that something terrible never happened to us or worse, to somebody else. A big reason one of my closest friends moved out here was because she sold her car when we were still in Michigan, because she was afraid she'd drive drunk. She'd been pulled over twice, both times let go, after a while you hoped she'd get pulled over and even arrested if that meant she would realize she had to stop. She hasn't driven drunk in well over a year, and has also cut back on the amount of alcohol she drinks. So, things are much better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lokithelion Posted April 29, 2009 Share Posted April 29, 2009 I mooned a room full of people. While standing next to a flight of stairs. I lost my balance and fell down said flight of stars landing ass up. My friends boss entered at the door at the bottom of the stairs at that moment and saw my asshole. Later that night I was outside giving the girlfriend of a friend advice on how to deal with him. The advice was awful. When their relationship fell apart she screamed at me about it. Until my girlfriend pointed out to her that while I was giving said girl advice I was pissing vigorously into the wind. Yep. I'm a winner. I also once talked my way out of getting arrested while tripping mushrooms and walking down the street with a open beer and open jug of OJ in one hand and a twelve pack in the other. He asked what the fuck I was doing and I just shrugged and said "getting my vitamins" then took a swig of the beer and OJ at the same time, making a mess of myself. i think he let me go because he thought i was honest to god full retard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tobinownlife Posted April 29, 2009 Share Posted April 29, 2009 The sad part is, I got my DUI with two pints of beer in me. I wasn't even drunk. The court was 3 hours from my hometown. It ruined my life for a good 6 months, because they ordered me to get counseling on top of the alcohol education class. It's amazing how little beer you have to drink to be considered a complete waste of life by some people. Not taking heat off my DUI, I just experienced some real misuse of information during that time. I now mostly ride a bike and if I didn't tour every once in a blue moon or take trips in my van, I would totally sell it to avoid ever having to deal with that shit again. Because as a couple nights ago taught me, when you are that drunk, you don't remember that you are not supposed to be driving. We have a free safe ride service too and I couldn't remember to do that even. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lydiawesome Posted April 29, 2009 Share Posted April 29, 2009 - Apparently made my way into some dude's van with my legs straddling a drum kit, and passed out using my friend's guitar as a pillow(Fest 6). - Got into a giant fight with my best friend at SXSW and told her she was a worthless whore(we're still bfffzzz). - Made some dude cry because he wouldn't stop calling me, girlfriends helped. It included a lot of encouragement for the dude to kill himself because he was a pathetic douchebag (we were 18/19 at the time, and this dude was a 26 year old creep). - Hooked up with a dude 4 years younger than me. - Got really drunk while crippled and on crutches. - Got really drunk while crippled and in a wheelchair. - Called the sxe dude that I was kinda seeing and told him he was a loser, and should go out and live a little, that whiskey could be his friend. - Ordered food and passed out when it came, and was subsequently blacklisted from ordering in. - Made out with my friend in a London alley. - Drunk dialed my dad. - Entered a 70s disco prom contest (and won). - Slid down a halfpipe in a cardigan, underwear, and cowboy boots. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rtw88 Posted April 29, 2009 Share Posted April 29, 2009 It's not hard to remember not to drive when you are drunk if you're not an asshole. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lydiawesome Posted April 29, 2009 Share Posted April 29, 2009 It's not hard to remember not to drive when you are drunk if you're not an asshole. Yeah, true. I slept in the hatchback of my car in downtown LA (not the hip part), once because I didn't feel right driving home that night. Another time, I had my dad come pick me up and left my car in some parking lot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whateverrrr Posted April 29, 2009 Share Posted April 29, 2009 Definitely not condoning drunk driving, because it's never okay, no matter what the situation, but I've tackled people to the floor and have thrown keys on roofs because people legitimately thought they were okay to drive and adamant about it, and have absolutely no recollection the next day, and in a sober state can't believe they were going to drive. that was a long run on sentence. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tobinownlife Posted April 29, 2009 Share Posted April 29, 2009 It's not hard to remember not to drive when you are drunk if you're not an asshole. Well, at no point did I say I was OK with driving drunk or that I woke up and thought, "meh, oh well." I was genuinely upset with myself about it. I'm also very surprised no one stopped me, though that's not their responsibility. Depression mixed with alcohol really sucks and I hope to not do that again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eddieruckus Posted April 29, 2009 Share Posted April 29, 2009 ive probably got the best ones, when i get home ill list them Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
