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-Slept like garbage for the 4 hours I slept. Am exhausted but can't fall back asleep.

What is up with with all this sleep deprivation? The planets must be mis-aligned…

––––– This cocktail I'm taking for neuropathic pain is making me fucking hallucinate. I keep on seeing people and animals rush by me. Christ!!

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I always have a hard time sleeping because of my back but lately i think it's a cycle due to all the energy drinks.

probably had one or two bad nights of sleep 3 weeks ago then i would drink an energy drink or tow to make up for it then im up til 3 am and up for work by 6.

wash,rinse, repeat.

im exhausted right now but cant sleep so im cleaning. lame.

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- Still down about my money situation and at the possibility I won't get to see my family.

- I am still way too behind on school work

- I realized I left my keys at the school and it was too late to get them back. The school was locked up. So I'm fucked until tomorrow

- I have just been seriously, ridiculously down. :(

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-ever wake up from a night of sleep feeling worse then when you went to bed? Maybe I got a full nights sleep and I finally am feeling how run down I really am.

I hear you.

More often than not, I am scared to go to sleep because one of the two or both things will happen: I am going to wake up within 3 hours and not be able to go back to sleep / it's going to take me an hour of tossing and turning trying to find a comfortable position. In the end it seems to not really matter cos I can't move my neck or feel my left arm in the AM…

Chronic back/neck pain sucks ass.

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- have to work from home today

+ think i might say fuck it and be screwed on monday morning

+ might go meet friends for bowling

- headache

- house is dirty and i have no clean clothes

+ its clear and sunny out, hopefully no more rain

+ got gangland - season 3 on dvd

+ finally got my hair cut

+ 2 weeks until vacation

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+ saw Taylor Hollingsworth (lead guitarist in Conor O'Berst's "Mystic Valley Band" and in Bright Eyes) play a show with Kate Taylor (Maria Taylor's sister) yesterday....to 5 people...My girlfriend and I being the only people that actually showed up for the show, the others wondered in off of the streets

- Nobody showed up for the show b/c this town is a ghost-town when school's not in session

+ work was surprisingly laid back today

+ it's fucking gorgeous outside today

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+ I'm out of credit card debt, again

+ Moving to New York in July, around the 15th-25th range

+ have a good nest egg saved up

+ last month of work will get me to what I wanted saved up for when I got there, and some playin' around money ass well

- If I don't find a job out there, will quickly get back into debt

+ all apart of the ADVENTURE

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- EXHAUSTED

+ive been sleepy all day. i didnt take a nap and i cleaned and did laundry. my goal was to make it until 10 pm and then try and get a good nights rest finally. i can hardly keep my eyes open and only have half an hour to go.

- i beet i wake up at 230am and cant fall back asleep.

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I really don't want to make an entire thread about this.

-So I feel like I finally need to tell my parents that there is something wrong with me and I need help.

EDIT. I had a big long rant typed out...but..yeah....I dunno.

Long story short, I think I'm dealing with adult ADD and/or depression. I've definitely had warning signs in high school and it's only been getting worse and I'm kind of at a point where I'm ceasing to function efficiently as a human being. I don't like being this way so I need to do something about it. I'm having trouble figuring out how to tell my parents because they need to know, especially since financially I can't afford therapy on my own (I'm uninsured to boot). Factor in family history of mental illness as well.

:/

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I really don't want to make an entire thread about this.

-So I feel like I finally need to tell my parents that there is something wrong with me and I need help.

EDIT. I had a big long rant typed out...but..yeah....I dunno.

Long story short, I think I'm dealing with adult ADD and/or depression. I've definitely had warning signs in high school and it's only been getting worse and I'm kind of at a point where I'm ceasing to function efficiently as a human being. I don't like being this way so I need to do something about it. I'm having trouble figuring out how to tell my parents because they need to know, especially since financially I can't afford therapy on my own (I'm uninsured to boot). Factor in family history of mental illness as well.

:/

Nicole - I'm gonna PM you with some info that might help.

And I am sorry yr feeling down - been there many times…

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+ seeing mastodon tonight

- - - - - So the drivers of the trains on the London Underground are about to walk out over pay disputes, cue two days of nightmare bus journeys... SO PISSED!

When everyone else is having to live through pay freezes and the possibility of redundancies, what gives these dickheads the right to strike simply because they can't be promised pay rises and no loss of jobs?

Right when i have to make a journey across London to see Faith No More play tomorrow night.

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+ somewhat slow day at work compared to the chaos i have been dealing with

+ slept well last night, feel pretty good

+ Chuck Ragan is playing here Thursday night

+ Bowling got moved to wed instead of thursday making it easier to go to the show.

- Girlfriend has been super stressed about getting accepted into the dental program at school and also being broke as fuck. I feel bad for her.

- Unwelcome family guests coming and staying at my place on friday night. i think its like 5 people and 2 are children, and i fucking hate kids!!!

+ this should be the 1st weekend where i dont have to work

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Guest kevinb

-went to go visit a Friend at a tattoo shop who is visiting from Florida

had 2 & 1/2 beers.

got pulled over for "speeding" even though the area the cop sited me at "speeding"

he was pulling up to the stop light about 1.5 miles away.

had a Breathalyzer & passed (fuck, I don't know about legal limits I seldomly drink)

still scary as shit though.

+got off with a warning, cop was extremely nice about it

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