salparadise Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 Yesterday I learned that one of my best friends had passed. From the update tat we were all given it she had "apparently committed suicide" and that police/her mother were interested in speaking with anyone who had spoken to her in the last two weeks. Which leads me to believe that I may have been the last person who spoke to her, because her phone was going straight to voice mail for several days (my concept of time is really whack right now) and the last thing that she said to me - after she had just had what for her was a particularly bad day - was, "I'm going to get off the phone, take some sleeping piils, and going to bed." It's absolutely surreal and I do not want to believe it. The absolute lack of details and communication between her mother and her friends is really killing me. It is really hard for me to imagine that the situation was so bad this happened and that it seems that no one knew for nearly two weeks. I don't know what to do and I am sorry if I am bringing anyone down I am just so upset and confused. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danthemjfan23 Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 wow, brother, that's tough. if you need anything, even if it's just to vent/rant, i'm here. hope you're doing as best as you can right now to deal with everything. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hickey Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 Sal, that's terrible news. Sorry man. At this point, just try and be as helpful as you can to the family and the rest of your friends. Comfort each other. Think of the fun and awesome times and remember your friend for the great person she was. It's a really shitty situation you're in, but you'll get through it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcm1610 Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 That's so shitty.. They always give that speech around prom time that a certain percentage of the graduating class will die within a year and so on, so don't fuck around too hard, but luckily no one in my class or the year behind me where a lot of my friends were has passed yet. And that's like 850+ kids, so we're beating the odds for sure. I can't imagine what it's like to lose someone. Outside of great-grandparents, no one close to me has died in my lifetime. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
casey Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 When I was in 10th grade a really good friend of mine was shot and killed during an argument with his stepdad. I was coming home from school and I saw a bunch of ambulances going down his street. The police had the whole thing blocked off, so I couldn't see what house they went to. I saw a reporter and asked him which house. He said the red one and I said oh thank god it wasn't Leighton, because Leighton's house was green. The reporter asked me to repeat myself and then he said oh, Leighton was the young man who was killed. Apparently his parents had painted the house the week before. To add to the shittiness of it, the last time I saw him I had said something really dickish to him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thedavidescapeplan Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 I've been through a similar situation and I know almost exactly how you're feeling. If you want to talk about it go ahead and message me or something. I'd be glad to help in any way possible. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jhulud Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 My deepest condolensces Sal. I've been in a similar situation so I know exactly what you must be feeling and going through. I have a very small group of friends and one of them, Rick, passed away in what we think, may have been a similar way. This was about 4 years ago. To this day, his mother refused to tell us what caused his death. He was fine one evening and we were all hanging out having a good time. Next day, in the afternoon we were all supposed to meet up and he was a no-show. We got the call from his mother that when she went over to his house to drop off some stuff fro him, his roommate had found him unresponsive in bed. We thought it could've been something like an overdose but he was not a drug-user. We all smoked pot from time to time and that was as hard we got. So needless to say we were in utter shock and disbelief. Like Andrew said, be supportive to friends and family and always remember the good times had. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deville Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 Suicide Machines "Scars" from Steal This Record always helps me through shitty times. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alex13 Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 I'm really sorry about the news. Losing a close friend is rough especially with the circumstances of an untimely death. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lonesomexloveus Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 that's awful to hear. i'm always horrible about consoling people/knowing what to say. i just got news today the husband of that the lady i'm closest to at work died yesterday. it wasn't unexpected, but he went downhill very very fast, so i'll be attending a viewing tomorrow night. i'm not sure what to say to her, so i'll probably just make her cookies or something. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whateverrrr Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 :[ I'm so sorry. I know sorry doesn't really help anything feel any better, but I really hope you are able to pull closer to your friends and that they can help you through this. I can't imagine losing a friend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xfedaykinx Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 im very sorry to hear this man. this cant be an easy thing to deal with, especially with everything youve been going through lately regarding your own health. chin up, brother Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaime Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 sorry to hear that man. i know how you feel, my roomate last year passed away just 4 months into school. as someone already said, its best to think of the great memories and how great of a person you lost was. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