riddle350 Posted April 29, 2009 Share Posted April 29, 2009 so far loki wins that shit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aviolentworld Posted April 29, 2009 Share Posted April 29, 2009 probably tons having to do with me getting naked and running around parties and shit like that. the two that make me proud are 1-pee'd on my wife when we were dating. 2-first time i got drunk i came home to my mom hosting an AA party and met them all as i stumbled up the stairs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
casey Posted April 29, 2009 Author Share Posted April 29, 2009 At a friend's house and this girl said she wanted to bone. We had nowhere to go, so we walked around the neighborhood until ultimately settling on one of these: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whateverrrr Posted April 29, 2009 Share Posted April 29, 2009 probably tons having to do with me getting naked and running around parties and shit like that.the two that make me proud are 1-pee'd on my wife when we were dating. 2-first time i got drunk i came home to my mom hosting an AA party and met them all as i stumbled up the stairs. whoa, number 2 ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattstrike Posted April 29, 2009 Share Posted April 29, 2009 At a friend's house and this girl said she wanted to bone. We had nowhere to go, so we walked around the neighborhood until ultimately settling on one of these: Awwwww! And then you married her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aviolentworld Posted April 29, 2009 Share Posted April 29, 2009 probably tons having to do with me getting naked and running around parties and shit like that.the two that make me proud are 1-pee'd on my wife when we were dating. 2-first time i got drunk i came home to my mom hosting an AA party and met them all as i stumbled up the stairs. whoa, number 2 ... yeah i know right. i actually started drinking at 22 becuase of her. man i could tell you tons about my mom. too bad she doesnt post on here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
casey Posted April 29, 2009 Author Share Posted April 29, 2009 At a friend's house and this girl said she wanted to bone. We had nowhere to go, so we walked around the neighborhood until ultimately settling on one of these: Awwwww! And then you married her. Actually, the weirdest place I've had sex with my wife was in the car in the mall parking lot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jhulud Posted April 29, 2009 Share Posted April 29, 2009 During Sophomore year of high school, I attended this party at which I got pretty blitzed. My friends drove me home and then the great guys that they are, they dropped my passed-out ass on the front lawn of my house. No idea of the time, but I got woken up by sprinklers being turned on by my father. That was a fun one to explain to him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
j4m35 Posted April 29, 2009 Share Posted April 29, 2009 no regrets Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattstrike Posted April 29, 2009 Share Posted April 29, 2009 Actually, the weirdest place I've had sex with my wife was in the car in the mall parking lot. But where you inebriated? Anyway, other than the usual drunken sexcapades, the second and last time I ever drove intoxicated was after I went out to shoot pool with my friend Todd at Buffalo Billiards down on 2nd & Chestnut. I had just found out my damn-near common law marriage lady had had a week long affair while in Switzerland (with a person I knew - and it had been planned for some time, I found out). Needless to say, I was pretty crushed. He and I drank at least 7 or 8 Sierra Nevadas chased by an equal amount of Maker's doubles (he had told the bartender what happened to me and she treated us to the bourbon). For some reason, be it adrenalin, anger or sadness I was absolutely not feeling it when we left. I drove us back to his place in West Philly, very slowly, mind you, down Walnut Street. Got to his place. Went in with the sole intention of pissing and turning right back around to head back to Germantown, but instead passed out in the bathroom as soon as I finished pissing. Woke up the next morning wondering how the hell I ever thought I was okay to drive to his place, let alone back to mine. I was lucky. Really lucky. Never, ever again. The first time, I drove my van 7 feet, to the parking spot in front of me so I wouldn't get a ticket while I slept. That was a lot safer, since it took me 30 minutes to get the key in the ignition. There are, of course, other stories - but everyone's heard 'em before. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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