controlthebleeding Posted July 7, 2009 Share Posted July 7, 2009 My condolences Sal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
riddle350 Posted July 7, 2009 Share Posted July 7, 2009 That's aweful man. It's always really hard losing people especially when suicide is thrown into the mix. Stay strong dude. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tanukichu Posted July 7, 2009 Share Posted July 7, 2009 Sal, I'm sorry for your loss. Like others have said, stay strong and supportive of your friends and her family. That's the best thing you can do. I know what it's like to lose a friend so suddenly. The circumstances weren't the the same but it was definitely tragic all the same. Valentine's Day of 2007 I lost my friend Amanda. We didn't really talk a lot after graduation since she didn't do the social networking thing but I knew she was someone I'd love to hang out with when I came home to visit. The last time I saw her was at the Homecoming game the fall after our graduation. Amanda was one of the few people I graduated with that had my utmost and profound respect. She was someone who transcended social barriers, cliques, and hostile teenage pack mentality. She was such a positive individual, a friend to everyone, kind and so very genuine. She was involved in all sorts of community service and dedicated to everything she put her mind to. That awful day a little over two years ago, she took her sisters sledding and she swerved and ended up impacting a pole and from my understanding either died on impact or shortly after. What kills me is that none of her other friends bothered to tell me this and I found out from some girl on myspace I graduated with (who likes to gossip about stupid shit) "did you hear about amanda? yeah she died" and I had to call my parents and ask them if this was in the newspaper....I didn't want it to be true. Her funeral also fell right on the day of a midterm exam that my professor wouldn't even let me make up since she wasn't a family member. So I'm sure I got shit talked for not attending her funeral. I also love how people conveniently didn't tell me about a memorial garden dedication about a year ago that happened either. So I never really got full closure or a proper goodbye I suppose other than a wall post on the Facebook group. Sucks. I knew she would have definitely made a positive impact on the world and it upsets me she never got that chance. Whenever our high school reunion rolls around it will definitely pain me not to see her there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jurrobear Posted July 7, 2009 Share Posted July 7, 2009 That so tough Im sorry to hear this, try to stay strong When I was a senior in high school,one of my best friends was murdered on the way to his moms house, some gangsters stopped him and beat him to death,cracked bottles on his head and slit his throat with them, he walked all the way to his moms house and collapsed on her doorstep, he died 5 days later. I grew up with him and would spend weekends with another friend of mine playing SNES all night and watching taped episodes of MADtv the next morning, we didnt talk as much in our teenage years but if I saw him I would hug and remind him that we should hang out, I later discovered he was running in a gang and the murder was gang related. I feel so bad just thinking about it and whenever I walk by the alley where he was beaten (its 4 blocks from my house, its also a short cut to another friends house) I get chills and just remember that I dont have him in my life anymore. While he involved himself with gangsters he still went to school and worked hard to help his family,I really wish I could still play Super Nintendo with the guy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
salparadise Posted July 7, 2009 Author Share Posted July 7, 2009 Thanks for everything guys. Sleeping helped and waking up was hard - but things are better today, we all found out a little bit more about the situation, albeit not very much, still. It's just so hard to think that she was just...there for a week...we're all pretty sure that it was an accident, she didn't leave a note. Just hard to deal with on top of everything else. The past 3 Novembers I've lost family, I lost my dog in October, I lost another friend this past November - a few days after losing my grandmother, and got real sick with what turned out to be cancer around the same time. So...everything has been a real "WTF" lately and honestly I still don't believe it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
salparadise Posted July 7, 2009 Author Share Posted July 7, 2009 well this just got more interesting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
minty Posted July 7, 2009 Share Posted July 7, 2009 I lost a friend last week too, my favorite cat was run over on friday and I had to dig a grave for him which is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I know it probably sounds stupid to most of you, but we had him for 14 years and he was truly a part of the family. He really was the nicest cat...he would follow me around the garden and sit with me when i would eat lunch outside, he would even sit up at the table with us when having a meal. He was a little man at heart. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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